O/S disasters.... let us share...

winnie81

I am ashamed to admit this but years ago I was really keen to get a cake recipe right so I got everything ready locked myself in the kitchen and concentrated really hard to the recipe instructions.

The recipe called for me to place 6 eggs in a bowl and stir.... i literally did that for some unknown reason shells on and all! :rotfl: I was oblivious to what i was doing even though i was stirring 6 eggs in a bowl with shells still intact as I was reading further down said recipe untill OH came into kitchen to see what I was up to and pizzed himself laughing while trying to ask me what I was doing :rotfl:

My answer was that the recipe said I had to put 6 eggs in a bowl and stir very seriously and the penny only dropped when OH asked if they shells needed to be on or off

I have never lived it down to this day :rolleyes:

Claire x

winnie81

I have a complete inability to cook any pizzas -fresh or frozen as they alwqays turn out a disaster.

I once said to OH that I would cook the frozen pizzas for tea which were called Frushettas I think the base was fresh unrisen but frozen none the less.

I placed 2 of these pizzas directly on the oven shelf only to come back to check on them 15mins later and they were both a soggy dripping mess as the fresh pizza base dough fell through the bars of the oven shelf as it defrosted

They were completely inedible and took a while to clean up...I did get take away that night though lol

Its a wonder OH stuck around with some of the stuff I've done :rotfl:

OH has banned me from cooking pizza as everytime its a disaster hehe

pigpen

I tried making a cake in the breadmaker.. on jam setting.. so ended up with cake crumble... in true OS style.. I added a blob of warm jam and custard.. VOILA!! Dessert!! lol

HIT.. do you mean like the time I cooled the deep fat fryer.. picked it up to put it away... and had left it plugged in and ended up covered in warm fat??? At least I have the sense to cool it before trying to put it away!

I once set fire to the frying pan while frying some mushrooms.. I did the wet tea towel thing.

I also threw out a tumble dryer which was burning a furnace inside.. I had no idea how to make the fire go out so I left the door shut.. opened the back door and booted it into the garden.. my hubby and his workmate were out there and thought I had seriously lost it lol.

I dropped a well painted roller down the stairs while painting the landing.. 3 times!!!!

I once made a yoghurt cake.. not realising it had to be eaten hot with custard or whatever made it into the most revolting iced birthday cake ever! I was also 6 weeks pg with no#3 and was heartbroken it was not nice and sobbed like a loon for about 3 hours lol

I once threw a disp. nappy to hubby to put in the bin and it exploded on impact with his head (he is NOT a good catcher lol) slopping wet gel all over him... I found it amusing!

pigpen

ooh... I hadn't any vinegar to get rid of the stink in my washing machien so used washing up liquid.. a word of warming DON'T!!!! It was like 'The Fog' when I got home from school the whole kitchen was awash with suds.. they were coming out of the drawer and everything. Circuit board was stuffed and I ended up getting a new machine! .. My dad did the same with his dishwasher.

HappyIdiotTalk

pigpen wrote:

I tried making a cake in the breadmaker.. on jam setting.. so ended up with cake crumble... in true OS style.. I added a blob of warm jam and custard.. VOILA!! Dessert!! lol

HIT.. do you mean like the time I cooled the deep fat fryer.. picked it up to put it away... and had left it plugged in and ended up covered in warm fat??? At least I have the sense to cool it before trying to put it away!

I once set fire to the frying pan while frying some mushrooms.. I did the wet tea towel thing.

I also threw out a tumble dryer which was burning a furnace inside.. I had no idea how to make the fire go out so I left the door shut.. opened the back door and booted it into the garden.. my hubby and his workmate were out there and thought I had seriously lost it lol.

I dropped a well painted roller down the stairs while painting the landing.. 3 times!!!!

I once made a yoghurt cake.. not realising it had to be eaten hot with custard or whatever made it into the most revolting iced birthday cake ever! I was also 6 weeks pg with no#3 and was heartbroken it was not nice and sobbed like a loon for about 3 hours lol

I once threw a disp. nappy to hubby to put in the bin and it exploded on impact with his head (he is NOT a good catcher lol) slopping wet gel all over him... I found it amusing!

Pigpen you are priceless! Thanks for posting, that was most humourous!

