The Honeymoon Period is OVER!!

Legacy_user

Hi everyone

I am new here, and decided just to jump right in at the deep end and start a debt diary...oh the shame!

I got married earlier this year, we had been planning it for over 2 years, with a (naive?) view that we would save for the wedding and not go into debt for it....how wrong were we? Things came up, cars had to be scrapped and replaced, home improvements had to be carried out, general living costs are constantly increasing...it was and still is a never ending battle.

We already had a bank loan, which was due to end next year, however last year we were in the position that if we didn't top up the loan, then there would be no wedding. We also had to take out finance for bits of the wedding, and also get a loan of money from family. All for a wedding. But when all's said and done, it was worth it. Neither of us regret it. However, it is really hard at this point in time, because it just seems like we are never going to get out of it.

We had to replace our car during this 2 year period too. It happens to a lot of people - we were still paying off the car that had to be scrapped when we had take out more finance for a new car. So yes, the original bank loan which we topped up was for the scrapped car, and we took out finance for the new car...gulp

This time last year, we also relied heavily on catalogues with their "buy now pay in 12 months" deals. We bought clothes, christmas presents...when appliances broke down, yip, we added these to the "we'll think about it next year when we are rich" list. Needless to say, next year is here, and we are far from rich! And at this point in time, I think it's up there as one of the worst decisions we made...its a nightmare to pay off.

The overdraft is a new addition to our debt. We only put this on our account to cover christmas shortfalls. But we fell in the trap fairly quickly and took it close to the max to have a "better" christmas. Hopefully next year we'll be wiser and realise christmas can be just as good without the expensive gifts. Again, even though this is new debt, I am willing to hold my hands up and say it was daft...but we have a young close family, and like to treat people. The full £1200 wasn't on christmas...there were bnpl items due up on our catalogue which we paid of...which amounted to just under £700.

So, I've decided to use this website to keep me motivated. I was recommended to have a look at this forum by a friend and have to say, I think its brilliant. When you're in debt, you think you're alone, and wonder how everyone else is doing so well in life. Its great to see that other people are in the same position, if not worse, and to read the updates on users who have been here for numerous years and have made huge dents to their debts by simply keeping on top of it.

Something I want to note - I haven't included our mortgage or my student loan in my signature. Because - I think understandably, trying to pay off our mortgage with the amount of debt we have would be madness. I know small overpayments can make a different over a period of time, but no, it's not something I'm willing to look at. And as for the student loan - it's pretty big. I lived on my own when I was a student, therefore got the full loan entitlement - for 4 years. Again, like the wedding, this isn't something I regret at all, because I couldn't have got by without it, it was essential. I didn't spend it on the typical student social life, it was spent wisely. Belief it or not, I was actually really good with money at one point...even had savings so I did! And because it's such a large amount, and my earnings aren't high, I am being realistic when I say I won't ever pay it off.

We do have our reasons for wanting to pay off our debt. We are newly married, and would love to start a family. We also live in a small house - we want to move. This is one of the other reasons for not including the mortgage in my debt signature - as we are hoping to move house in the next 12-20 months, we'd rather wait and make overpayments on the house we plan on staying in, not the one we want to move out of! Anyway, neither moving house or starting a family are possible to even consider until we have met the target I've set for us in my signature.

To some people, trying to clear almost £13,000 in 12months is crazy. But I really believe it's due-able. I'm a spreadsheet girl, and have worked it all out. On paper it can be done. Lets see if we do it....

InaPickle

Hi myrtle! :wave:

Nice to see you, and you also have top name! I hope this home of yours isn't down the U bend of a toilet.

You sound as though you have a pretty good handle on things, but feel free to post an SOA for us to peruse and critique in order to save you a few more pennies.

Best of luck, and I look forward to seeing your progress.

System

haha thanks for your reply Ina - and no, I don't live down a toilet...although I am often found crying and moaning in the bathroom! (actually I moan anywhere..that's why the names so fitting!)

I do feel like I have a good handle on our debt - I'm the type of person who can't sleep at night unless I know everything's in order, and am great at making plans...its the seeing them through thats the problem..hopefully 2011 will be my year though.

Thanks for your encouragement...it only makes me feel more determined to succeed.

System

So my first dilemma - its that time of year - works christmas nights out. Yes it only happens once a year. BUT. It does cost a fortune. So to go or not to go?

