How to deal with kids late at night in holidays

mrcow

Tell him that bedtime is 8pm. Sharp. And he can read for 1/2 hour.

If he chooses to turn the light back on after you've turned it off, then the bulb will be removed PLUS he will not be allowed to watch tv (or whatever else he likes doing the most) for three days. And needless to say......stick to it. At 9, he's old enough to be able to choose his own actions and take the consequences.

None of this "up til 10pm drawing" rubbish - seriously - what's that all about? What lesson is he learning there apart from "My Dad is useless at keeping control of a situation and anyone can walk all over him"?

And a kid of 9 will walk all over you unless you are consistent and fair. At the moment, you are doing his a grave disservice by being inconsistent and flakey with your rules. You think he's being cute - he's not, he's taking advantage and you're giving him completely the wrong messages.

Why are you trying to be his mate? He doesn't need you to be a friend, he needs a parent. Someone who can be relied on to keep their word and get things sorted - and that includes sticking to a bedtime routine. As a single parent do you not think you've got it tough enough without making more rods for your own back? We are here to teach our kids.....it's not an easy job and sometimes we have to do the tough stuff. It's part of the job description.

mutley74

mrcow wrote: »

Tell him that bedtime is 8pm. Sharp. And he can read for 1/2 hour.

If he chooses to turn the light back on after you've turned it off, then the bulb will be removed PLUS he will not be allowed to watch tv (or whatever else he likes doing the most) for three days. And needless to say......stick to it. At 9, he's old enough to be able to choose his own actions and take the consequences.

None of this "up til 10pm drawing" rubbish - seriously - what's that all about? What lesson is he learning there apart from "My Dad is useless at keeping control of a situation and anyone can walk all over him"?

And a kid of 9 will walk all over you unless you are consistent and fair. At the moment, you are doing his a grave disservice by being inconsistent and flakey with your rules. You think he's being cute - he's not, he's taking advantage and you're giving him completely the wrong messages.

Why are you trying to be his mate? He doesn't need you to be a friend, he needs a parent. Someone who can be relied on to keep their word and get things sorted - and that includes sticking to a bedtime routine. As a single parent do you not think you've got it tough enough without making more rods for your own back? We are here to teach our kids.....it's not an easy job and sometimes we have to do the tough stuff. It's part of the job description.

Thank you for your kind reply.:)
I will try and perserve with the advice given.

Have a Nice Xmas

Savvy_Sue

mutley74 wrote: »

i am a single dad, so i find it hard internally to keep telling him off, makes me feel bad. I do feel for my son a lot he has not seen his maternal family for a while. Hence, i feel he needs my love and support more than ever. But at night i notice he likes to be jovial and laughter, so how does a parent tell of a child who is laughing and smilimg!?!:think:

you need to introduce yourself (and him too!) to the idea of 'tough love'.

because you love him, you will not always give him what he wants, but you WILL always love him enough to do what's right for him. and sometimes, he can't have what he wants, and that's tough.

btw, my own way of dealing with this was to say "fine, you can stay up, and I'll go to bed. Now, after you were in bed I was going to wash up, do another 2 loads of washing and sort out the dry clothes from yesterday, get the veg prepared for tomorrow, vacuum the lounge - is that OK with you to do all that for me?" sometimes I had to make the list quite long before they caved in, but they always did!