Estate agents and capital letters - just irks me

dizziblonde

Why is it that estate agents in their property listings appear to have completely lost the grasp of capital letters? We get them appearing Completely Randomly, or the other one of Capitalising Every Single Word.

Then we have one of the local ones who have exclamationmarkitis - a Cellar!!! warranted at least five in one listing recently (and indeed an entire paragraph singing the praises of the Cellar!!! and the wonderful possibilities for fun down there).

Then you've got the "Home for Sale" boards one EA around here has (you sell a house or a flat - it becomes someone's home) and just generally grrrrrrrrrr.

There's a wonderful RM listing (just jumped on to check something else/play the endless game of "has number 22 dropped their silly asking price yet") at the moment which is literally completely abbreviations - Smi-Det prop, 2 dbl bdrooms, gch, frnt prch... it's like reading a flipping text message!

puddy

its not just that though, its the spelling and grammar. im no great shakes but then im not trying to sell someones house

how many times must i be told that a house is in a 'sort after' area etc etc

Nuttyneddy

dizziblonde wrote: »

There's a wonderful RM listing (just jumped on to check something else/play the endless game of "has number 22 dropped their silly asking price yet") at the moment which is literally completely abbreviations - Smi-Det prop, 2 dbl bdrooms, gch, frnt prch... it's like reading a flipping text message!

In the olden days before the internet when estate agents used to list their properties for sale in the paper all house descriptions were written like that

chris_m

dizziblonde wrote: »

Capitalising Every Single Word.

This one could be the software they are using - I used to wonder why people did it on various forums because it not only looks daft but also takes longer to type. Then I found out that it was actually an option in the forum software configuration - to change text if it had been typed solely in capital letters, i.e. with CapsLock on.

Still looks silly though and is harder to read - you'd expect someone trying to sell something to at least proof-read what they are writing.

Davesnave

All it shows is that the average agent really isn't too bright, otherwise he/she would have done something else. It has been the ideal 'profession' for the nice-but-dim brigade.

Of course, not all agents write badly, and those that do, reflect a public which either can't be arsed to check their work, or who also don't know any better. Any agent who's worked for me has been obliged to hand over the draft copy for amendments, and they've all done that willingly enough. One even let me Photoshop a better sky into their picture.

My favourite is the 'Dorma bungalow,' no doubt with Pavarotti crooning from an upstairs window! :rotfl:

Owain_Moneysaver

dizziblonde wrote: »

Then we have one of the local ones who have exclamationmarkitis - a Cellar!!! warranted at least five in one listing recently (and indeed an entire paragraph singing the praises of the Cellar!!! and the wonderful possibilities for fun down there).

Is there a rightmove link for the one with wonderful possibilities for fun in the cellar?

dizziblonde

Owain_Moneysaver wrote: »

Is there a rightmove link for the one with wonderful possibilities for fun in the cellar?

Sadly they rewrote the description after a few weeks and the Cellar!!! got relegated to one sentence - obviously the potential for fun and possibilities weren't as fun and possible as they previously thought.

Orpheo

dizziblonde wrote: »

Why is it that estate agents in their property listings appear to have completely lost the grasp of capital letters? We get them appearing Completely Randomly, or the other one of Capitalising Every Single Word.

Then we have one of the local ones who have exclamationmarkitis - a Cellar!!! warranted at least five in one listing recently (and indeed an entire paragraph singing the praises of the Cellar!!! and the wonderful possibilities for fun down there).

Then you've got the "Home for Sale" boards one EA around here has (you sell a house or a flat - it becomes someone's home) and just generally grrrrrrrrrr.

There's a wonderful RM listing (just jumped on to check something else/play the endless game of "has number 22 dropped their silly asking price yet") at the moment which is literally completely abbreviations - Smi-Det prop, 2 dbl bdrooms, gch, frnt prch... it's like reading a flipping text message!

