Has anyone regretted going Bankrupt

WLITC

I'm not discharged until the spring, but in terms of the last several months I haven't regretted it. I was in a better positon than many and didn't really have creditors chasing me so I wasn't too stressed in that respect, but I was living off credit and using credit to pay credit and while I had got away with it for years (the noose was tightening as my available credit was dwindling) on paper I was insolvent.

For me there were a brief few days of shame/guilt when I first stopped paying my creditors but that was because I had always been someone who paid on time and never missed a payment until I defaulted the month before I went BR. That was hard to do, However since then I haven't looked back. I'm not proud of going BR, but for me once I decided I was going to go BR, it was almost like being in a bad relationship and deciding you have to break up. It was a chance of a fresh start and a chance to start my life over (financially and personally as debt held me back from doing so much for several years).

ani_26

FavDaughter1 wrote: »

thankyou all for your posts,i felt so alone...it even crossed my mind to end it. i'm not in a good place but nor am i suicidal now, i find it amazing that people we never meet have the power to touch us and make a difference. you are all very brave, big big hug ,God bless you allxx

Too true. I completely agree with you.

I have no regrets at going bankrupt, nor will i ever have. There was only one way out of my situation, after the other escape route, failed. Its seems odd, to think this time last year, i only had one solution on my mind. The sad thing is, it was the only thing in my mindset. I was telling everyone i came in contact with, what was going to happen, but not one person cared enough about me, to say, don't do that, i'll miss you. Maybe its just because people don't like to speak about the unspeakable. Or maybe they don't belive you would do the unspeakable, that things were so bad, there was no alternative. A complete stranger 'kept me company' as it were, while i spent my last hours, or so i thought. Hmmm, that is really poignant...


So, i had to go bankrupt, and no, i've no regrets, even though i lost the home i loved. My first, very own home. it was all mine. Not anymore. I completely agree with alastiaq, too. We live, i feel in a keep up with the jones' soceity. I never subscribed, but having my own ' little' home, did mean the world to me. It did'nt have to be Buckingham Palace. It was just my ' haven'.

But i, too, know that i'll never own my own home again, with advancing years, its an impossibilty, now. But it does'nt matter to me anymore, the fact i won't ever own my own home, again. I'm still really annoyed with myself for being so stupid, in losing everything i had. I've only got myself to blame,and i'll probably always have some degree of regret, and continue to ' beat myself up' about my stupidity.Its an uncertain future from this day to the next, where the ' roof over my head ' will be, until i get somewhere permanent, if there is such a thing. To me, that has been the harshest consequence of bankruptcy. But i suppose you could say, i'm still here, in body, anyway.


Nohope

FavDaughter1

Hi, very touching,moving posts. no one could read the messages here and think br or even a iva are the easy way out- i've heard several times people with no idea of the breath taking fear of huge debts say that having debt written off "is the easy way out" it isn't and i know it isn't done lightly because i'm right there with you guys. i do feel embarrassed, ashamed etc,but when you have no way out it is the only sane option. we would never want a loved one to suffer such a huge burden, especially to be so convinced the only way out is to end a life, so by the same token-be kind to yourself,hug.

a friend of mine killed herself just before my birthday many years ago,she had problems,her marriage broke up and they had debts of around £25k. she had no idea of how loved and missed she'd be,one of the most heard sentences at her funeral was,"i wish she'd talked to me". how terrible to speak out and not be heard. i rang the Samaritans,got the number in yellow pages.

yes we do put pressure on ourselves to "keep up with the Jones'". i could never understand why we were always struggling into the new year,now i know. true our gifts this Christmas are much smaller than they would have been but there will be no heart shuddering cc bills for my husband this year! it's a wonder he hasn't had a heart attack- no joke!

dealing with any possible fallout ie having to give up your house is big enough to cope with,you don't need anything else. you must be here in body AND soul...you couldn't have written such a heart felt message otherwise.

thankyou for posting,reading here has helped me a great deal,hug

Tupperware_Queen

just to say I echo all thats been said in the last few posts

keep strong, things will get better - I really beleive that now.....although just a few months ago I thought all was lost xxxx

fiveyearplan

I don't for one minute regret my BR and I'm nearly 3 years down the line (same as skylight!). It took me just over a year from realising I was insolvent to actually doing the deed - I got myself prepared and read up (with many, many thanks to people on this forum!!!) and got knowledgable on everything to do with bankruptcy. People say the day of BR you will get the best night's sleep but I actually got my best night's sleep the night before BR, because I knew what to expect and that the creditors' endless phonecalls/letters etc would finally stop.

Look to the future and don't dwell on the reason you are in your current situation - use it as a stepping stone to start over.

Best wishes xx

confused76

as everyone else has already said, i don't regret going bankrupt one year ago. i do regret being in the position where bankruptcy was my only viable option at the time, however, i have gone through the guilt and shame and am mostly dealing with it. the support i have received on this forum has been second to none.

i remember feeling very scared making my first post, wondering if anyone would answer or ignore me, wondering if i had worded it correctly. the people i have met have been wonderful, and some have become very good friends indeed. they have supported me through bankruptcy, ill health and redundancy.

thanks to everyone who gives their time for nothing to help out people. i remember that feeling of not knowing where to turn, which is why i will continue to stick around x

So_Sad_Angel

I maybe the only one to say this...but I do regret it....every single, awful, rotten day of it...I had no choice as the burden of debt that my ex left me with tipped the balance.

Taking that step effectively took away all I had ever known & also took away my only chance of regaining my career & any potential for a decent life for my family....whilst my exOH walks away scot free with his job & fat salary intact.

I know I sound bitter....& you guess right that I`m not through the `anger` yet & that feeling of `failure` that still hasn`t left me.

I will live with it though....BR gives you no choice in that respect.

My advice - just make sure that it REALLY is the last resort.

curly04

I regret getting into the situatation of not being able to afford my debts
I'm upset I had to go BR
But it hasn't given me my life back
I can't get credit, can't get a mobile phone, I want to apply for a job but can't as they won't accept me but the way I look at it is it my own fault and i'm in this situaation because of my actions

but i will admit it was the best thing i did to help me get my life back on track, cos no matter how bad it is now, its not as bad as it was then!

jez123cars

hiya, it really is a tough time, i really feel for you. We put off going bankrupt for 2 years, muddling along borrowing off credit cards to pay for food/petrol/mortgage (when I think of it now, it makes me shudder). I made myself very ill, suffering severe depression, couldn't leave the house and had a panic attack everytime the phone rang. It didn't get better immediately, it took a while for the phone calls to stop, then there was explaining to family and friends that we were only buying for the kids at christmas. Now a year on, I can honestly say it was the best thing we've done. I found so many others in the same situation on the boards here it was like a support group, no-one judged and all supported me through the process. Do think carefully, but if you feel it's right for you take the plunge, but NEVER, EVER feel alone, whatever you decide on, we'll all be here to help you along the way xxx

andyf1980

I regret not going BR sooner. Because of my job I kept telling myself I had no option (I would have been sacked).

It was only when I got ill and subsequently left my job that I faced up to the fact that I had no alternative.

After 6 months of unemployment I've just started a job that I actually enjoy and am slowly getting my life back on track. :j