New year, new start

RachelS

I used to be really good with money. Hah. Maybe that was because I always had plenty...budgeting was fun. Let's face it, there's not too much stress to planning where to save your extra cash, is there? Skipping meals out and taking your own bottle of vodka to the club is quite satisfying when you can see the pounds mount up in your pension (although your friends might think you're a bit odd).

Fast-forward two years. A change of career, a change of location, a pregnancy, post-natal depression.

No change in spending to match the new income.

It turns out when it comes to the crunch and there isn't enough cash coming in, I turn into a bit of an ostrich.

A while on, I've had my head dragged out of the sand, and the view isn't pleasant.

Pension: gone. Savings: gone. £7000 loan. Two overdrafts totalling £3680. Council tax arrears. No money paid off student loan for two years. Nowhere to go any more in terms of borrowing from family...they'd lend, but I'd feel like a heel.

Husband on less than £20,000 and myself a stay-at-home mum to one-year-old twins.

Ho hum. Once we started selling things to pay for home-made Christmas presents, we realised something had to be done.

Our aim for 2011...end the year with no outstanding debts except our mortgage, my student loans and what will be left of the £7000 loan, which we are paying off in monthly instalments.

How we are going to do it...

We rent out our own house and rent a house from family. They have given us a 3-month rent payment holiday so we can start to get on track.

Earn more! Even on a tight budget, it is hard to see how our expenditure can be trimmed down to match our earnings. It's just about OK for now but won't be once we start paying rent again.

There is lots of potential. My husband is just starting out in his new career...he is looking to increase his earnings AND get a second job. I am going to get a job, hopefully from home, but if not we will be looking at childcare options. We'd both like to do something like envelope-stuffing if there's anything worthwhile out there. We want this to be the year we make long-term career plans and start working towards getting there.
We also have quite a lot of stuff we can sell. I am aiming for one eBay listing every day until some cash starts rolling in.

Spend less! We want to re-invent our definition of 'necessary spending' and come up with creative ways to enjoy life while spending less.

I will have lots of questions and need lots of support as I work through our finances bit by bit...watch this space and I'll keep you updated as our bank balance creeps up!

Thanks for reading! Rach xxx

RachelS

So I am no longer an eBay virgin. Well, I have bought stuff before but never posted a listing. I am now pledging to post one listing a day...have started small with a book to get the hang of it. Will do another one tomorrow.

RachelS

It's the psychological part of all this that's the hardest. I get stressed about my financial situation, and I want to do something escapist to bury my head in the sand. Like buy a takeaway!

The question is how to focus enough on the situation to deal with it, without scaring myself away. I think being super positive about it is the answer. Try not to think too much about the 'what ifs'...'what if I don't find a job?', 'what if we don't stick to this?' etc, and have fun with it. That's where these forums come in for me, as well as getting ideas.

Today we ate a cheap dinner...white pasta, tomato sauce made with ingredients we already had and some grated cheddar. I got sad as I wanted brown pasta and some meat but couldn't afford it. Then I started thinking...what if I'd always eaten like this? I'd have had xyz number of pounds more. Well, we all know, that way lies madness. I did enjoy the meal.

My main concern is the quality of food I am feeding my 13-month-old twins. I have already stopped buying everything organic (although I still buy them organic milk). They eat less fresh fruit than they used to. I feel their eating well is a financial sacrifice I wanted to absorb for a few years...but having parents in a load of debt isn't going to help them either, is it?

trixiepix

Hi Rachel,

Welcome!! - i've been guilty of spending beyond my means and have got myself in a bit of a pickle because of it but hey New year is a good time to start and like yourself i'm gonna be ebaying my debt away even if it is only 99p a time - may take a while (lol!!) plus streamlining all expenses and seriously trying to stay away from shops for a while!!!!

Good luck

xx

Helen105

Hi Rachel
Good luck on your journey.

The amazing Weezl from the OS board started a website on eating cheaply and healthily http://www.cheap-family-recipes.org.uk/index.html if you take a look it might give you some ideas.

I know they are all healthy as I was a regular on her thread for a while and listened to all the discussions on how to get enough calcium into the diet etc. Didn't know enough to make enough contributions myself. I did some testing though & the Risi e Bisi is really nice even though it is mainly rice and peas, and we also loved the apple spread and the home made peanut butter.

fannyadams

well done for getting on here and showing us what you're made of!
You are a fantastic mum to your darling twins so don't feel guilty about what you're feeding them. As long as they are eating a broad range of foods (ask the HV if you're not sure) They'll be just fine.
Have a look here at the boost your income things http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/health/?tab=37&dd
There's loads of ideas, from mystery shopper (you could take your babies shopping with you), to being paid for doing on line surveys...
Wishing you all the best.