Because EAs are generally illiterate numpties. Worse, this sorry state of affairs is aggravated by the fact that their self image is through-the-roof delusional. Some of them, in spite of their illiteracy, attempt to turn their particulars into highly prententious works of fiction. One local EA where I live has taken to starting any property particulars with emotive and pretentious statements such as:

"One In A Million!"

"You Can't Top This!"

"Don't Miss Out!"

"Your Dream Lifestyle!"

To get any sense out of property particulars you need a pretty robust BS filter if you want to be left with any facts. Local EAs have also started to leave out dimensions or rooms; I assume that this is withholding the facts so that people who normally wouldn't view a particular house because it is of unsuitable size to do so. Idiots. Give people the facts.

mostlycheerful

One that often irritates me is per calendar month. Well, what other kind of month do you think we might be confusing it with? What, non calendar months? So what are they when they're at home? There's only one kind of month, isn't there, and 4 of them are 30 days, one is 28 days or once every 4 years it's 29 days and the rest are 31 days, aren't they. So why on earth say this redundant word calendar all the time? Duh? The rent is monthly, isn't it, and everyone knows that that means that the number of days varies a bit so there's just no need to say it, is there. But loads of them do, mindlessly, stupidly.

Well, yes, indeed, there are intelligent people and there are thickies and ignorami. There’s proper English and then there’s estuary and Jafaker, sales-talk and journalese, great terms if ever there were.

And the secondary point about honesty : there’s a few people who are honest and moral and have high standards and are accurate but the majority are just plebs and lie and cheat and thieve compulsively all the time. And are sloppy and slapdash. And, yes, reveal how low quality their mentality and behaviour is via their appalling bent self expression.

And coupled with the inanity is the failure of the workers to check their work or use spell checkers. The lack of self awareness is often surprising. If I was a dunce writing advertising copy then I’d be aware of my lackings and do something about it. And get help. I wouldn’t just put out substandard cack. But these days morons and thugs just happily talk low quality rubbish and show off in the most irritating and ridiculous ways and no one curbs their natural vile idiocy.

Indeed, rubbish people are actually encouraged to assert themselves and boorish behaviour is often rewarded. Standards have been slipping for a long time, since, what, about 1930 or even since Roman times, and surprisingly still haven’t hit the floor, every year it just gets worse and worse with no sign of ever coming to a halt. In the 19th century plebeian self expression wasn’t allowed or tolerated. Indeed, a lot of natural vile behaviour was mostly vigorously suppressed. But these days anything goes. So is it better that we are oppressed by standards and our elders and betters or is it better that we are free and so therefore anything goes and so we are instead oppressed by a tidal wave of ignorant filth and ignorant thick people? It’s still oppression so perhaps it’s not much different really. So which would you prefer, oppression from above or oppression from all around you?

Then also part of the problem is that you get the casual lazy amateur bosses with low standards or no standards who fail to supervise work, edit and subedit it and make corrections. So you get an endless stream of crass inanity. But that’s just how the world is so there’s no point getting irritated by it. Most people are stupid and ignorant and it’s a miracle that many of them can read or write at all. And perhaps it’s worth bearing in mind that a lot of people come from underprivileged backgrounds and many people are foreigners and come from totally illiterate backgrounds with little or no encouragement to read or write. So you just have to note their gross failings but not let it get in the way of achieving your ends. However, I tend to immediately refuse to do business with plebs as soon as they demonstrate their inferiority. Often I’d rather just not bother than have to go through the wretched experience of trying to get sense out of thickies and ignorami and liars and thieves.

This appalling rubbish written by estate agents and various other second rate sales twits is similar to the endemic misuse by the populace of words such as literally. And the universal misuse of the word vow by hundreds of thick journalists in the gutter press. Then you also get abominations such as innit and fella and gangsta and solja and such like by the absurd mindless subhuman filth.

