Advice please

Tulip09

LMAO Witchfinder ; that is not even close to a rant.

Kimitatsu

OP - you can go to www.entitledto.co.uk and put in both sceanrios, that will tell you how much you may be entitled to.

You can also ring the CAB and ask for a "better off calculation" that will tell you how much you will be eligible for. As you would be moving house, it would be unreasonable to expect you to commute that distance, so there should be no reason why you could not claim benefits.

merlin68

He should just be able to claim carers allowance and go on her claim.

AnxiousMum

Surprised there has been no mention of child maintenance from the father. It is the children's RIGHT to be properly maintained by both parents, not just the one who chooses to be in their life if that is the case. Even with him being overseas, there are excellent procedures in place to ensure a NRP overseas (in many countries) provides financial support for their children. Much to my ex's disgust, I have had fantastic service from it, and my one child who is still entitled to it, is now financially supported by both of his parents.

You will, just by marrying their mother, become somewhat financially responsible for her and the children. I would like to think that loving someone and wanting to be their partner for the rest of your lives would be more important than the pride - though that can be a hard thing for her to overcome in a second marriage. If her past relationship had any issues over money problems - be prepared for it to be a big hurdle for her to get over - and best of luck to you both

Oldernotwiser

Mightn't it be a good idea to wait until Christmas Day to see whether she accepts your proposal of marriage?

posting.id

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Mightn't it be a good idea to wait until Christmas Day to see whether she accepts your proposal of marriage?

I can see your point, thanks for the comment however i did mention why i was asking in my first post. She will say yes this time, i have very little doubt about it, but i wanted to make sure i have relevant information to address any fears she may have again about financial matters.

Anxious Mum - there will be no child support and no contact with her ex at all for everyones safety. He could be dead and she or the kids would not know and i think its actually better that way. I will take on the role as much as i can. I have a brilliant relationship with all of them. The government are aware of his last known contact address 11 years ago, so if they wish to get child support etc they could proberly trace him from that.I have never been a dad, so it will be all a steep learning curve but i am looking forward to it. There was lots of money issues in her previous marriage, she and her family had enough and he didnt, so he conned them and took most of it. Left them in quite a mess for a long time. But i understand about pride and the fact she is scared to go to that sort of place again, hence my post here so i can start being pro active in calming any worries for her. Thanks for the good wishes.

Tulip09 - I have grey hair already so a few more will hopefully go unnoticed. (I hope) and you do sound a little like her i guess, she doesnt like to ask for help, and is very independant and stubborn (too much so sometimes)

Kimitasu - Thanks for the help, i will hopefully be able to get an appointment with the CAB in January, and thanks again for the link.

Thanks for all the advice here and in pm anyway. Hopefully everything will work out great in the end and i wont get sanctioned and it will be as easy as just getting added to her claim, and not having to struggle for months with no income while they re visit her/our claim.

mitch161

OP before concidering full unemployment due to distance of work. does your employer have other regional offices/ buildings to stay within the company but closer? moves like this are far more easy to achieve then resigning and trying to find another job from scratch,

also depending on the work type is there a competitor / similar industry in the area your future :Dsoulmate:D lives?

check with work colleagues if they have ever contacted/ got friendly with similar industries in other area's of the country. or before you make that final walk over the threshold try to look for work near her.

it is a struggle after resigning to explain away why resign, why not be organised to seek work while in work..
employers see resignations as unorganised, going AWOL, someone that may change mind at moments notice.
but looking for a new job while walking avoids those questioning and the interview is just about showing off what benefits you can bring the new company. no point taking one step back by resigning as it takes 2 steps to move forward.

job swap/ regional change is easier.
hope this helps

also with eldest daughter going college she will get EMA and so she wont b asking for pocket money from mum as much. so thats one child less to worry about financially.

dont stress over the financials. ud be surprised these days what you can live on in worse case scenarios. just try protecting your futures against worse case scenarios by preparing (as i see you have already begun)

your wifes financials shouldnt be hit that much. the £30 saving from eldest daughter a week she not have to pay would counter act a change in rent due to income change.

and if you are working then you can then get more tax credits. as you said you were not a father. but will be. so thats a potential bonus.

prepare for the financials, but dont let them take over your every thought. concentrate on the happiness of waking up beside the woman you love each day and the many christmases to come

good luck

P.S any resignation is deemed as voluntary. i resigned under protest due to harrassment and currently filing a constructive dismissal claim. but JSA still see it as a voluntary resignation (so far) and sanctioned me for 26 weeks.

seriously seek colleague advice and competitor contacts local to future wife for employment. JSA is a headache. it might be better if she is on the mobility ratings then if out of a job claim as a full time carer. and seek employment privately.

JSA is so tight at categorising people its more of a hinderence then help. and employers would rather see a career break of 6 months to care for someone then 6 months of JSA on your C.V.

JSA is more trouble then help. they are just tick box guys and come with too many warnings. but if you can get straight into a more local job or live on carers allowance. then you are free to search for the ultimate career you want rather then just the limited categories they choose. and your not forced to apply for inappropriate jobs.