Summer Solstice Sensation

lessonlearned

Hi Everyone

Just a had a marathon meeting with OH's social services care manager. It lasted for nearly two hours and I'm exhausted, splitting headache.

I don't know whether I got through to him or not because all I got from him was "I need to discuss this with my manager" If he's not allowed to make decisions why bother sending him :mad: He just seem to spend all his time ticking boxes and writing notes.

I was very polite but this time very, very firm. I even managed to hold back my tears (most of the time). I wasn't sure if he was truly grasping the severity of the situation and how OH's condition can change so rapidly. He said it had only been eight weeks since he visited last, I explained that it took only two days from OH being able to eat independently to being spoon fed. Poor OH it must have been so humiliating for him to have to listen to him haggle over more care hours but I just don't know what else I can do.

The guy was still very reticent about respite care. I pointed out that in the last 2.5 years I haven't had a day off/holiday etc, that I'm nearly 60 and I am not as physically strong as I was, that even carers who are 30/40 years younger than me are struggling. For good measure I added that my own health is suffering, that I have to have physio and that if I'm not careful they'll end up having to pay for carers for me as well.:eek:

I came straight out and asked the question, given that my OH needs 24/7 care, two person handling etc, cannot be left alone, what would happen if he were a single man with no family. The poor man squirmed.:o I repeated the question twice more (worded slightly differently) and in the end he was forced to admit OH would be in a residential home by now.

I felt such a heel but really felt I had no choice but to try and hammer it home. I want OH here as long as possible and he is desperate to stay at home - but what they expect from spouses/partners is inhuman.

The meeting was held with OH present - so I was forced to play down the mental/cognative changes etc. However, when I escorted the man back to his car I pointed out OH was clearly showing signs of early dementia and the guy had the nerve to disagree with me.:mad: I had to tell him that all of our consultants/medics etc had warned that this was an inevitable part of OH's decline. I hope he added that to his notes.

OMG what a rant!!! Sorry:o - but it does help me to let off steam.

Anyway I've taken some painkillers for the headache - starting to work now. Going to sit in the sun with OH and watch the world go by. That gin bottle and DS2's birthday chocolates are looking very tempting.:rotfl:

Will try and exercise later. Need to try and work off some of that stress.

Bye for now. x

maman

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

OMG!!! do you deserve these LL!!! I've been in so many meetings with SS when the 'person concerned' has been present and you have to be tactful and bite your tongue. I understand why they do it but it can be so difficult to take a 'gloves off' approach. I must admit to smiling at the 'I'm nearly 60' bit. Perhaps you should not be trying to look so fab!! (joking OF COURSE!!!) The guy you dealt with did sound a bit wimpy but hopefully he'll go back with the right message and you'll get a result. Maybe more fighting will be called for but my money's on you to be up for it if needed!

Thank you for your kind words about allowing to be a bit down. I think I may have had a bit of a summer cold coming which I seem to have fought off. I spent all day feeling cold on Wednesday, really cold to the point of hugging a hot water bottle in the evening. I feel better now but I'm not sure whether that's sun related or what, maybe I'm just a SAD person.

Off in the morning to spend weekend with my friend. We're going to a matinee at the lovely little theatre in Guildford and then back to them for dinner/staying over.

I think I've resigned myself to the fact that this last bit of my weightloss is going to be very slow and circuitous. You're right I could take fruit but I don't want to be 'in your face, I'm on a diet' (particularly as my friend is very overweight). I've accepted that this weekend and when I'm on holiday in the next couple of weeks I will put on a few (:eek:) pounds but then when I get back I'll revert to my eating plan and lose them again. I was thinking about it earliier and remembered that when I was this weight years ago I just accepted that I hovered around give or take half a stone depending on what I'd eaten or where I was shopping. I remember saying to a friend back in October I'd be happy with a cheap 14 or a more expensive size 12 and I've achieved that.

Take care LL and :hello: to lurkers and friends.

lessonlearned

Just a quickie to wish you a lovely weekend Maman Hope the weather holds up. Glad to hear your summer chill is better now.

I'm glad you've had time to think about how best to tackle the final stage of your weight loss. I see no harm in taking a break - there's no point in spoiling your holiday or your weekend away for the sake of a few pounds weight gain. Even if you put a few pounds on again you now know how to go about getting back on track and continuing your weight loss journey.