However, these days I’ve not only got used to it but I quite like innit and use it frequently, it’s got a quite useful ring about it, innit. It sort of conveys a contrariness, a sort of I can be a thickie pleb as well, you know, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me. And it’s quite assertive, quite thuggish. It adds a dash of emphasis which is quite fitting sometimes, innit. Quite annoying as well, innit. Especially when used to excess, innit. Yeah, Gordon Bennett, that’s enough of that, innit. Oh, I just had to slip another one in but I’ll restrain myself with this sentence despite quite a strong impulse to do it yet again.

Yes, I have a sort of tourettes about some words, especially, for instance the c word and the f word which are just so universally satisfying. I like tomato ketchup with nearly everything and in my natural speech a lot of sentences and sentiments are incomplete without some cs and fs to season them. Of course when typing on a forum such as this you have to restrain and edit yourself otherwise you just get deleted or even banned.

Yes, some of these awful wretched sayings are addictive. I used to hate Americanisms such as dude and man and I managed to resist them and others of their ilk for a long time but sadly they somehow got into my subconscious and so I got addicted to both of them a long time ago and so now my discourse is littered with idiotic nastiness such as these dreadful terms.

Yes, take it further and you get American with loads of English words misspelled and misused. And horrible Americanisms. With their awful wretched inferior mentality. Some of my favourites are the obvious ones such as pants and fags. It’s endlessly risible the way Americans talk about people wearing pants. Yeah dude, it’s pants, innit. Kinell. Tell an American that you were walking down the road with a fag in your mouth and they will laugh or give you a funny look. Gawd. Automobiles on the sidewalks. Yer wot, mate? Come again? Wot you on about, geezer? What, cars on the pavement, well, just say that, just use the English language as it is will you, don't just make up stupid words when we've already got plenty of normal ones to use. Oh, alright, language is constantly evolving and there are no governing standards, it's always changing so you just have to go with the flow. Ok.

Except that some people try to take a stand against the rot. Some people sit on the beach and tell the tide not to come in. There's the plain English campaign or whatever it's called. And the French, for instance, have got a bee in their bonnet about Franglais, the inevitable invasion and corruption of their language with bits of English. Apparently they’ve even legislated against it although quite how much effort, if any, that they actually put into nicking people for using foreign words would be interesting to know. Probably not much, surely people have got better things to do with their time and money. And is it only English that they’ve got it in for or do they also try to stop German and Spanish words creeping in. Some of the words are quite choice though. Le anti gang squad is a great one that stuck in my mind. Lists of them are published from time to time and generally make quite amusing reading.

Of course take it yet another step further and you get dialect and pidgin and patois with a spectacular mashing of the English language. What some English people and foreigners can do with English is fantastic. Over the years I’ve had fun on quite a few occasions reading some of their stuff and some of it’s great. Can’t think of any examples off the top of my head. Maybe I’ll look some up in a min and if there’s any worth repeating for a laugh I’ll do another post. Language is quite an interesting subject and there’s often more to say about it.

Know wot ah min? Dya feel me? Literally, innit. Kinell. I vow not to write innit too often. Well, er, maybe.

chris_m

Orpheo wrote: »

One local EA where I live has taken to starting any property particulars with emotive and pretentious statements such as:
"One In A Million!"
"You Can't Top This!"
"Don't Miss Out!"
"Your Dream Lifestyle!"

Just wait for them to start on the eBay style;

L@@K
R@RE

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

BitterAndTwisted

mostlycheerful wrote: »

There are thickies and ignorami. There’s proper English and then there’s estuary and Jafaker, great terms if ever there were.

I've never heard of Jafaker so I'd be grateful if you could explain what that night be, in case I'm guilty of using it. Please don't explain at length if you'd be so kind.

After that diatribe I suspect you could do with a nice lie-down. Do you go off on these sorts of lengthy monologues in real life, too? I can see in my mind's eye those particular scenes in the Airplane movie....