Troublesome Neighbours - How Do You Deal With Them?

Horasio

We are living in the house from hell. One side has screaming kids playing till all hours and the parents don't care when we complain. The other side have midweek parties had by twenty something students and generally make noise and building noise for weeks at a time to the point we can't sit in our garden in the summer or relax.

We have just had a phone call from our neighbour DEMANDING - RIGHT NOW!! to pay a bill they want us to pay - a shared bill for work done.

This is the first we know of how much and they are bullying us by talking to us this way. They are ones who have the psychopathic sons who have midweek parties and threatened us when we complained, and the ones who have inflicted the building work on us last month and in August.

They are going away next week but hope none of their family decide to infest the property in their absence. I will call the police if they do anything wrong. Ironically she is a JP so would know what rights we have.

We can't report them to Environment Health as it will be recorded on our property sale. We are wanting to sell in the new year.

We are biding our time and getting out, I really hope no-one jeopardises our sale.

When will we ever get any peace

Does anyone have any tips as to how to cope or what we can do?

cashdaddy

Try this website. http://www.nfh.org.uk/

mrsS_2

so sorry to hear what you are going through
you are doing the only realistic thing and that is planning to get out asap.

had similar situation when we had our first flat- neighbours had 12 children(not exaggerating) in 3 bed house and we lived in a 2 flat conversion in the next house.

At least 3 of the children were born deaf and so the tv in their house was so loud we couldnt actually hear out tv at all when they had theirs on. That and the screaming all the time drove us mad. (through well built Victorian walls I might add)

The disposal of dirty nappies out of their upstairs bathroom window thrown outside to land at our back door was just a minor inconvenience (took back and told them I would get enviromental health round if they ever did that again- that scared them as I knew 2 of the kids had to sleep in the bathroom at night) Didnt stop all other litter being thrown out of the window though.

then we had "the fat slags" and their delightful boyfriends move in upstairs with their constant parties, visitors, peeing in the hallway etc etc

sorted the loud parties out by putting our music on much louder than theirs until they got the message- as they wouldnt turn it down if we asked nicely or even threatened with the police. Husband prided himself on the power of the amp- we only had to go up to number 6 on the dial and couldnt hear ourselves think-told them it went up to number 10 and if they really wanted a volume war they could have one but it was not going to be a battle we would lose.......

managed to sell (read practically give away) flat to our postman when fat slags were at work, but neighbouring children were screaming in the garden- but he didnt care- just wanted to live on his round.

moved way out for 6 years so could afford a detached house and will NEVER buy a house attached to neighbours ever again.

sorry to be so negative- the way we dealt with it was to be very antagonistic back and to sell as soon as possible for whatever we could get and make sure were never in that situation again.

I am sure someone will be able to give you a more useful post concerning your legal rights etc.

bootman

I moved to a detached house thinking that would end problem neighbours but oh no! Why do I always seem to move next to ones with out of control kids all the time. Parents that are never there parties through till 3or 4 am sometimes. Next house I want to be in the middle of a field with only cows mooing to complain about. Thats my plan anyway!

mrsausages

My job involves dealing with ASB for an ex-council housing association. Sadly I speak to people in your situation on an almost daily basis. It is only small comfort to know that you are not alone.

Perhaps my first question would be are your neighbours owners or tenants? If they are tenants the landlord would be a good first port of call. People often shut up when threatened with eviction. And despite what you might think the complainant is rarely the victim of any reprisals.

I know that you are concerned about the consequences of reporting the situation to the authorities, but if the problem is as bad as you say, it is going to be hard to go throught the whole process of selling without prospective purchasers finding out anyway. You may find that buyers will be more comfortable to know that there was once a problem that has been sorted, than to hear on the grapevine that you are keeping something from them. Perhaps you could seek the advice of an estate agent (one that you are unlikey to use!). Your choice may be to accept a lower price from someone in full posession of the facts or risk the sale falling through at any time if the purchaser gets wind of the situation. Bear in mind they will probably visit a number of times, what are the chances it will be quiet each time? Probably not what you want to hear, but this is the situation you are in and this is the situation you need to deal with.

My advice is always take control of the situation yourself. Call environmental health. They will ask you to log times and dates of music noise and make a judgement from your info as to whether to install noise monitoring equipment.

Call social services. If the kids next door are running riot and the parents don't care, someone needs to step in and help. Don't worry that you will be responsible for the kids being taken away - in my experiance that only happens in extremely nasty circumstances when the kids are clearly at risk of harm. Who knows, the parents may actually apreciate the support they might get. In any case all calls will be investigated and this might jolt them into taking more responsibility.

Call the police. You are being threatened and intimidated. Not calling them now will let them think that they can always treat you this way. Seek legal advice about the bill they have given you. If you are liable for the cost try and make an agreement to pay, if not let your solicitor tell them why.

The only way to try and cope is to avoid playing the victim. Rather than complain to no-one and hope the situation will solve itself, complain to everyone until you get peace.

One word of caution - the war of noise option mentionned by mrsS rarely works. You are likely to end up feeling that you are sinking to their level.

The following links are also useful:

https://www.together.gov.uk - will tell you how to contact the ASB co-ordinator for your area
http://www.nsca.org.uk/pages/environment_facts/neighbour_noise.cfm - good information on how to deal with neighbour noise.

