dementia advice .

margaretclare

Oh my God.

Reading all these accounts, it does make you realise that life is precious and should be lived to the full, every day, every hour.

My late MIL had this, and she was younger than I am now.

loulou123

How long you can stay at home depends upon many things including the type of dementia alzeimers, vascular dementia etc. I work with dementia sufferers (and my nan also had it) and some of them will go down hill fairly quickly and suddenly, whereas with others it will be a much much slower gradual decline.

With my nan, we had to make the decision to put her into care at a very early stage, as she was often very aggressive and hurt both myself and my mum, but with some of the people i work with, they have been able to stay at home until the more advanced stages.

The alzeimers society has a brilliant forum, which covers all types of dementia and the problems demetia sufferers themselves and their loved ones face, which might be worth a look, as all of the people on there are very friendly and will know what you are going through

http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/

Savvy_Sue

anna_grant wrote: »

I found that the thing that helped me most was a book called 'Contented Dementia' by Oliver James.

I've also heard good things about this book, and we have a copy which I'd like to give to MIL as FIL has been diagnosed with both senile and vascular dementia. but she's still at the 'we can cope, it's fine' stage, although FIL can get verbally aggressive if things don't happen as he thinks they should.

mind you, she denied knowing that DS3 had passed his driving test, whereas he remembers phoning to tell her! her own mother was very senile for the last few years of her life (DH won't really talk about it, but I gather it was VERY difficult) and I know she dreads going the same way.

BIL still lives at home, but I think what worries me is that the changes are quite gradual to him, so he thinks it's fine too, whereas I am concerned each time I see FIL at how much more of the last few years he has forgotten: DS1's graduation, my dad's funeral etc.

and I worry that MIL won't even consider finding out what services might be available locally, because she doesn't think FIL will accept that he needs them - after all, he's got her!

I find our visits exhausting, so what it must be like to live with it all the time I do not know.

cavework wrote: »

He also gets very aggresive when we visit.

I believe that's quite common after a stroke. doesn't make it any easier though.

Savvy_Sue

oh, and both MIL and FIL are computer averse if not phobic, so online information is nigh on useless to them.

sheilavw

Its sad reading all these accounts. My mum has been on aricept 5mg for 2 weeks and we have seen no change, in facts shes wandering more. Now everyone is back at work we are hoping to hear from the social worker they have appointed for my brother. My 43 year old downs syndrome brother lives with Mum and he is suffering too. Me and my sister go daily but we both work 37 hours so cant be there all the time. Just tonight got a call at 8.05pm she had set off for church, for some reason its always church, she would go everyday! We are hoping the Aricept kicks in, heard it can take a while. The number of times I have to set off in the car in pjs and look for her is unbelievable!

SnowWhiterThanWhite

bryanb wrote: »

Sorry but it's much too late for EPA. they finished some time ago, unless previously set up.
Nowadays only Lasting Power of Attorney is available, set up via solicitor & Court of protection. They are more difficult and expensive, but still essential to do ASAP.

Just to let you know that you do NOT need to a solicitor to arrange this for you, (ours wanted £600 fee), you can download or order the pack direct from the following FREE of charge

Office of the Public Guardian http://www.publicguardian.gov.uk/forms/Making-an-LPA.htm

It does look confusing to start with, but if you put aside an hour or so, read through all the information & application form, you can do it yourself.

There is a charge if/when you want to register the POA, up to a maximum of £120, depending on the donors income, possibly no fee payable if income is below £12,000, or if the donor is already receiving certain benefits.

HTH

Granny_Sue

Anyone wanting advice or a shoulder to cry on should go the forum on the Alzheimers Society website. Talking Point
They are all amazing.

soolin

Granny_Sue wrote: »

Anyone wanting advice or a shoulder to cry on should go the forum on the Alzheimers Society website. Talking Point
They are all amazing.

I would echo that. I cannot praise all the aspects of advice and 'chat' I had from the Alzheimers society.

All my fundraising and charity donations now go to them, I don't even put £1 in a box for anyone else. The Alzheimers society actually give back so much by way of time and help that they deserve the funds.

I couldn't have coped with the hassle with the authorities when my Dad first developed dementia without their help.

katsclaws

I can also recommend the Alzheimer's forum Talking Point.

Katsclaws

pineapple

Hi
I used to work with carers where a family member had dementia.
I have actually had people threaten suicide should, say, the Alzheimer's word be mentioned. 'Dementia' of whatever variety, isn't much better.
The way I got round it was to talk initially in terms of 'memory problems'. I think you have to go by where that person is at, in terms of acceptance.
Some types of dementia can progress very quickly. In other instances, people can live in their own home for many years with support.
The other thing is to try to get over the stigma. It is nothing to do with intelligence, class, gender....
The local Alzheimer's Society or an organisation like Carer's Resource should be able to put you in touch with sitting and befriending services which may well be free.
There are things you can do to help that person maintain independence. Like a white board on which to write upcoming dates/appointments - or large calendar clocks which roll over the day and date.
There is also a national organisation called CareAware which gave me legal and financial advice in respect of my own mother. Their advice is free.
Good luck.