I had a friend who did the same thing - she lost about 4 stones and was about a stone off her target. She went on holiday and gained about 7lbs. As soon as she got back she went straight back to her slimming classes and went on to reach her target. It took a while but she did it. I'm sure you'll be fine. Enjoy!!!

Remember the old saying about as you get older you sometimes need to make a choice. Hips or face - meaning if you go too low your body might look great but your face might look drawn and haggard. Sometimes we ladies of a certain age benefit from a little bit of face plumping. Size 12/14 sounds good to me.

Didn't get round to exercising - just felt so drained but did manage to mow the lawn so not all bad news.

OH and I had a good giggle this afternoon. We were talking about how the meeting with SS had gone and OH said that the way I launched into the SS guy made him feel like he was watching Jeremy Paxman grilling some sleazy politician.:rotfl: Poor man I did rather let him have both barrels.:o

Have a fab weekend everyone - hope the weather holds. x

top_drawer_2

lessonlearned wrote: »

Hi Everyone

Just a had a marathon meeting with OH's social services care manager. It lasted for nearly two hours and I'm exhausted, splitting headache.

I don't know whether I got through to him or not because all I got from him was "I need to discuss this with my manager" If he's not allowed to make decisions why bother sending him :mad: He just seem to spend all his time ticking boxes and writing notes.

I was very polite but this time very, very firm. I even managed to hold back my tears (most of the time). I wasn't sure if he was truly grasping the severity of the situation and how OH's condition can change so rapidly. He said it had only been eight weeks since he visited last, I explained that it took only two days from OH being able to eat independently to being spoon fed. Poor OH it must have been so humiliating for him to have to listen to him haggle over more care hours but I just don't know what else I can do.

The guy was still very reticent about respite care. I pointed out that in the last 2.5 years I haven't had a day off/holiday etc, that I'm nearly 60 and I am not as physically strong as I was, that even carers who are 30/40 years younger than me are struggling. For good measure I added that my own health is suffering, that I have to have physio and that if I'm not careful they'll end up having to pay for carers for me as well.:eek:

I came straight out and asked the question, given that my OH needs 24/7 care, two person handling etc, cannot be left alone, what would happen if he were a single man with no family. The poor man squirmed.:o I repeated the question twice more (worded slightly differently) and in the end he was forced to admit OH would be in a residential home by now.

I felt such a heel but really felt I had no choice but to try and hammer it home. I want OH here as long as possible and he is desperate to stay at home - but what they expect from spouses/partners is inhuman.

The meeting was held with OH present - so I was forced to play down the mental/cognative changes etc. However, when I escorted the man back to his car I pointed out OH was clearly showing signs of early dementia and the guy had the nerve to disagree with me.:mad: I had to tell him that all of our consultants/medics etc had warned that this was an inevitable part of OH's decline. I hope he added that to his notes.

OMG what a rant!!! Sorry:o - but it does help me to let off steam.

Anyway I've taken some painkillers for the headache - starting to work now. Going to sit in the sun with OH and watch the world go by. That gin bottle and DS2's birthday chocolates are looking very tempting.:rotfl:

Will try and exercise later. Need to try and work off some of that stress.

Bye for now. x

I'm so sorry you are going through that, its really is appalling what they are willing to save money on.

Jen

lessonlearned

Hello Everyone

Hi Jen - Thank you for those kind supportive words. Never mind - like Maman said - I'll just have to keep hammering away at them.

I'll see how we go and if things don't pick up I'll have a good chat with our GP. He's known us for years and is well appraised of OH's condition. Anyway it was good to hear from you again - not heard from you for a while - hope you are well and all is ok.

A bit of a funny day - oddly enough not sleeping very well (wonder why ha ha) and really tired and lethargic - also rather tetchy too. Blew up this morning over nothing, poor OH got the brunt of it and then I ended up feeling horribly guilty.

I'm generally usually fairly easy going and even tempered - unfortunately when I do blow it's like a volcano erupting.:eek: I guess I've been simmering ever since yesterday.:o

Had a lovely massage this afternoon - eased my aches and pains a bit and seems to have soothed my frazzled nerves. Did a pile of ironing.

After that was so tired couldn't be bothered to cook so had a fish and chip supper.

