Estate agents and capital letters - just irks me

googler

Orpheo wrote: »

Because EAs are generally illiterate numpties. ......
One local EA where I live has taken to starting any property particulars with emotive and pretentious statements such as:

"One In A Million!" etc etc

How does this differ from illiterates in other walks of life? The grocer who advertises "Apple's" and "Pear's"? The Indian restuarant offering "Bhaji's" and "Pakora's"?

Guinness advertise Beer with wild horses surfing, and currently with lumberjacks raising a forest of Xmas trees at the press of a button. M&S advertise themselves with a stylised Xmas scene with various dance scenes emulating West Side Story and other musicals.

Pretentious? Moi?

mostlycheerful

B&T : “I've never heard of Jafaker so I'd be grateful if you could explain what that night be, in case I'm guilty of using it.”

It’s pseudo Jamaican speak, often with a false accent and including bits of Jamaican patois such as “yeah man”, “lickle” and various exclamations, generally done by both black English and white English people, mostly of ages 12 to 25 but also some people in their 30s and 40s, done as bravado to identify themselves as being cool and “gangsta” and criminal and of the “schtreet”, it’s a type of “gangsta” crime slang.

“Please don't explain at length if you'd be so kind.”

Sure.

“After that diatribe I suspect you could do with a nice lie-down.”

Thanks, but actually the reverse, I’m feeling quite lively and on form and interested in stuff as a result of that so now I’m all warmed up and flowing I’m probably going to do some more work on the books I’m writing. And maybe go for a brisk walk round the lovely huge local park and look at all the lovely snow.

“Do you go off on these sorts of lengthy monologues in real life, too?”

Yes indeed, I’m manic and hyperactive and I talk fast and a lot and if there’s a page in it then why stop at just a sentence. If I’m interested in a subject then I’ll often write a whole mini essay about it, as in this instance. And I hosted a radio talk show a few years ago so, yes, gobbing off is something I like doing a lot. And, yes, I’m aware that most people find it irritating and tedious so mostly I curb it. But here on a forum you can skip to the next comment or to another thread if you don’t like it. Some people here have said they like my writing and the other day I got a big compliment from one of the regulars who said that my long pieces are the only ones she reads cos they’re so good. So sorry if you – and others - don’t like my stuff or long stuff. Yes apologies if it’s irritating but, like I just said, you don’t have to read it. Also some people have slagged me off and said that as soon as they realise it’s me they just skip it - so that’s easily doable if you don’t like it. You don’t have to read it.

Yes, maybe I should put my energies into my books and maybe attempting to be a journalist or just writing my own blog rather than spewing all over MSE. Well, actually, in fact I already do that, for every one piece that I publish here there’s generally about another half a dozen two and three and five pagers that I just write for myself and don’t even bother posting.

“I can see in my mind's eye those particular scenes in the Airplane movie....”

Pardon? Not sure what that’s a reference to. If you’d like to explain I’d be interested to know.

N79

mostlycheerful wrote: »

One that often irritates me is per calendar month. Well, what other kind of month do you think we might be confusing it with? What, non calendar months? So what are they when they're at home? There's only one kind of month, isn't there, and 4 of them are 30 days, one is 28 days or once every 4 years it's 29 days and the rest are 31 days, aren't they. So why on earth say this redundant word calendar all the time? Duh? The rent is monthly, isn't it, and everyone knows that that means that the number of days varies a bit so there's just no need to say it, is there. But loads of them do, mindlessly, stupidly.

The other type of "month" is a lunar month. English tenancy law supports both statutory and common law tenancies with periods of "calendar" months or "lunar" months. There is no automatic default to one type or the other.

Therefore explicitly referring to calendar months is not mindless or stupidity but is, in fact, the mark of an agent that has a better than basic grasp of English tenancy law. All good LLs should ensure that their tenancy agreement clearly defines the tenancy period!

Perhaps an apology to those agents is called for?:D

N79

mostlycheerful wrote: »

Yes, take it further and you get American with loads of English words misspelled and misused. And horrible Americanisms.

By the way, and I hope you take this as tongue in cheek, but Americanism is an Americanism!

mostlycheerful

N79 : “English tenancy law supports both statutory and common law tenancies with periods of "calendar" months or "lunar" months.”

A lunar month tenancy? Oh yeah? So who does them and when? Can you cite any examples? Or is this archaic or so obscure that hardly anyone ever comes across it? As nearly all residential and commercial tenancies are done with “calendar” months there is no need to keep saying the word redundantly.

