I'm sorry, but I'm leaving you....

WhiteHorse

These Shirley Valentine things never work out.

wearside_2

I tried to close my Citibank yesterday as I returned to First Direct to do my main banking. I hadn't used Citibank for some time and when I logged on the the site it would not let me do so. I telephoned our friends in India and said I could not access the website and wanted to close my account. He told me that I could not do so over the phone but would have to send a secure message after logging on:mad:. I told him that I could not access the website and wanted to close my account. He said that I should try again:mad:. I was tempted to say again that I could not access the website and wanted to close my account but resisted and put the phone down:mad:.

timbo58

Barclays tried to charge me £10 many years ago to close an account with £1.26 in it!
I wrote myself a cheque for £1.26 and stuffed the ripped up cheque book and cut up card in an envelope and dropped it in their night safe!
I think they got the hint.

tafer2uk

Currently in the process of transferring to First Direct too, 10 years of lows (Can't remember any highs) have taken their toll. We've just received a £60 golden handshake from them to stop us escalating our complaints to the banking ombudsman. Can't wait to get closure :T

MF2015

sharpy2010 wrote: »

If the OP genuinely means to send this to Santander, as a bit of a "jokey complaint", may I respectfully suggest that it is spellchecked first, otherwise the OP will just look a bit silly.

Respectfully, it was a joke..... :cool:

But thanks for the advice dear member of the spelling police.

nads

MF2015 wrote: »

Dear Santander,

There is no easy way to tell you this , I'm leaving you.

We have been together for so long, through the good and the bad times and I thought things between us couldn't get any better.

But recently your becoming harder to live with. There's the constant mistakes and !!!!-ups, and you're never there to listen to me.
When you are it's so hard to get through to you and you seem so distant, I can't take it any more.

I have found myself someone else, there called First Direct. I hope I'm not making a big mistake, and that you can be happy for us both but this is the only way I can see out of this mess.

We shared a lot together in life, loans, CC's, savings, even buying a house together but now that's all gone.

I hope you can find closure and see the errors of your ways and hope you don't treat others in your life the way you treated me. I'm sure by doing this you'll go far and be happy with who ever you have a relationship with.

Regards

One happy ex

x x x

Dear Simon Jones,

So you're leaving me? That's right we did have some fun times.

Remember the time you queued 30 minutes behind 7 other people and I didn't think about opening another counter? I was selfish, I don't think I can change that sorry.

I know my online banking old and I know to make matters worse I switched off Mobile Banking but it was the best for our relationship.

I know that when we were together I was a slim size 8, I just lost focus and now that I'm a size 22 with a consuming disorder I regret it. I will try harder but I can't tell you what I'm going to do to fix this.

I'll find someone, I know I will,

Juanita Santander.

nads

nads wrote: »

Dear Simon Jones,

So you're leaving me? That's right we did have some fun times.

Remember the time you queued 30 minutes behind 7 other people and I didn't think about opening another counter? I was selfish, I don't think I can change that sorry.

I know my online banking old and I know to make matters worse I switched off Mobile Banking but it was the best for our relationship.

I know that when we were together I was a slim size 8, I just lost focus and now that I'm a size 22 with a consuming disorder I regret it. I will try harder but I can't tell you what I'm going to do to fix this.

I'll find someone, I know I will,

Santander.

Dear MF2015,


Yeah, sorry I forgot what your name was, I'm pretty sure the body of the letter was meant for you.

No biggy.

Yours whenever you want me back,

Juanita Santander

adamc260

MF2015 wrote: »

Dear Santander,

There is no easy way to tell you this , I'm leaving you.

We have been together for so long, through the good and the bad times and I thought things between us couldn't get any better.

But recently your becoming harder to live with. There's the constant mistakes and !!!!-ups, and you're never there to listen to me.
When you are it's so hard to get through to you and you seem so distant, I can't take it any more.

I have found myself someone else, there called First Direct. I hope I'm not making a big mistake, and that you can be happy for us both but this is the only way I can see out of this mess.

We shared a lot together in life, loans, CC's, savings, even buying a house together but now that's all gone.

I hope you can find closure and see the errors of your ways and hope you don't treat others in your life the way you treated me. I'm sure by doing this you'll go far and be happy with who ever you have a relationship with.

Regards

One happy ex

x x x

Made me chuckle Santander need to pull the finger out, dreadful bank

MF2015

Size 22, get with it!! Have a look in the mirror and tell me you’re not too big, all you do is consume. Maybe if you were a little smaller and concentrated on keeping in shape we wouldn't have got to this!