how often to see children

MissMotivation

Hi

Just wanted to say keep your chin up! I have been through a similar situation with my DD's father, although it was a couple of years ago. He now sees her every other weekend Saturday morning until Sunday night and 1 half of every school holiday. This works out well for us all, he gets to have a relationship with his Daughter, she gets to see her Dad and I get a free weekend!

I understand you being angry that he is not being a good Dad at the moment but let him take some responsibility too. I thought that my DD's dad would give up after a few weeks of having her at weekends because it was too hard, however it has now been nearly 2 years and it's going great!

Sunny_Angel

Savings Girl
sorry to hear about your stressful time.:grouphug:

Have you any idea how much time Dad wants to spend with them? It may be less than you have imagined.
Have you any idea in your own head how much of "a break" you would like?
Are your children old enough to have an opinion on much time they want to spend with Dad?
It amy be easier to come to an arrangement if you knew everyone elses expectations.

By the sounds of it he will be too busy out having a good time to be bothered too much anyway. (Are you sure its not my ex h you are talking about??:p )

Sunny Angel

skintas_2

i used to see my mum everyday as she used to pick my sister up from school, me and a brother lived with my dad, sister and younger brother lived with my mum, would go around her house about once or twice a week. my childrens grandmother cant see my children as her daughter asked her to choose, her and her two girls or me, and my two boys. my mother in law choose her daughter and her two granddaughters its a shame as they would love to see there nan. i just cant happen as im not gonna be threaten by my sister in and law and her man, i def wont let my kids be around this...........

sarahlouise210

There are so many factors to consider ....do your children have a good relationship with him and do you know they wil be happy to see him on his own away from you. How often do you think your ex will be prepared to see them (and stick to the arrangements) I have been through this ..trying to be nice ...having fortnightly visits ...being let down..visits getting less and less until they stopped altogether. When that hapened I went to his house to ask why he had not been to pick them up - he had MOVED! The neighbours told me he had hired a skip and thrown all my childs stuff in it! **stunned silence** since then we have not heard from him - no birthday cards, no xmas cards nothing. I know from others that she now has 1/2 siblings ..that she has never met. It is very sad. they have told me that they hated going anyway ..and only went because they thought I wanted them to..**feels bad**
Anyway..on the other hand-if all is good then once or twice a fortnight seems ok..unless the ALL want more.

hobo28

Hi Savingsgirl

The only people who can define what is reasonable is you and your ex. Don't let what others say here influence you. You know your ex best. Is he really going to take good care of them whilst he has them? From the sounds of things I guess not.

I would also hazard a guess that he's not going to be terribly interested in splitting the childcare with you and that you'll be lucky if you get any decent maintenance. What happened with me and I've seen it happen to others too is at first the ex is all keen to see the children "as much as possible" but then over time lose interest. Oh there's always a reason, new job, no money whatever.

The most important thing to remember as a single parent is that you can only rely upon yourself. Dont expect your ex to pay you ontime and in full, don't rely upon his money to survive. And his social life will be far more important to him than his parental duties.

Its far from easy being a single parent. All that happens is often we swap one set of problems for another. Eg. He's spending too much money now becomes he won't pay me maintenance. He never spends time with the kids becomes he only sees them once a month and only if it doesn't conflict with golf.

I'm not criticising, been there done that so know exactly what you are going thru. Good luck