How to discipline a 28 month old?

alwayspuzzled

This may or may not apply. When my ds1 was around the same age he changed from being a delight to a monster from hell, it got to the point I would find myself literally in tears as every single thing became a battle - even walking up the stairs! I tried everything I could think of nothing helped, till my mom commented on how much squash he was drinking. Talk about a light-bulb moment, I banned squash and within a couple of days he was back to being my sweet little boy. Still had his moments mind:rotfl:but within what I would class as normal toddler behavior.

skintchick

SingleMumOf2 wrote: »

He has reins and walks to nursery mostly, but in certain circumstances I need him in the pram and sometimes he will refuse to walk, but ask to be carried.. yet kicks off at going in the pram.

Could you use a sling? Something like a soft structured carrier (Google Ergo or Connecta to see what I mean). You could keep it under the pram and chuck him on your back in moments like these.

Indie_Kid

nearlyrich wrote: »

Don't be too hard on yourself he will respond to your discipline don't be tempted to give up because your ex doesn't bother.

If you give up, he'll carry on - because he knows he can get away with it.

Savvy_Sue

you may find that singing through his tantrums helps. mine all used to beg me to stop, so I would stop my noise when they stopped theirs.

and get yourself a copy of Toddler Taming, by Christopher Green, and consider getting your son to give your ex one for Christmas ...

post-op, take all the help you can get - if you go to any groups, tell people and accept help - meals, washing up, laundry, just company! ask your HV if you need more. don't even think "but I should be able to cope" ... see if anyone goes to nursey past your door - will they help take DS?

there's only me and DH at home these days, and I have not turned down ANY offers of help since I smashed my shoulder up. of course we could cope without any help, but no-one's going to give me a medal for doing so, and it is great to have the help!

oh, and while I agree you can't have a reasoned debate with a 2 year old, you CAN IMO say very clearly how things are going to be. if he does not wake baby, you and he can have fun reading / painting / with the playdough / putting up decorations. if he does wake baby, none of the above ...

do_it_today!

Hi
I sympathise with you as my 2 year old has also started displaying challenging behaviour one tip I have about the banana is dont peel it completely only partially open it I think that is part of the joy for them peeling it themselves (my ds will throw a hissy if handed a completely unpeeled nana!) also I generally cut the banana in half and give him one half as he wont always finish it and put the other half in the fridge (still in skin for later!).

Diversion seems to be a technique that is working for me and involving ds in preping food or cleaning (start em young! :-0)

SingleMumOf2_3

Sorry I havent replied until now. Had my operation yesterday so not been online. I have read all your comments but am shattered and dosed up with pain relief lol.. so I cannot reply to each post personally atm.
I will def try the singing through the tantrums.. I will be more firm with saying no and I will use the naughty step strictly.
With the sling idea.. now he is getting a bit better at walking I might start carrying baby in a sling and forcing him to walk. I do explain to him why food needs cooking, but he either doesnt fully understand or acts dumb lol.

Savvy_Sue

look after yourself! takes a while for the head to clear post-op, I know!

onlyroz

It does sound like perfectly normal behaviour to me. Toddlers need to learn what their boundaries are, and they do this by trying to push them. So of course they're going to whine at you for sweets, cakes, fruit, or whatever - and if you give in then they'll do it more. A simple no is enough - and if the child continues to whine then put them out of your sight and ignore them. No need for screaming back, or slapping because that just encourages them to do the same.

kafkathecat

If ds was hungry while I was cooking I used to give him salad. I now have a 12 yr old who loves salad!

Gingham_Ribbon

Go easy on yourself first of all. The op will take it out on you for longer than you'd like.

It's normal for his age and normal for the experiences he's going through.

Don't forget that he's probably worried about you and unaware of his feelings or how to express them. My 7 year old recently told me that when I was in hospital lots when he was 2 years old he was scared I'd never come back. He never verbalised it until a few days ago.

Most older siblings go through a difficult time when a new baby comes along. Have you read any picture books with him about this and talked to him about what a great big brother he's being?

Consistency is key. If he whinges for something you've said no to, don't give in. Ever. And pick what you say no to carefully so you're not saying no all the time or wishing you'd said yes.

Praise is extremely effective. Even if it seems forced to you, try to make sure that almost all of your comments to him are positive ones.

You're sitting so nicely eating that yoghurt.
Well done for saying thank you.
Well done for not crying when I said no!
I love that picture you're drawing!

Even when he's getting it wrong, find something good about it too and turn the 'don't' into a 'do this instead'.

eg That's a lovely drawing, but you must use paper to draw on, NEVER walls!

It's good that you're enjoying this food, but we eat off our own plates, not each other's!

And try to divert his attention from the innapropriate behaviour first as this can often work to avoid a telling off.

eg he's scattering his toys on the floor - Let's have a race to see how can collect the most jigsaw pieces!

He's heading for a strop about you cooking - Do you want to help me stir your food while I'm cooking it? You can stand on a big chair!

Again, don't worry. It's all sounding very normal to me!