I know it's "only" stress but over the last day or two I've had the most dreadful attack of the munchies. I've really struggled to eat sensibly so probably not doing very well with the old WW. I've wanted to hoover up anything remotely edible - I've even been eating bread - do hope I don't pay the price. It's been a real battle. So far DS2's choccies have been safe.;)

No exercise today
Today's treatment - a deep cleansing face mask

Caught the sun a bit yesterday so at least I don't look as pale and as washed out as I feel.


G'night all x

top_drawer_2

lessonlearned wrote: »

Hello Everyone

Hi Jen - Thank you for those kind supportive words. Never mind - like Maman said - I'll just have to keep hammering away at them.

I'll see how we go and if things don't pick up I'll have a good chat with our GP. He's known us for years and is well appraised of OH's condition. Anyway it was good to hear from you again - not heard from you for a while - hope you are well and all is ok.

A bit of a funny day - oddly enough not sleeping very well (wonder why ha ha) and really tired and lethargic - also rather tetchy too. Blew up this morning over nothing, poor OH got the brunt of it and then I ended up feeling horribly guilty.

I'm generally usually fairly easy going and even tempered - unfortunately when I do blow it's like a volcano erupting.:eek: I guess I've been simmering ever since yesterday.:o

Had a lovely massage this afternoon - eased my aches and pains a bit and seems to have soothed my frazzled nerves. Did a pile of ironing.

After that was so tired couldn't be bothered to cook so had a fish and chip supper.

I know it's "only" stress but over the last day or two I've had the most dreadful attack of the munchies. I've really struggled to eat sensibly so probably not doing very well with the old WW. I've wanted to hoover up anything remotely edible - I've even been eating bread - do hope I don't pay the price. It's been a real battle. So far DS2's choccies have been safe.;)

No exercise today
Today's treatment - a deep cleansing face mask

Caught the sun a bit yesterday so at least I don't look as pale and as washed out as I feel.


G'night all x

I know how it is, my sis has downs syndrome thankfully she isnt too affected by health issues but for awhile my Mum and Step-dad received no help at all with her so it was constant and as she has got older she has come more and more into conflict with them (typical teenager really :mad:) She gets respite now and outings which have been an amazing help because she has that time away from the family and gets some independance.

I've been suffering a bit with stress as I am STILL job hunting and wasnt having much luck so all I seemed to want to do was eat sweet things - I hope the warmer weather will discourage this and things do seem to seem to be looking up. I've also started my half hour a day thing again - just spending 30 minutes a day doing something towards making myself look better really does help my confidence.
All the best
Jen

maman

Hello Jen, I don't think we've 'met' before. Good to hear from you. You're 30 minutes idea sounds good. As well as the 'fab' benefits, it gives some me time and relaxation.

I'm back from staying with friends. We had a pub lunch, theatre was good (matinee) then we watched England game (enough said) and then we had dinner and and food wasn't as 'bad' as I feared. We had barbecue and salads and strawberries/raspberries/cherries. So, some oil in marinade and I must confess to a few crisps during football and a tiny canape sized meat pie. Copious amounts of alcohol and bread with bacon rolls this morning and steak sandwich in pub but so what?? I'll be back on it 100% for the next few days (well almost as I am out on Tuesday evening) and shouldn't have gained too much by WI on Thursday. I don't want to get obsessive. I think your friend's approach to holidays will suit me very well. It will only become a lifestyle change if I can fit it into my lifestyle!

I'm glad OH appreciated you attacking SS on his behalf! Hopefully you will soon be over the stress and the accompanying munchies! Must go and sort out a healthy dinner!

lessonlearned

Hi Everyone

Hi Maman Your weekend sounded good - barbies and salads and berries are very healthy - bacon butties mmmmmmmm - drool:p TBH it sounds as if you didn't do too badly. How much alcohol is a copious amount:rotfl::rotfl: or is it better not to ask.;)

Sorry to hear about your sis Jen - very difficult for you all, especially for your parents. It's good that she doesn't have too many health issues to contend with.

Also sorry to hear that the job hunting isn't very fruitful. What can we say - it's very tough out there at the moment. I guess you just have to keep at it and play a long game. Recessions don't last for ever - surely things will turn around one of these days. It must be very stressful though.

I suppose the best thing to do is to try and keep busy - hobbies, projects, volunteering, getting out and about as much as possible.

