Colleague issue

ceridwen

MissDelilah wrote: »

As to me, and I mean it now, this is my last comment on this.

Now I know where the phrase "Famous last words" comes from.

Subsequent to that comment in post no 439 - MissDelilah has made a further 7 posts.:rotfl::rotfl:

EDIT: Hang on a minute - lets have a recount - theres been more...

BARGAINHUNTER!

"As to me, and I mean it now, this is my last comment on this."

So this has proved she is a liar as she has posted further comments on this threat after that comment.

When will people learn to leave quietly? lol

BAILEYS6904

MissDelilah wrote: »

I didn't ever claim to be a LE or qualified to give legal advice, my colleague however I did offer his professional views.

By all means ask his name and I will PM it to you and you may email him if you so wish.

Did you not say about 10 posts ago, that you'd had ur last comment??? Shame your knack of telling the truth is as reliable as your legal knowledge.

Nicki

Just to stick my head over the parapet for a moment, but the biatching at Miss Delilah is rather drowning out Gwen's continuing issue. I didn't like Miss D's posts earlier today either, but I do respect her for coming back and admitting that she had gone too far. Maybe now its time to stop burning her at the stake.

Gwen, how on earth did you manage to get sight of the interview notes of his HR meeting? Surely they didn't hand them over to you? That seems very unprofessional. I can't see anything contradictory though in what you have posted. Is he facing another disciplinary process in relation to the emails, or has that been dealt with this time? Do you know what the outcome of that part of the hearing is?

As for your disciplinary, is there a formal written procedure and have they followed it? Do you have someone who can accompany you to the hearing? If not, can you find someone you trust to look at all the emails and give you an honest assessment of how you come across in them? That might help you prepare for the disciplinary better.

Have you given any thought as to where you go from here? As the personnel officer posted, it's not really reasonable for them to expect you both to work in the same open plan office on the same projects from now on. Have you raised this with HR and how do they plan to deal with it? Whilst its disappointing that HR haven't found a case to answer on the exposure, there are still issues to be resolved here, so don't lose heart and give up until they are all dealt with.

AnnaV

MissDelilah wrote: »

I am a legal executive about to undertake her 2nd year of training - I don't feel the need to throw this comment about on the boards. Some people get confused by what this means, what I study etc. As I don't specialise in employment law I don't feel the need to quote it - but my colleague DOES specialise in that area, hence the need for me to quote his views and not mine.

Actually - I had one man today ask me questions about immigration law and I quoted to him on BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

Sorry I dropped off for a moment there, you were saying?

Sambucus_Nigra

Miss Delilah - please can you give it a rest. It's very dull trying to wade through your posts to try and get to what Gwen is actually posting. Thanks.

ETA: Actually - if you are on ignore, then it becomes very easy. Should have thought of that.

gwen80

Nicki wrote: »

Just to stick my head over the parapet for a moment, but the biatching at Miss Delilah is rather drowning out Gwen's continuing issue. I didn't like Miss D's posts earlier today either, but I do respect her for coming back and admitting that she had gone too far. Maybe now its time to stop burning her at the stake.

Gwen, how on earth did you manage to get sight of the interview notes of his HR meeting? Surely they didn't hand them over to you? That seems very unprofessional. I can't see anything contradictory though in what you have posted. Is he facing another disciplinary process in relation to the emails, or has that been dealt with this time? Do you know what the outcome of that part of the hearing is?

As for your disciplinary, is there a formal written procedure and have they followed it? Do you have someone who can accompany you to the hearing? If not, can you find someone you trust to look at all the emails and give you an honest assessment of how you come across in them? That might help you prepare for the disciplinary better.

Have you given any thought as to where you go from here? As the personnel officer posted, it's not really reasonable for them to expect you both to work in the same open plan office on the same projects from now on. Have you raised this with HR and how do they plan to deal with it? Whilst its disappointing that HR haven't found a case to answer on the exposure, there are still issues to be resolved here, so don't lose heart and give up until they are all dealt with.

They emailed them to me. I assume mine will be sent to him.

He categorically denies it, then says it could have happened, but it was unintentional. How can you categorically deny it, then later say it could have happened? Surely either it could have happened, or it couldn't.

There is also a whole section of interview notes missing from his interview. Cynical, me?

The disciplinary hearing has not taken place yet. He was accompanied by his previous manager (no longer works in this department, but used to).

From what has been said it sounds like I may have to work in the same office as him. How do I feel safe at work?? How do I feel safe working anywhere? Do I have to carry a camera with me? Can I no longer be alone with a man without a witness?

Gwen

BAILEYS6904

Miss D

I used to work in a county court, assisting the judge. Doesnt make me a legal eagle. I made him coffee and sorted his paperwork. Probably much the same as you spend your day.

However, one thing I did learn was the way you put your argument forward can influence the decision greatly. Your prove that point, just maybe not in your favour.

Gwen, I dont there are many women that havent had to deal with some undesired attention, but my God, thankfully, there arent many that have had it to the extent that you have. This may all boil down to proof, if it doesn't fall in your favour, thats not because you have done wrong, acted incorrectly or anything else that can be attributed to you.

The guy got his winkie out in an openplan office. He has inappropriately touched at least 2 other women. God knows how he has acted to women that, like you were tempted, have just left the job and avoided the conflict.

Decent men know boundarys. He is not a decent man.

Please try not to over analyse or over think things, as it seems you tend to do, starting doubting yourself or questionnng yourself. Having read this thread from start to finish, You have acted bravely and extremely reasonably. In fact, you seemed reluctant start this whole rotten process off, until people pointed out that he really should not be in contact with vulnerable women, if this is the way he chooses to act.

Keep your chin up, whatever happens xx

AnnaV

MissDelilah wrote: »

And yes, use your ignore button.

Ignored

Nicki

Sorry Gwen, I am being dense I'm sure. When you say the disciplinary hearing hasn't taken place yet, what do you mean? I know yours hasn't, but are you saying that his hasn't either, and that what happened today was just a preliminary to this? In which case, it seems an odd procedure to follow but also that no final decision has been taken.

I really think you need to sit down with HR and have a frank chat about how you feel and how confused you are by the whole process. I can't see how they could expect you to work with him again. Have they definitely said that you do have to or are you getting ahead of yourself here? It is clearly a very worrying and stressful time but HR don't seem to be helping much by keeping you in the loop. Could you consider taking a few days off work to get your head clear, and work out where to go from here?