Re Americanisms, yes, I'm subject to the ongoing change in language and some of the rot. Over the years a lot of rather objectionable phrases have got into my vocabulary, as is the case with most people, and I gave up trying to resist it a long time ago. It's fairly inevitable. Vernacular, slang, new words, foreign nastiness, all of it. It's natural. No point trying to resist it however irritating some of it is. Well, I draw the line at some words and phrases, there are some awful ones that I try not to say, if possible. Yes, "booty" and butt and gotten and such like annoy me for some reason and I really hope I don't start saying them. No, out vile jelly. Be gone.

BitterAndTwisted

mostlycheerful wrote: »

“I can see in my mind's eye those particular scenes in the Airplane movie....”

Pardon? Not sure what that’s a reference to. If you’d like to explain I’d be interested to know.

There's a terminal bore on the plane: one passenger after another does away with themselves in front of him rather than having to listen to any more of his self-absorbed drivel. Naturally, he doesn't notice....

mostlycheerful

B&T : “rather than having to listen”

Oh, so you’re compelled, are you? You just can’t tear yourself away from the irritation, despite wanting to. Ok, sure, whatever matey. Have a nice day. If you can. Or do you in fact enjoy being annoyed? Hate and irritation are quite stimulating emotions, aren’t they. Quite enjoyable. “I’m only happy when I’m angry”. Like the compulsion to look at a car crash. People just can’t look away, can they, a well known phenomenon.

bryanb

mostlycheerful wrote: »

One that often irritates me is per calendar month. Well, what other kind of month do you think we might be confusing it with? What, non calendar months? So what are they when they're at home? There's only one kind of month, isn't there, and 4 of them are 30 days, one is 28 days or once every 4 years it's 29 days and the rest are 31 days, aren't they. So why on earth say this redundant word calendar all the time? Duh? The rent is monthly, isn't it, and everyone knows that that means that the number of days varies a bit so there's just no need to say it, is there. But loads of them do, mindlessly, stupidly.

Well, yes, indeed, there are intelligent people and there are thickies and ignorami. There’s proper English and then there’s estuary and Jafaker, sales-talk and journalese, great terms if ever there were.

And the secondary point about honesty : there’s a few people who are honest and moral and have high standards and are accurate but the majority are just plebs and lie and cheat and thieve compulsively all the time. And are sloppy and slapdash. And, yes, reveal how low quality their mentality and behaviour is via their appalling bent self expression.

And coupled with the inanity is the failure of the workers to check their work or use spell checkers. The lack of self awareness is often surprising. If I was a dunce writing advertising copy then I’d be aware of my lackings and do something about it. And get help. I wouldn’t just put out substandard cack. But these days morons and thugs just happily talk low quality rubbish and show off in the most irritating and ridiculous ways and no one curbs their natural vile idiocy.

Indeed, rubbish people are actually encouraged to assert themselves and boorish behaviour is often rewarded. Standards have been slipping for a long time, since, what, about 1930 or even since Roman times, and surprisingly still haven’t hit the floor, every year it just gets worse and worse with no sign of ever coming to a halt. In the 19th century plebeian self expression wasn’t allowed or tolerated. Indeed, a lot of natural vile behaviour was mostly vigorously suppressed. But these days anything goes. So is it better that we are oppressed by standards and our elders and betters or is it better that we are free and so therefore anything goes and so we are instead oppressed by a tidal wave of ignorant filth and ignorant thick people? It’s still oppression so perhaps it’s not much different really. So which would you prefer, oppression from above or oppression from all around you?

Then also part of the problem is that you get the casual lazy amateur bosses with low standards or no standards who fail to supervise work, edit and subedit it and make corrections. So you get an endless stream of crass inanity. But that’s just how the world is so there’s no point getting irritated by it. Most people are stupid and ignorant and it’s a miracle that many of them can read or write at all. And perhaps it’s worth bearing in mind that a lot of people come from underprivileged backgrounds and many people are foreigners and come from totally illiterate backgrounds with little or no encouragement to read or write. So you just have to note their gross failings but not let it get in the way of achieving your ends. However, I tend to immediately refuse to do business with plebs as soon as they demonstrate their inferiority. Often I’d rather just not bother than have to go through the wretched experience of trying to get sense out of thickies and ignorami and liars and thieves.

