Buyers are camped in our garden over Christmas

thejonesfamily

d123 wrote: »

Continuity error

Remember Mr C was arrested for drunken driving in an earlier episode, how will he have a company car without a drivers licence......

Yes but if you read the earlier post her asked for a non driving job. They just let their staff borrow the cars. I have corrected the hearse spellings.

Dramatic night last night, we were waken up at 1.30am by a motorbike in our drive (very loud it was).

I looked out of the window and noticed the occupant of the bike knocked on the clamperwagon and went in. At first light it was still there.

I hope the clampetts are swinging in my driveway :eek:

thejonesfamily

ok, i cannot contain my "not knowing" of who else has been sleeping in my drive, the caravan lights are on, so I may go and walk the dog and casually knock to see if they need a Sunday Sport or something.

charlies_mum

thejonesfamily wrote: »

I hope the clampetts are swinging in my driveway :eek:

Are you sure you don't mean

I hope the clampetts are not swinging in my driveway :eek:

Or maybe not

clutton_2

""casually knock to see if they need a Sunday Sport "" -

sounds like they have already had their own sunday "sport":p

jools27_2

You HOPE they're swinging in your drivewy???:rotfl:

thejonesfamily

well the clampetts are out of cooking gas, so have dined with us for lunch. Well, they cooked theirs and we cooked ours. House stinks of haddock which is probbaly better than eau de clampett. They had the fish with mash and mint sauce. The mint Mrs C said "I hope you didnt mind me picking the mint growing by the caravan" and as I sat there watching them pour homemade mint sauce (which Mr C kept complimenting Mrs C on) on their mash, something dawned on me and I nearly choked on my stir fry when I realised that the mint bush is where the puppy cocks its leg up. I didnt say a word but Mrs J pi55sed herself laughing when I told her after.

Back to this am, we finally met the stranger. I did knock on the camper door but there was no answer, so left them to it. It was only when they all needed a wee that I got to meet Billy-Bob.

No joke, there is someone who lives in Devon called Billy-Bob, and i must say he was worse than the clampetts. Normally when you greet someone, it is often kinder not to fart before shaking hands, but this bearded man I could knickname Stig Clampett is something else. Dressed in leathers, it was more of an S&M delivery than M&S.

So Billy Bob Clampett is Mr Cs brother it turns out, coming for the funeral. Somehow he has decided Wales seems like a nice place to spend a few days and is going to stay in the clampervan with them and go off each day and tour wales on his bike. He is also the third confirmed pull bearer. I just hope Edna is as lopsided on her back as she was on her feet. I hope they dont ask me to even up the other side.

At lunch the subject turned to flowers. There is a saying, say it with flowers and the Clampetts have decided on a recreation of a cigarette end with her name where Berkeley is usually printed. I presume the budget of white carnations didnt extend to the full length of her menthol delight, though I nearly offered the remaining mint from the garden. I am sure the local florist, clever in her craft at beautiful beach weddings in Barry will relish the challenge of dog end.

There are going to be donations to SOBS (society of blind scrabblers), apparantly, they need a new mini bus as the old one was written off. Presumably the driver got wind of a triple letter score and veered off the road in excitement. Either that or the cats eyes in the road (which i am informed double as braille markings to keep partially sighted people on their side of the road) havent been replaced on the newly tarmaced stretch of the Torquay road.

Quite why there is a need for a minibus I don't know. Without meaning disrespect to any blind people reading this, you may as well stick a bench in the back of a ford transit for all they know, and it also means they wouldnt have to wear their sunglasses.

Billy Bob did make a joke though. He looked at our puppy and said in his thick west country accent

"I wouldnt have one of those"

Why I replied

"They make you blind. Havent you seen all those retreiver owners with white sticks"

Groan....

clutton_2

"" any blind people reading this" - i'd welcome some explanation on how this might occur Mr J ?:cool:

mystic_trev

clutton wrote: »

""casually knock to see if they need a Sunday Sport "" -

sounds like they have already had their own sunday "sport":p

Perhaps they're exchanging Pearl necklaces!

thejonesfamily

bumped into Mr C and BB C walking back with a bottle of gas from the garage. They thanked us for letting them use our facilities and moaned about gas prices,

They both said that they are looking forward to enjoying a roast in the caravan tomorrow

Now, this conjures up a thought and I know what you are thinking, should i allow Mrs C to hand pick any more of my pi55y mint?

If I sabotage it, I will look like i am depriving them on the mint, but if I tell them, they will ask why I allowed them to eat it in the first place. They say ignorance is bliss, but in this case, ignorance is p155

SonjaLiK

:rotfl:Brilliant stuff.
However, I have realised that there are a few key elements missing (or at least I have missed them), and those are the ages and brief descriptions of Mr and Mrs J and Mr and Mrs C. You can even include a slightly more detailed one of brother C as well and Mrs C's bro's as well please.
It will make it a lot easier to imagine the whole scene.

edit, you could just tell them the puppy had only peed on it tonight which won't make today's sauce come back up but will put them off any future ones. It does make me wonder, will Mrs C's replace her mint sauce with white?