I agree - your 30 mins a day is a great idea. Everyone needs a little me time, whether it's a bit of pampering, exercising or just taking a bit of time out. I try to do a little something - don't always manage it every day. Whilst OH watched the golf this afternoon - I had a little interlude curled up on the sofa with a book. Bliss.

Anyway today was pretty good - further decluttering and cupboard re-organising. Even got DS2 to make a start on his room.;) Two bags of really old clothes for rags, one for charity shop, 3 bags of books.

Kitchen cupboards all decluttered now so have just about made my May target to organise the kitchen. Still not painted picture frames yet or ordered posters etc and didn't manage to meet my friend for lunch. Will have to add those to June's target (declutter and re-organise bedrooms - already under way).

Anyway off to bed now. x

MrsWoolfe

Hello Ladies and Lurkers!

Just a quick one to say "hi!" and say I'm home safe and sound...ish I do have a sore ankle having discovered the hard way that Marble Steps and heavy rain are a Very Bad Thing:mad:...but at least nothing was broken and things are healing up nicely- although it will probably be 4-8weeks before it heals up properly....and at least it didn't happen at the start- we'd been to most of the places we really wanted to see so not too bad all in all.

Thanks for the birthday wishes, we had a great time and although most of my birthday was spent travelling we did manage a couple of birthday cocktails once we got there- and DH treated me to a sunset cruise which was lovely:D

haven't had a chance to catch up with all of the posts quite yet, but did see LL's post about the meeting with SS- I bet you had him shaking on the inside LL fingers crossed that you get the support you need, just makes me cross that you have to fight so hard to get it...but I'll leave that rant before it starts I think....

have not done a lot since we got back other than rest up my ankle- DH is being very strict with me:o but was pleased that despite the fact that I decided to just eat what I wanted whilst away- I did not put anything on at all- I do think that my tastebuds and attitude has changed completely though- as looking back I made pretty healthy choices througout, but more because it was what I actually wanted to eat- also didn't eat processed bread whilst out there- as we got freshly baked bread every morning and that was the only bread we really ate- on getting back succumbed to a burger from a well-known chain- mistake tasted horrid, and left my stomach cramping and rolling urgh the next day had a shop bought sandwich- again same reaction- I think there is definately something to be said for reducing the amount of processed, starchy carbs we eat as DH also noticed the difference- we still ate potatoes etc but much smaller portions as there was so much freah veg, salad etc etc...food for thought!

right must dash (or hobble as it were- but I'm getting faster every day:D) but will try and catch up and post again soon!

Hope you are all doing well!

MrsWoolfe

lessonlearned

Hello Everyone

Welcome home Mrs W Glad you had a good holiday and it's good that your ankle isn't broken. Take care and rest up.

I think you are right about the processed carbs - I feel much better when I avoid them, my stomach is awful when I do succumb.

Another busy day here - must tell you about my CS bargains

Took the bags of books to the YMCA - the two volunteers (young lads) were dead chuffed because most of the books were my DS1's - fantasy/science fiction stuff - real nerdy stuff. These boys were delighted - not sure if the books will actually make it onto the shelves. :rotfl: Nerds of the world unite.!!!

Anyway had a mooch round and picked up a beautiful black leather clutch bag for the princely sum of £0-50. They must have been undated with clothing donations because they were doing a "Fill a bag for £1" promotion.

Picked up two pairs of white cropped trousers, three summer mini dresses :eek: oo-er missus not with my legs. I will wear them over said cropped trousers, and a pretty little shirt for my niece. Really nice things too, all well looked after and nicely washed - always a good sign. (I will of course wash them myself). Fill yer boots, as they say.

Told you I believed in good karma>:D

Anyway DS1 coming home tonight with his first load of stuff for us to store. He'll be sleeping here so will be cooking a specially nice dinner - salmon steaks with chilli sauce, some woopsied asparagus, mixed peppers.

Really pleased with myself today - shopped locally again, two huge bags of fresh fruit and veg, yoghurts, and some cooked meat. £10 the lot - including the £1-50 at the YMCA.

No bike today - feeling very uncomfortable (thrush) :eek:

Off to finish cleaning DS1's room (it gets used as a dumping ground when he's away). Water plants, cook dinner, then relax with my boys.

Bye for now x