Colleague issue

blue_monkey_2

Any update gwen?

zzzLazyDaisy

Gwen, I hope your silence means that you have been able to resolve the issues, or at least put things behind you and move on.

But if you need more information and/or support, may I suggest that you start a new thread? This one is very long and went off topic (as long threads often do...).

If you post a link on this thread, we will find you, and hopefully we'll be be able to keep things on track!

With best wishes

Daisy

Sambucus_Nigra

She posted on a different thread that she couldn't read this one any more; so she might not see this anyway.

Hopefully, things are ok with her.

gwen80

Hello

The nightmare is finally over and I thought I'd update this thread. I withdrew from the thread because I was feeling very delicate and was struggling enough with events in real life without being upset by comments on the internet aswell. However, I'd like to document the outcome of the situation here in case it helps anybody else and as a Thankyou to everybody here who supported me.

I appealed the outcome of the first investigation. I wrote the best appeal I could under the circumstances and I think it was fairly strong. An appeal manager was appointed and he went through all the evidence afresh. He wrote a report and found that there was a case to answer for the inappropriate emails and the indecent exposure.

The guy in question resigned prior to the disciplinary procedure for the indecent exposure and his part in the inappropriate emails. I had a disciplinary meeting for my part in the inappropriate emails. Both investigation reports were clear that I hadn't instigated the emails, nor had I introduced the inappropriate content. I attended a disciplinary interview for 'participating' (i.e. replying) and because I swore twice in my replies. I had my interview last week where I was asked questions about the emails and it was recommended that I receive informal guidance about how to deal with this situation if it were to arise again.

The guy denied the indecent exposure to the police and as there were no witnesses, I've been told the CPS won't take it forward. I don't regret going to the police. God forbid he does anything again and at least this incident is already reported.

So the whole ordeal is over. Having gone through this experience, I wanted to give a few tips to anybody who might find themselves in this situation:

1. Harassment can and does escalate - don't assume it won't.

2. Join a union.

3. Challenge the behaviour in writing and keep a record. Explain what the behaviour is and that you find it offensive/humiliating/intimidating and you want it to stop immediately.

I'll soon be changing my username to protect my anonymity, but I will be leaving this thread in place. Before I started this thread, I googled trying to find other stories of situations like this and couldn't find very much at all. I'll leave this here should it prove useful to anybody who finds themselves in this kind of situation in the future.

Thankyou to all those who supported me :A

Gwenx

GEEGEE8

Well done for standing up for what is right. I strongly believe that we should always do that otherwise losers like your colleague will get away with it forever.

He not only exposed himself and sent silly messages, but the worst part is he ruined your friendship and caused you so much distress in working out what to do for the best.

Idiots like him just count on people not bothering to report it, let's hope he's learnt his lesson!

zzzLazyDaisy

Hi Gwen

Thanks for coming back and updating this thread. It is very much appreciated.

I am very pleased to hear that your appeal was successful in the sense that your employer decided to act on the evidence, and to conduct a proper investigation.

I hope also that the informal guidance on how to deal with this sort of thing, should such a similar situation arise in the future, will be useful and given in a supportive manner.

Good luck!

Daisy

DVardysShadow

gwen80 wrote: »

... I wanted to give a few tips to anybody who might find themselves in this situation:

1. Harassment can and does escalate - don't assume it won't.

2. Join a union.

3. Challenge the behaviour in writing and keep a record. Explain what the behaviour is and that you find it offensive/humiliating/intimidating and you want it to stop immediately.

I'll soon be changing my username to protect my anonymity, but I will be leaving this thread in place. Before I started this thread, I googled trying to find other stories of situations like this and couldn't find very much at all. I'll leave this here should it prove useful to anybody who finds themselves in this kind of situation in the future.

Presumably tip 4 is if you are a longstanding user here, with a problem like this, open a new user id to post about the problem.

It must be a bit of a wrench to leave an ID behind and have all the people who knew you before not recognise you any more.

Sambucus_Nigra

Nice one Gwen.

It just shows that you need to appeal these things and stand up for yourself, doesn't it?

ceridwen

gwen80 wrote: »

Hello

The nightmare is finally over and I thought I'd update this thread. I withdrew from the thread because I was feeling very delicate and was struggling enough with events in real life without being upset by comments on the internet aswell. However, I'd like to document the outcome of the situation here in case it helps anybody else and as a Thankyou to everybody here who supported me.

I appealed the outcome of the first investigation. I wrote the best appeal I could under the circumstances and I think it was fairly strong. An appeal manager was appointed and he went through all the evidence afresh. He wrote a report and found that there was a case to answer for the inappropriate emails and the indecent exposure.

The guy in question resigned prior to the disciplinary procedure for the indecent exposure and his part in the inappropriate emails. I had a disciplinary meeting for my part in the inappropriate emails. Both investigation reports were clear that I hadn't instigated the emails, nor had I introduced the inappropriate content. I attended a disciplinary interview for 'participating' (i.e. replying) and because I swore twice in my replies. I had my interview last week where I was asked questions about the emails and it was recommended that I receive informal guidance about how to deal with this situation if it were to arise again.

The guy denied the indecent exposure to the police and as there were no witnesses, I've been told the CPS won't take it forward. I don't regret going to the police. God forbid he does anything again and at least this incident is already reported.

So the whole ordeal is over. Having gone through this experience, I wanted to give a few tips to anybody who might find themselves in this situation:

1. Harassment can and does escalate - don't assume it won't.

2. Join a union.

3. Challenge the behaviour in writing and keep a record. Explain what the behaviour is and that you find it offensive/humiliating/intimidating and you want it to stop immediately.

I'll soon be changing my username to protect my anonymity, but I will be leaving this thread in place. Before I started this thread, I googled trying to find other stories of situations like this and couldn't find very much at all. I'll leave this here should it prove useful to anybody who finds themselves in this kind of situation in the future.

Thankyou to all those who supported me :A

Gwenx

Thank you for the update Gwen.

I have been wondering how you were getting on....

To me - the outcome sounds pretty positive actually overall . Your colleague is no longer in place - so you are clear of the risk of any further harassment. Also - hopefully - he has had enough of a shock that he wont repeat such behaviour.

I would actually say this is pretty much a "Win" situation from where I am standing.

I am glad to hear it has been suitably resolved.:T

MatyMoo

I am so glad this ordeal is over for you Gwen and it is a win for you, not that you ever wanted to have to go through it in the first place.

Interesting that he resigned too!

I hope that you NEVER have to use the guidance you have been given as going through this once is more than enough IYSWIM!