This appalling rubbish written by estate agents and various other second rate sales twits is similar to the endemic misuse by the populace of words such as literally. And the universal misuse of the word vow by hundreds of thick journalists in the gutter press. Then you also get abominations such as innit and fella and gangsta and solja and such like by the absurd mindless subhuman filth.

However, these days I’ve not only got used to it but I quite like innit and use it frequently, it’s got a quite useful ring about it, innit. It sort of conveys a contrariness, a sort of I can be a thickie pleb as well, you know, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me. And it’s quite assertive, quite thuggish. It adds a dash of emphasis which is quite fitting sometimes, innit. Quite annoying as well, innit. Especially when used to excess, innit. Yeah, Gordon Bennett, that’s enough of that, innit. Oh, I just had to slip another one in but I’ll restrain myself with this sentence despite quite a strong impulse to do it yet again.

Yes, I have a sort of tourettes about some words, especially, for instance the c word and the f word which are just so universally satisfying. I like tomato ketchup with nearly everything and in my natural speech a lot of sentences and sentiments are incomplete without some cs and fs to season them. Of course when typing on a forum such as this you have to restrain and edit yourself otherwise you just get deleted or even banned.

Yes, some of these awful wretched sayings are addictive. I used to hate Americanisms such as dude and man and I managed to resist them and others of their ilk for a long time but sadly they somehow got into my subconscious and so I got addicted to both of them a long time ago and so now my discourse is littered with idiotic nastiness such as these dreadful terms.

Yes, take it further and you get American with loads of English words misspelled and misused. And horrible Americanisms. With their awful wretched inferior mentality. Some of my favourites are the obvious ones such as pants and fags. It’s endlessly risible the way Americans talk about people wearing pants. Yeah dude, it’s pants, innit. Kinell. Tell an American that you were walking down the road with a fag in your mouth and they will laugh or give you a funny look. Gawd. Automobiles on the sidewalks. Yer wot, mate? Come again? Wot you on about, geezer? What, cars on the pavement, well, just say that, just use the English language as it is will you, don't just make up stupid words when we've already got plenty of normal ones to use. Oh, alright, language is constantly evolving and there are no governing standards, it's always changing so you just have to go with the flow. Ok.

Except that some people try to take a stand against the rot. Some people sit on the beach and tell the tide not to come in. There's the plain English campaign or whatever it's called. And the French, for instance, have got a bee in their bonnet about Franglais, the inevitable invasion and corruption of their language with bits of English. Apparently they’ve even legislated against it although quite how much effort, if any, that they actually put into nicking people for using foreign words would be interesting to know. Probably not much, surely people have got better things to do with their time and money. And is it only English that they’ve got it in for or do they also try to stop German and Spanish words creeping in. Some of the words are quite choice though. Le anti gang squad is a great one that stuck in my mind. Lists of them are published from time to time and generally make quite amusing reading.

Of course take it yet another step further and you get dialect and pidgin and patois with a spectacular mashing of the English language. What some English people and foreigners can do with English is fantastic. Over the years I’ve had fun on quite a few occasions reading some of their stuff and some of it’s great. Can’t think of any examples off the top of my head. Maybe I’ll look some up in a min and if there’s any worth repeating for a laugh I’ll do another post. Language is quite an interesting subject and there’s often more to say about it.

Know wot ah min? Dya feel me? Literally, innit. Kinell. I vow not to write innit too often. Well, er, maybe.

Didn't have time to read all your post, but the other type of month is the Lunar month.

FTBFun

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

There's a terminal bore on the plane: one passenger after another does away with themselves in front of him rather than having to listen to any more of his self-absorbed drivel. Naturally, he doesn't notice....

Surely you can't be serious?

(sorry, couldn't help myself!)

BitterAndTwisted

mostlycheerful wrote: »

B&T : “rather than having to listen”

Oh, so you’re compelled, are you? You just can’t tear yourself away from the irritation, despite wanting to. Ok, sure, whatever matey. Have a nice day. If you can. Or do you in fact enjoy being annoyed? Hate and irritation are quite stimulating emotions, aren’t they. Quite enjoyable. “I’m only happy when I’m angry”. Like the compulsion to look at a car crash. People just can’t look away, can they, a well known phenomenon.

I think you misunderstand: I feel no hate or irritation just plain indifference. This scrolly-wheel gets a lot of use when I see any of your posts. Most often the only interesting thing you contribute is in the first sentence or two and then it's scroll, scroll, scroll.

And don't call me Shirley!