engagement present?

sharnad

get them a card but no present if they arent having a party - really cheeky to ask for money

balletshoes

brians_daughter wrote: »

Do you/are you meant to buy engagement presents?

I never have done but my MIL has been on the phone saying my sil's oh is planning to pop the question next week, not sure if SIL knows or not... so i said how nice it was etc and i would get a card..
MIL replied by saying 'well, i have only told you then you can get sorted with a card and present - i think they would like money'

They arent having a party or anything ( i did ask MIl and she said no as its xmas etc) They have been together 13 years and have 4 children so its not as if i can give them money to save for a new home... but is it expected now? Is it the norm to give gifts when no party is taking place and they have been together sooo long?

I feel kind of pressured to give a gift... its Christmas Saturday and her birthday Sunday so shes getting 2 lots of presents as it is (not to mention her oh and 4 children we have bought for)! or is that just me being mean?? :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: Its not a case of we couldnt if we wanted to, but should we/is it now the norm?

I would give an engagement present if they were having an engagement party, but otherwise I wouldn't feel pressured into giving a pressie, just lots of congratulations .

skintchick

I was really surprised when my aunt gave us an engagement gift, i didn;t think anyone did gifts for engagements unless you threw a party.

I wouldn't buy a gift, but if I did then it would be something small and definitely not cash.

But really, unless there is an actual date set I'd be suspicious of a wedding happening at all - my BIL got engaged but he lives with his missus and they have no date and no plans. It isn;t going to happen IMO.

coco1980

i hate it when people expect/ask for money, i make a point of only giving a card if this is the case although it is only your mil saying this

Jinx

If its someone you see a lot of then a card and a bottle of cut price champers that you can all enjoy.....

I got married last year and I think for the engagement we got a couple of 'wee mindings' but that was all, we're in our late 30s and had had our own houses for years.

skintchick

Jinx wrote: »

If its someone you see a lot of then a card and a bottle of cut price champers that you can all enjoy.....

I got married last year and I think for the engagement we got a couple of 'wee mindings' but that was all, we're in our late 30s and had had our own houses for years.

A couple of what?!?!?!?!

Jinx

A 'wee minding' is a Scots expression for a small gift........lol

VK-2008

i got engaged 3 years and 2 days ago - not that im counting lol!!!
we never had a party and certainly never asked for any gifts
we were however given them
some people gave phot frames, other wine, cash ranging from 20 - 100 quid. we made about 600quid out it which we put towards our house we were buying
also got household things like towels etc
should you feel you are to get a gift pop down to supermarket and get a bottle of champers - and 2 fluteswrap it up nice and job done
you have got something
couple have kids and living together so i wouldnt go over the top
not being negative- but they might not get engaged

Nottoobadyet

Just a thought - maybe MIL wasnt asked to pass on the request for money, but knew that SIL and her OH were having some money problems and put two and two together? Still a bit cheeky really, but just MIL's, not SIL's if that's the case.