Has anyone regretted going Bankrupt

Doucam

I don't regret it per se no, but sometimes I torture myself by wondering if there was something else we could have done.... which there wasn't of course...

I know we had no choice but to go BR, we moved and halved our rent, the credit card companies refused to let DH pay half of the payments for a couple of months to help us out, Black Horse would not help me either.

When we sat down and did our SOA, even with me working we were £200 in deficit, and that was before food!!

My car needed an mot, we couldn't afford it, there was no way I could get to work without the car as public transport didn't go at the right times, so I couldn't work any more we were totally stuffed.

Yet, even though I know we had no choice I sometimes have wobbles.

It is a year now since we went BR, we were lucky we got ED.

BR truly is a rollercoaster ride, it batters your emotions, but at the end of the day, if it is right for you it is.

Tupperware_Queen

MichMoor wrote: »

I feel like a failure now to be honest, aged 41 and lost most things I own and a failure, marriage breakdown, left with debt about to lose home, have somewhere to go tho, thank god for my family.

Starting to think it would be a chance to draw a line under whats happend and start the process to re-build my life!

oh sweetie, I so know how you feel - more or less the same age, lost my home, had to give up pets, the life I had, the marriage I had (he left me - I had no choice). I am on the very first rung of the ladder towards rebuilding my life, and I am planning to do it without the benefit ( if indeed it is a benefit) of a credit card.

As the song goes, the only way is up....baby!!

Tupperware_Queen

sugarbabe-47 wrote: »

oh Mich I hear you, I felt a failure at the time just like you do at this moment in time - hugs to you
I was 48 at the time, I lost my marriage first then tried to continue on my own with finances, couldnt do it, worked over 80+ hours a week and C.A.B. finally talked me into going B/R. I had put it off for 3 years:eek: but am so glad to have done it. At a time when things are not too good in your life we all feel a failure, but hey you havent committed a murder - please try not to be so hard on yourself and thank goodness for your family.
Take care of you and we are all here for you

sugar - are you sure you're not me??? I have exact same situation :eek:

skylight

Only sometimes and for split seconds do I regret it. EG I have a Step account that I tried to upgrade to a full account. they wouldn't let me citing my BR as a cause. For a split second I thought "bloodee BR" but that left when I told the guy on the phone that if that was the only reason Natwest wouldn't allow me a decent account it was obviously not decent enough in the first place!

On the whole, no. Almost 3 year since the deed, I do not (yet?) have any regrets.

sueby78

I had to go BR after my ex left me in lots of debt after I signed my name to all of his debt on a second mortgage just after we got married and then he ran off with another woman 6 months later and went bankrupt himself leaving it all in my name....at first the prospect was so scary, I didn't realise this forum was here then, I wish I had, but after it was done, it was a massive weight lifted. The stress of companies ringing, being too scared to answer my phone or worried about what would drop through the letter box next was far far worse than bankruptcy. The prospect is SO much more daunting than the actual process. You have no more people chasing you etc its just a massive relief.
For me it was the best thing I could have done under my circumstances.

Since I have been bankrupt I have spoke to so many people who admit to it too so its more common than you think.

4 years on I have a bank account (had that for 3 years), a credit card (normal rate not a credit builder), an overdraft, a contract phone (that never ended), I rent a house, other than applying for lots of credit which I don't do as I know I would be turned down and want to build my credit rating back up, I have no problems and look after my own finances well now (although being made redundant 3 weeks ago for the second time this year doesnt help lol).

nuttyp

I still think, what happenned!! I went BR then OH did the following april. I owed 42K partly due to house repossession - many thanks halifax. There are some days that you have that are bad, but the upside is i have a lovely family and im one of the fortunate few that has council accomodation that costs £60 a week. Grateful i am, its now HOME. I dont own it and i never will, but hey who cares - when you do finally own a house you have paid soooo much over the 25 years for what, a set of keys and lots of mainenance bills.

Im fortunate that we both have good jobs, have been lucky enough to save up and take the kids of a true holiday of a lifetime (with a strict budget) to florida. Never ever prior to BR could i have ever afforded it.

Ive learnt from my mistakes, i am grateful that i have been given another chance to live mylife.
BR isnt easy but with a possitive outlook, the future will be better. After all everyone makes mistakes - and we all learn by them one way or another.

Classylady2010_2

When I think back to this time last year, how worried I was, sleepless nights and so very ashamed, going Br was the best thing I ever did to sort out my life, Im a different person this year, the year has flew by and Im nearly there. Still paying my IPA for another 2 years but thats a small price to pay for my peace of mind
cl

FavDaughter1

Hi, i think you guys are brave,it takes courage to face up to debt. we're struggling, arguing so much,the stress is killing us. br is still a option but looking at iva f& f with help from my parents (i'm so sad i need their help,they're retired. i'm disabled).

i feel so ashamed we're in such a mess. we were at the shops,watching people buying so much stuff,it feels like we're broke but no one else is! what's the betting most of those shoppers are buying on credit? i feel low i expect that's common isn't it?

Falze

FavDaughter1 wrote: »

Hi, i think you guys are brave,it takes courage to face up to debt. we're struggling, arguing so much,the stress is killing us. br is still a option but looking at iva f& f with help from my parents (i'm so sad i need their help,they're retired. i'm disabled).

i feel so ashamed we're in such a mess. we were at the shops,watching people buying so much stuff,it feels like we're broke but no one else is! what's the betting most of those shoppers are buying on credit? i feel low i expect that's common isn't it?

Very common to feel low. Dont be ashamed of being in a mess. The important part is dealing with it, which you are.

I could never have got through it without my families support. Thats what families are for. If my kids need my help, i do what ever i can for them too.

Debt is incredibley hard to deal with day to day, but once its under control (BR, IVA, F&F) things are much better. Do what ever is best for you, but dont be affraid to do BR. The word is worse that the action.

Best of luck and keep posting

FavDaughter1

Thankyou. i feel like it's killing us. we had the house valued,barely any equity which was good and sad all at the same time. it's frightening to have this new budget(from a IVA firm) and to see how little over there is.
my husbands wage has dropped by £100's over the year. he used to pay for food with a cc telling me he was paying it off(i know now he wasn't), i couldn't understand why he was so grumpy paying for the shopping,he must have felt sick knowing how it was growing, i wish he'd spoken to me ,that hurts.

i'm so low,weepy,angry,sad and frightened. he looks tired and old, nothing is worth that.

i bought things in the sales through the year so i have gifts for family but they're much smaller than they would have been.
but, this year there will be no credit card bills that are left to grow with me thinking the were being paid off.

thankyou all for your posts,i felt so alone...it even crossed my mind to end it. i'm not in a good place but nor am i suicidal now, i find it amazing that people we never meet have the power to touch us and make a difference. you are all very brave, big big hug ,God bless you allxx