Christmas Gift for someone who has 4 weeks to live?

iceicebaby

Do they have any young relatives? maybe record them singing carols or some songs, upload to a cheap mp3 player. Might cheer him up?

Fiasco55

A few years ago my dad had been ill for a while and was taken into hospital on Christmas Day and stayed there until he died on New Year’s Eve. He never had the chance to open up any of his gifts which included talking books, slippers etc. My mum, his two sisters and I took it in turns to make sure 2 of us were there with him throughout that time so he was never alone. That was truly the greatest gift we could give him. Anything else was meaningless.

I am in tears writing this post and hope that it will help you. I would also say in reading the earlier posts it is apparent who has been through this experience by what has been suggested.

Lunar_Eclipse

I would give him a handwritten (handmade?) card, letting him know the 3/5 things you admire most about him, your favourite few memories of him and mention anything he has said or done that has inspired you in your own life. Plus anything else you might like to say that is often easier to write.

I would then say that your gift to him is time, for example, that you'll be round on Monday to read him his favourite book or poems (or passage from the Bible; I have heard it's common for non religious people to enjoy this too, close to the end.)

Or, could you recreate something for him, from an earlier time in his life, that he'd appreciate? For instance, if you know that his favourite holiday ever was to Margate, you could gather lots of images and 'take him back to Margate' for an hour or so, with a couple of props or discussions to help recreate the memory.

The_Next_Verse

henpecked1 wrote: »

Someone I know has only a few weeks to live and it is Christmas next week.

I have struggled with a Christmas card as Christmas isnt going to be much fun. It isnt going to be a Happy New Year either.

He is bed ridden so no slippers.

He cant eat so no chocolates

I could get Pajamas with a Gift receipt...

I dont want to buy something that clearly will surpass his life expectancy, i.e. a John Lewis TV with a 5 year guarantee wont inspire... very stuck.


All in all, what does one buy someone with a limited life expectancy....
He doesnt have much humour either so an M&S wooden overcoat wont go down well.

I know i'm probably going to get flamed for this, so I apologise in advance and want to just say I really don't mean anything bad by it but I *know* someone will take it the wrong way as i'm not entirely sure I'm reading it right!

I feel so sorry for you being in this situation. I would hate it if it was me, especially if it was someone really close to me.

But.

"Pyjamas with a Gift Receipt"? I hope that isn't because you intend to take them back in a couple of weeks when he has sadly passed on?

crutches

Last Christmas a middleaged male college teacher of mine was dying.I wrote a note saying what I had learned from him and how I valued his teaching and later his friendship through our Quaker meeting.Some other Friends visited to worship with him (at his request.).

I also sent a CD single of a new song that I thought he would like and he did.I then took time to write to his family.To let others know that you are thinking of them takes very little of your own time and can mean so much to those involved.

To anyone facing this at Christmas when all around are celebrating you are in my thoughts.

crutches

I took the pyjamas to mean so that he could have them exchanged if unsuitable but not know the cost.If bedridden in hospital I'd suggest summerweight ones as wards can be very warm even in this weather.

easilydistracted

Years ago my then husband's mother died. She was only in her 40s. She and I were very close and spent a lot of time together towards the end and I'll never forget those times. It was her birthday about three weeks before she died and literally everyone that knew her bought flowers. Every room was overflowing with them. She knew of course why everyone had chosen her flowers and hated it, it was like a constant reminder that she was dying and a bit like the death tributes had already arrived. The whole family were incredibly traumatised and having too clear away the decaying flowers and clear up the mess added to this. I bought her a little purse with a cat on as she loved cats. She was over the moon. I suppose it was a strange present given that she was pretty much bedbound and she never got to use it, but I was glad that was what I'd chosen for her. I would focus on getting something your friend will enjoy that isn't too focused on the fact he is dying.

chickywiggle

crutches wrote: »

I took the pyjamas to mean so that he could have them exchanged if unsuitable but not know the cost.If bedridden in hospital I'd suggest summerweight ones as wards can be very warm even in this weather.

that's how i read the pj's too.

How about a CD of 'lifetime' songs. again without knowing how old he is this is hard to describe but say he is 50........
- a song from the day he is born
then either:
- number 1 songs from each year (some years) of his life from the day of his birthday (http://www.everyhit.com/dates/ http://www.everyhit.com/dates/thisdate.php)
- select songs from each decade (1960, 1970, 1980, 1990, 2000, 2010)
- songs that may mean something - number 1 on day he got married, day child was born etc.

Stephb1986_2

Audio books are a good one you can normally borrow them from a local library for three weeks at a time (mine does) I had a few Harry Potter ones that were really good.

Are they getting a proper christmas dinner?? I'm not saying give that as a present but perhaps something nice.
What about a scented candle to make their room smell nice, music cds one that you've made yourself would be a nice one.

Just a lovely christmas day being treated as normal would do me if I was the one dying.

Thinking of you

Steph xx

I_know_my_ABC_and_my_CMYK

When I was in the same position as you, it was my mother-in-law, I took her flowers. Her favourites were Freeshia and at the time Marks and Spencer were selling a variety which had a strong scent.

She loved them, in fact they turned out to be the only flowers she could smell due to the heat in the room she was in. So they were a good choice.

Plus I gave her my time to sit and hold her hand for 2 hours a day which also gave her husband time out to walk his dog as he was living there.

Your post bough back the memories for me, but not sad memories, strangely enough but good memories of a very brave and courageous woman who really didn't deserve to be suffering as she was. She even planned her own funeral I will always be grateful for that time we spent together.