FAxx

victoriaplum1

Hi Rachel
Just wanted to say Good Luck with the moneysaving and that I get where you are coming from - I used to like moneysaving too, when I had a f/t job, no kids, my own house etc etc but now fast forward 8 years I have 2 kids a joint mortgage no job and oh earns only 16k.....its alot harder to manage and alot less fun trying! And like you the minute I know I can't afford to have something like a takeaway I really want one (oh is evern worse, he has no willpower on the money saving front....he is not a spendthrift, he just has his moments!) I know I need to save money and cut back but no idea where to start - this site is great but so much information and I am going around in circles, not knowing what to try what not too etc. I have been looking for work but realistically I need part time term time only as not got childcare provisions in the family etc - and after suffering with PND badly after 1st son was born I am quite scared to go into a stressful job as I know I don't cope well with stress these days - I have had several good jobs over the years but the stress factor is the thing I can't cope with since having kids - on other hand I hate staying at home ft and i feel guilty that I am not giving my kids the best either in terms of not scrimping by or of not spending quality time with them when I am at home. Is not a good situation to be in - I really need to get my act together, make some decisions and get on with it - I have ebayed for last few years too but I tend to go through stages with it, one minute I am mad for it and next I can't summon up the energy, same with Amazon - I have sold quite a few books on there and find it less faffy than ebay on the whole but again my lack of continued motivation lets me down!

RachelS

Thanks all for your great replies. A lovely welcome and some really good ideas. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the recipe site...I was nearly crying reading it. I was feeling guilty that I'd have to give up the boys' health food shop goodies. I've been buying them jars of pumpkin seed butter at £2.79 a pop...reading this site, I've learned how to make my own which will be cheaper and healthier. It would never have occurred to me to do that. It's made me feel I can stick to - and possibly even come in under - my new food budget, which had previously seemed impossible to me.

Victoriaplum, your post really hit a chord with me in so many ways. I am particularly with you on the going back to work front...I had problems with anxiety before I had PND so am very worried about going back especially with all the extra responsibilities at home. But I am also finding it hard to stay bouncy and bubbly all day with the boys. It's OK if we're at a playgroup...and luckily some of the local ones don't charge if you can't afford it...but at home, thinking of games all day, is tough!

Helen105

So glad you liked the recipe thread, Weezl would be absolutely thrilled with your post as you are just the type of family she wanted to help.

domesticgoddess789

RachelS wrote: »

Thanks all for your great replies. A lovely welcome and some really good ideas. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the recipe site...I was nearly crying reading it. I was feeling guilty that I'd have to give up the boys' health food shop goodies. I've been buying them jars of pumpkin seed butter at £2.79 a pop...reading this site, I've learned how to make my own which will be cheaper and healthier. It would never have occurred to me to do that. It's made me feel I can stick to - and possibly even come in under - my new food budget, which had previously seemed impossible to me.

Victoriaplum, your post really hit a chord with me in so many ways. I am particularly with you on the going back to work front...I had problems with anxiety before I had PND so am very worried about going back especially with all the extra responsibilities at home. But I am also finding it hard to stay bouncy and bubbly all day with the boys. It's OK if we're at a playgroup...and luckily some of the local ones don't charge if you can't afford it...but at home, thinking of games all day, is tough!

Hi RachelS

I am really glad that you are finding the website helpful and second what Helen105 says about Weezl being thrilled with your comments. I am sure you will have made her day

victoriaplum1

[Victoriaplum, your post really hit a chord with me in so many ways. I am particularly with you on the going back to work front...I had problems with anxiety before I had PND so am very worried about going back especially with all the extra responsibilities at home. But I am also finding it hard to stay bouncy and bubbly all day with the boys. It's OK if we're at a playgroup...and luckily some of the local ones don't charge if you can't afford it...but at home, thinking of games all day, is tough![/QUOTE]


I am yet to find a job that I feel I can commit too and manage the homelife without getting stressed up to the eyeballs - I always end up so stressed I take it out on the family and then end up leaving the job - it is a vicious circle and so hard to find a balance. I have been doing some courses via a local group called Genesis who provide courses for out of work mums etc or peopleworking under 16 hrs, they do some really good things and I expect most areas have similar schemes - the courses are free and most have a creche. I did an excellent empowerment course with them, so interesting - shame I still can't make a decision regarding the do I don't I go back to work thing but am sure it will come in time. I wish I could just enjoy being at home while I have the chance but to tell the truth I find it boring....and I procrastinate alot! I don't think I am a natural mother, though I love my boys to bits I am certainly not in my element being a ft housewife...esp with the lack of money that goes with it!