'I love you but I love ME more' Souk's 2011 diary

Souk08

Hi lovelies,

Met lovely gilligansyle tonight and had a hoot! :jAlso met a colleague from my old job today so good day all in.

I'm trying to structure my week a bit so I have days of job hunting/doing stuff, days of meeting people and a few chillaxing days. This way I can still have some human contact and stay positive mentally!!!

I also swapped some clothes over today. Replaced my size 12 skinnies with size 10's :jin Primark and also got some warmer jammies. Spent my Boots voucher too on a lovely Benefit concealer and a nice nail varnish.

Seeing a rep mate tomorrow and looking forward to lunch with him. He's put some seriously ancient and dodgy pics of me on FB today so I'll be chinning him for that. :rotfl:

Off to bed so I can get up tomorrow X

MatyMoo

Souk08 wrote: »

This way I can still have some human contact and stay positive mentally!!!

Love this bit :T

Was going to say well done on the size 10 skinnies, but why is it we feel we have to mention size and weight, shouldn't we be happy as we are (*insert confused smiley here*)

hypno06

All sounding good, Souk! You are attacking the job situation with exactly the right attitude - had though it is sometimes - so I am very sure it will all come together for you soon.

x

Souk08

MatyMoo wrote: »

:T

Was going to say well done on the size 10 skinnies, but why is it we feel we have to mention size and weight, shouldn't we be happy as we are (*insert confused smiley here*)

MMMM, honestly Maty? Well:

How I look is important to me and for me personally I feel happier as a 10.
I haven't had an amazing time over the last few months and usually, that would send me straight for the biscuit barrell. This time I haven't let it and I'm proud of myself for that.
SHOULD (and you know I hate that word) we be happy as we are? SHOULDN'T we want to be better, and happy and healthy and staying slim for me is part of that. How far do we stay happy as we are. As a size 14, 18 , 32, when they're bringing the hoist in? (A but extreme but you know what I mean)
In my last job I saw MANY women who had let themselves get big, struggle to get it off and HATED their bodies. I know that if it goes on, it's hard to get it off and the effects on your body are not what I want for me personally.

Surely how my body looks and functions is my responsibilty and (unless I have an illness) how big I let myself get is up to me.

It's NOT as important as friends and love and laughter but it does matter to me personally and Im fine with that.

I know what you mean lovey but no we can't just let ourselves get bigger and bigger, just because we live in a world where it's not PC to admit that you care about how you look!!!!

MatyMoo

Souk08 wrote: »

MMMM, honestly Maty? Well:

How I look is important to me and for me personally I feel happier as a 10.
I haven't had an amazing time over the last few months and usually, that would send me straight for the biscuit barrell. This time I haven't let it and I'm proud of myself for that.
SHOULD (and you know I hate that word) we be happy as we are? SHOULDN'T we want to be better, and happy and healthy and staying slim for me is part of that. How far do we stay happy as we are. As a size 14, 18 , 32, when they're bringing the hoist in? (A but extreme but you know what I mean)
In my last job I saw MANY women who had let themselves get big, struggle to get it off and HATED their bodies. I know that if it goes on, it's hard to get it off and the effects on your body are not what I want for me personally.

Surely how my body looks and functions is my responsibilty and (unless I have an illness) how big I let myself get is up to me.

It's NOT as important as friends and love and laughter but it does matter to me personally and Im fine with that.

I know what you mean lovey but no we can't just let ourselves get bigger and bigger, just because we live in a world where it's not PC to admit that you care about how you look!!!!

:T Good response! Especially the bit I hilighted

How I look is important to me too, I was a 6-8 for years and am now much happier (healthier too) at a size 10 and I honestly don't want to get any bigger.

Just a bit cautious about weight issues as I have a bigger sister (who will never be a size 12) and used to work with an anorexic.

On almost every other thing I am the most unPC person you will ever meet :rotfl:

Souk08

I knew that Maty, hence I didn't get offended!!! Hon, I'm not talking about obsessive dieting, just that on a short person like me, I prefer the way I look as a size 10 (on the bottom, my boobs are resolutely a 12/14 and that SUITS ME!)

I would never take it too far, that's ageing too. I jsut like being where I am now X

hypno06

For the first time in my adult life, I am comfortable with the way that I look. Confident about it too, which is the big thing for me, after years of being bigger than I would like.

I'll never be a size 8 jeans again.....but equally, I will never be the size 16 I was 2 years ago.

I rejoice in my 10s, and recall (just) telling everyone in the pub a couple of weeks ago just how fantastic my ar$3 is. Celebrate :rotfl:

Karmacat

Love it! I'm size 12, mostly (sizing is so weird these days!) and I'm just under 5' 7" - and I *like* being slim - as you say, Souk, it suits me. I don't want to go any lower, thats ageing, absolutely, but I don't want any more either - because of how it looks, how it feels, and nowadays because of the health issues. I don't get the PC thing of "its okay to be morbidly obese so that I need a ventilator at night to help me breathe, as long as I love myself" - and I swear to you, I've seen somebody say that (admittedly on tv, but I did hear them say it) - though I've also known women who are very fit, play badminton regularly and so on, who are size 18. And this is the breadth and depth of being human! Many shapes, many sizes! Oh, I've just realised, the Vulcans in Star Trek said it first :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations

Butti

Karmacat wrote: »

I don't get the PC thing of "its okay to be morbidly obese so that I need a ventilator at night to help me breathe, as long as I love myself" - and I swear to you, I've seen somebody say that (admittedly on tv, but I did hear them say it)

I don't think it's even a matter of what people should or shouldn't do. I firmly believe that those with alcohol / overeating / drug issues are often avoiding dealing with painful issues and psychological problems. They may not even realise this is what is going on. Maybe that method of covering the problem over works for them and they can cope that way. It is quite intimidating to start to try to deal with some issues of severe trauma, like physically or emotional abuse, and if this trauma happens in the first 3 years of life it's embedded in your primative brain. You lot are dealing with issues but it takes some balls.

Between the ages of 18 and 30 I was about 13-14 stone. Not morbidly obese but definately unattractive enough to the opposite sex. It turned out that was the point, having grown up with a male role model who was aggressive, frightening and who needed control, my primative brain was telling me subconsciously very strongly that the last thing I needed was a man anywhere near me. I was also totally unaware that this was what was going on. I was lucky enough to go out with a man who was positive and encouraging at 30 and that challenged what my primative head thought.


B

Karmacat

Totally agree, Butti, I wasn't going to go there, but yes, that layer is there.