I'd love to be more positive and offer a 'magic wand' solution, but there isn't one. Its not fair. It will make you cross. It will get you down. The sooner you start dealing with the problem, the sooner it will go away. But there are lots of people about who can help. Remember, you are not alone. You have my comsierations for ending up with neighbours like these. I hope you manage to sort them out and get your life back.

Poppycat

Thats one thing I hate about moving, what are the neighbours like. I have bene fortunate to have good neighbours all these years

I am selling up and had someone round today with buy to let. I feel uneasy with buy to let as I dont want them to have bad tenants plus my house has been a lovely home to us

tomstickland

other side have midweek parties had by twenty something students and generally make noise and building noise for weeks at a time to the point we can't sit in our garden in the summer or relax.

We have just had a phone call from our neighbour DEMANDING - RIGHT NOW!! to pay a bill they want us to pay - a shared bill for work done.

This is the first we know of how much and they are bullying us by talking to us this way. They are ones who have the psychopathic sons who have midweek parties and threatened us when we complained, and the ones who have inflicted the building work on us last month and in August.

I think you should look at dealing with these people first.

You need to write to them explaining what the problem is and asking them to acknowledge that they understand your complaint. Seeing how they now need money from you and all that.

You can complain to the environmental health department about excess noise.

If you fancy some revenge then I'd recommend developing an early morning interest in angular experimental noise, something like the Aphex Twin Classic Works contains some really good 7am wake up sounds. Last resort though, because fighting fire with fire, well you're almost as bad as them.

roswell

not the nicest way to do bussines but if the bill isnt in your name you may want to point out that your not liable for it ...

Horasio

roswell wrote:

not the nicest way to do bussines but if the bill isnt in your name you may want to point out that your not liable for it ...

It is for emptying of the septic tank which is shared between me and two other neighbours.

I don't mind paying the bill but I do object to the manner she spoke to us when it was the first we heard of the bill being due. We don't even know the amount.

She summoned us to go to her place NOW and pay it NOW, without checking what we were doing.

I do not respect people who do that, especially when they and their 'children' have loud parties and long term building work done on a whim without any consideration towards us.

This is our home and I wouldn't even let anyone talk to me like that at work!

Horasio

Perhaps my first question would be are your neighbours owners or tenants? If they are tenants the landlord would be a good first port of call. People often shut up when threatened with eviction. And despite what you might think the complainant is rarely the victim of any reprisals. We are all houseowners, non estate and they premium priced properties.

I know that you are concerned about the consequences of reporting the situation to the authorities, but if the problem is as bad as you say, it is going to be hard to go throught the whole process of selling without prospective purchasers finding out anyway. You may find that buyers will be more comfortable to know that there was once a problem that has been sorted, than to hear on the grapevine that you are keeping something from them. Perhaps you could seek the advice of an estate agent (one that you are unlikey to use!). Your choice may be to accept a lower price from someone in full posession of the facts or risk the sale falling through at any time if the purchaser gets wind of the situation. Bear in mind they will probably visit a number of times, what are the chances it will be quiet each time? Probably not what you want to hear, but this is the situation you are in and this is the situation you need to deal with.

My advice is always take control of the situation yourself. Call environmental health. They will ask you to log times and dates of music noise and make a judgement from your info as to whether to install noise monitoring equipment.

Call social services. If the kids next door are running riot and the parents don't care, someone needs to step in and help. Don't worry that you will be responsible for the kids being taken away - in my experiance that only happens in extremely nasty circumstances when the kids are clearly at risk of harm. Who knows, the parents may actually apreciate the support they might get. In any case all calls will be investigated and this might jolt them into taking more responsibility.They will know it is us as we are the only people affected

Call the police. You are being threatened and intimidated. Not calling them now will let them think that they can always treat you this way. Seek legal advice about the bill they have given you. If you are liable for the cost try and make an agreement to pay, we are willing to pay but not be treated like a dog about it if not let your solicitor tell them why.We wanted to talk to their parents but decided against it in case they wouldn't deal with it. We called the police on them in 2005 and the boy carried a grudge.

The only way to try and cope is to avoid playing the victim. Rather than complain to no-one and hope the situation will solve itself, complain to everyone until you get peace.

One word of caution - the war of noise option mentionned by mrsS rarely works. You are likely to end up feeling that you are sinking to their level. I am not going down that route - it is childish and never helps

The following links are also useful:

https://www.together.gov.uk - will tell you how to contact the ASB co-ordinator for your area
http://www.nsca.org.uk/pages/environment_facts/neighbour_noise.cfm - good information on how to deal with neighbour noise.

I'd love to be more positive and offer a 'magic wand' solution, but there isn't one. Its not fair. It will make you cross. It will get you down. The sooner you start dealing with the problem, the sooner it will go away. But there are lots of people about who can help. Remember, you are not alone. You have my comsierations for ending up with neighbours like these. I hope you manage to sort them out and get your life back.

tomstickland

They sound obnoxious to me. This is why you need to start a habit of writing them letters.

Explain that you are happy to pay your share for the tank, but in future would appreciate the invoice in writing some time before it was due.

Write another one about the noise.

Turn nosey - read up on your rights, see who has the deeds for the house, investigate who owns it, do they rent it to their children etc. If they rent it to their children then they are tenants. See what the law says about nuisance tenants. Keep investigating all the options.

Make yourself known to them.