I've said I will go, but now that its getting closer, I can't help but total up the spend for one night...I'm thinking realistically it won't be much short of £200 - taking into consideration a new outfit (dress only - shoes, bag, coat, accessories would be stuff already in my wardrobe) transport costs, and general spend on the night. So I could shave off £200 from the overdraft without even trying (as I've already budgeted for the night out). I don't know what to do. On the one hand I am thinking, well we don't socialise very often at all, we are the couple who likes to stay in...hence why a new dress does actually have to be bought. So from that point of view I'm thinking get a life and enjoy yourself for a change! On the other hand I'm thinking its that relaxed attitude that led me to this forum in the first place, and if I'm not willing to save money on things that aren't really that important, then what chance do I have of saving money when it comes to buying non-essential things that I really want?

I probably sound like some mad woman here...its only a night out I hear you cry...opinions appreciated...what do you think I should do?

EssexHebridean

First off, welcome to Diary Land and I agree with Pickle about your name! :T

The works night out is a funny one - presumably as it's something you have to pay for yourselves it's not something where everybody is "expected" to attend. You could potentially trim the cost of an outfit by thinking laterally - it doesn't *have* to be a dress, and it doesn't *have* to be new - so, charity shops, maybe think about a smart pair of trousers that you would get lots of wear out of afterwards (or you might even already have!) and a really glitzy top from somewhere like New Look or Primark. For smart trousers that wear well at a good price Tesco and Matalan are both excellent. Team that outfit with high heels, and evening bag and some nice jewellery and you could have a nice outfit for less than you were thinking. Alternatively, you mention having close family nearby - is there anyone you could borrow an outfit from perhaps? On the transport front, could one or the other of you not take a deep breath and agree to drive rather than having to use public transport or taxi's? That would cut down the cost of drinks etc as well. These days people are also extremely accepting of others not wanting to be part of a round when buying drinks as everyone knows that there are a lot of tight financial situations out there, so that's another option, particularly if one of you was drinking soft drinks as well.

On the whole if you can trim the cost I would say go - it is a work thing after all, and you have budgetted for it, but on the other hand there is little pleasure in a night out where you spend the whole time thinking about how much it's costing. As for sounding like a madwoman - hardly, you sound like a sensible little MSE'er to me!

System

So I didn't go out. I weighed all factors in, and it just didn't make sense. So it means I should be able to add a bit extra to the overdraft payments. Lets hope I do! I know how easy it is at this time of year to spend money recklessly! I know I won't put all saved money to it...I know a mini night out will happen...but at least with that I can wear something I already have..and get the train home...so will be the fraction of the cost!

Pay day soon so I'll hopefully be able to make my first update to my signature...

brizzledfw

Hi there..like the new diary. Seems like a mountain to climb to get there but you sound pretty determined which is always a good start. I agree these forums are great for support.. I have found it all very useful and inspiring too.

Good re the works do..am sure there will be another one next year:)

Bitsy_Beans

Well done on making the sensible choice and not going. Good luck with your journey and hope you're enjoying life with your husband as a newlywed

kdenty

moaning_myrtle wrote: »

So I didn't go out. I weighed all factors in, and it just didn't make sense. So it means I should be able to add a bit extra to the overdraft payments. Lets hope I do! I know how easy it is at this time of year to spend money recklessly! I know I won't put all saved money to it...I know a mini night out will happen...but at least with that I can wear something I already have..and get the train home...so will be the fraction of the cost!

Pay day soon so I'll hopefully be able to make my first update to my signature...

I didn't go to my work's Christmas do either very much for the same reason. It cost £30 to go - i hadn't even really thought about all the little extras like outfit and buying drinks, so I guess overall it woudl have been £50+

I'm planning to bake cupcakes just before the christmas hols and take them in for everyone to show I'm not too much of the scrooge I feel like.

You are in about the same amount of debt I started in. It is a bit of a struggle as sometimes things do just seem to conspire against you. You sound like you have a good plan in place and some great motivation.

chevalier

well done on realising there is a problem, also on not going to the office party, that is most of my food budget for one night out:eek::eek::eek:

good luck with moving forward.
chev

System

Thanks for your replies. I think I made the right choice...I hope there are others....redundancy looms for all....but at the end of the day I need to start making changes...is there really any point going overdrawn by that much for a night out? no. Yes its only once a year, but its really not that important.

Yes it is a massive mountain I'm needing to climb, and it doesn't help that my dear husband isn't money minded at all, so doesn't quite understand how these little changes need to be made to make big changes. He does realise how important it is to me to achieve my aim for this time next year, even sooner actually. He knows we would be daft to take on a bigger mortgage just now, and i've told him we need to be in a position to save money while/if I manage to get pregnant, cos maternity pay is pennies!!

Anyway, I'm away to try work out some money plans....sad I know, but I need to do this every few days, otherwise I find its too easy to conveniently forget how bad things are and....spend spend spend!!lol