need advice no sign of the money MIL owes me HELP!!!

youngmummy

hi all
hope you are all ok.
i have a quick question to ask.... my partners parents borrowed £2000 about 12 months ago to pay some of there depts off .... well about 3 months after borrowing the money they refitted there bathroom with new shower, shower enclousure, completely tiled throughout new sink ect. anyway we're still waiting for the money back i originally said they can pay me back when they have the money or any spare but i kinda feel like they have took the p** .... they were absolutly skint thats why when they asked for the money i lent it them.... and i havent seen 1 penny since but they can soon refit a bathroom ...... what should i do ????? i was going to give them till end of next year to see what happens but dont know weather i should wait till then as we are really struggling ourselves and because aparently atm they dont have any money too pay us back (not even a few quid) we have had to take out a LOAN for some unexpected expenses ..... OMG im sooo stressed i dont know what to do please help .....

cheepskate_2

If you ever give a loan of money, never say pay me back when you can as some people dont have the same ethics as other when it comes to paying it back, always give a date or payment per week/month type thing.

This is for your oh to speak to them, and tell them plainly they will start to pay back xxx amount weekly or they need to get a loan to pay you back.

I would be fuming, not about not paying you back already, but about them openly getting work done and thinking that comes before their loan.

Parva

You're a bit up the creek with no paddle on this one. Much as I hate to say it (having sorta been there) your fella is the link to the people that owe money and he really should be dealing with this himself.

onlyroz

Don't see what you can do, other than having a word to say how upset you are, if you don't have a written agreement. My mum leant my brother £20k to put towards his house, to be paid back "some time" - don't think he's paid back a penny, but him and his wife have both had new cars since...

victor2

Probably just have to write it off unfortunately. If you were planning to give them Christmas presents, don't. Just say that you're broke and having to cut back. Make sure OH is in on this though. He'll be stuck between the proverbial rock and a hard place, and if he has any love for you, it's not worth damaging your relationship over.

Alias_Omega

You have to be blunt and ask them where it is.

Nothing personal, just money.

patchwork_cat

Sorry a little off topic, but and this is impertinent. I note from your sig that you have £68 in sealed pot, but owe £65 to the catalogue. If this is at usual catalogue interest rates then it would be better to use your £68 to pay this off, if it is interest free then obviously not if you have your sealed pot anywhere with interest, unless ofcourse it literally is a sealed pot! sorry cheeky i know.

gingin_2

If you've not asked for some or all of it back, you don't know what their reaction will be. You might be pleasantly surprised. They don't know you have had to take out a loan for the money, so you can't be stressed at them for that.

I'd get yorself very calm and approach it in a friendly manner. Just say that you planning on saving for something/ wanting to pay off debts and were trying to organise finances and wondered if you could count on the money you gave to them to put towards it. Have a pen and paper "handy" in your bag and then you can pull it out and hopefully work out some sort of repayment. Not as a contract, but just calculations of what they can afford each month and then at least you have something physical to show they are commited, even if it is just a few sums on a scrap of paper.

I really think your success is going to depend on how you approach it - so go in there with a positive manner and hopefully they should respond in a similar way.

paddy's_mum

I'd be asking my partner whether his parents have spent most of his life overspending, existing on loans and cadged money, being in debt and generally just being financially clueless. If they have, then you can only ask politely for some idea of when they plan to start repaying.

If this is a one-off due to some outrageous bad luck, I would assume that the 'in-laws' would be bending over backwards to repay you. I'd bet money that if their priority is a stylish new bathroom, you might have a long wait.

You can learn from this experience though - maybe your lesson should be that they are not to be trusted, you can't rely on them and their priority will always be themselves. Never lend so much as a paintbrush to them again.

I take it you are looking very closely at your partner's ways with money to be sure in your own mind that he hasn't inherited his parents same lack of financial commonsense?

pinkshoes

The expression "Never lend what you can't afford to lose" springs to mind... (and definitely never lend to family!)

Were you actually anticipating getting this money back?

Just tell your OH to speak to his parents, immediately tell them you NEED the money back, and arrange a payment plan with them (say £200/month). If he's not comfortable doing this, then you should just write off the debt.

RAS

And if the partner is not prepared to get the money off his parents, ditch them all.