Anne_Marie_2

Thank you all, this thread is priceless! My face is sore laughing!

Am one of those cooks that has loads of recipe books, never follows a recipe - books are for ideas in my opinion! I got teased a lot by family, as never follow a recipe, substitute etc. but will not be parted from my books. So, taking this on board, decided to stick to a recipe faithfully, gratin dauphinoise, which I had made with no probs on many an occassion....well St. Delia's recipe after the recommended 1 1/2 hrs in oven, was still raw potato. The main course was served in stages! (They still take the mickey, but never to follow a recipe again!)

Christmas Day many years ago...luckily it was just us, no guests. Had cooked turkey on Christmas eve. Prepared several stuffings, all the trimmings from scratch, boiled potatoes ready for roasting etc. My vegetarian dish all ready to go into oven. Well prepared. Christmas Day made breakfast, turned on oven to heat up before cooking. Went in to put first lot of things in........stone cold. Oven had given up the ghost. Everything had to be done in microwave. Think we finally had dinner about 7pm.
Course couldn't get anyone to fix cooker between Christmas & New Year, and in Scotland tradional New Year dinner is steak pie. So OH did have pastryless steak pie that year!

When I was a student, visited one of my pals at Uni who stayed in halls of residence. Wasn't a veggie then, so had got chicken to cook for us. Left her one portion in the fridge with instructions, as she wasn't much of a cook. Turned out to be the understatement of the year. She decided against plain roast chicken in tinfoil, deep fried would be best, washed the chicken, put it into fryer. Result chip pan fire, and her area of the halls was without a kitchen for some weeks! :eek: She thought it was hilarious, while I was mad at her for being so stupid. Must admit though she was extremely intelligent, but not a tad of common sense! (Sorry Jackie!)

Most recent mishap was on Monday morning. Okay, this one isn't an os mistake, just one of those things. Almighty bang when I got out of the shower! At the same time accompanied by the sound of running water. Rushed into the kitchen and water flooding out from underneath kitchen sink. Could not turn off stopcock. Mr AM away, so flung on dressing gown and rushed next door, grabbed neighbour on his way to work. Can't imagine what he must have thought of this drenched wretch attacking him in his driveway first thing in the morning! :rotfl:

squeaky

pigpen wrote:

I once threw a disp. nappy to hubby to put in the bin and it exploded on impact with his head (he is NOT a good catcher lol) slopping wet gel all over him... I found it amusing!

PRICELESS

Thank you

HappyIdiotTalk

Anne_Marie wrote:

Christmas Day many years ago...luckily it was just us, no guests. Had cooked turkey on Christmas eve. Prepared several stuffings, all the trimmings from scratch, boiled potatoes ready for roasting etc. My vegetarian dish all ready to go into oven. Well prepared. Christmas Day made breakfast, turned on oven to heat up before cooking. Went in to put first lot of things in........stone cold. Oven had given up the ghost. Everything had to be done in microwave. Think we finally had dinner about 7pm.
Course couldn't get anyone to fix cooker between Christmas & New Year, and in Scotland tradional New Year dinner is steak pie. So OH did have pastryless steak pie that year!

Hehe, unlucky! I bet you never forgot that Christmas.

I didn't think I had any good stories but your post has reminded me of something which happened to me just after I'd left home. I had started renting a small house with my best mate and his girlfriend and decided to cook them and a load of other close friends a meal.

I'd only been cooking for myself properly for a few months so I wasn't the greatest or quickest cook in the world (think MrBadExample). Anyway I spent the whole evening preparing meatballs and making a tomato sauce from scratch using fresh tomatos using a recipe from one of Delias books.

After many hours of slaving away in the kitchen preparing everything (god knows why it took me so long) I was getting very stressed out with the whole thing, and it was getting very late. I remember the muscles in the back of my neck were killing me with the tension. I was trying very hard to get everything right, not burn anything. I hadn't got much experience back then and as I dont come from a strong cooking background I had to watch everything really closely because I had no idea what would happen if I didn't. Then there was the fear no-one would like it... It was one of the most stressful things I've ever done, I'm surprised I ever cooked for anyone ever again.

Anyway, I had everything ready, got a couple of pans of water boiling and added the pasta... And what happens???

Blink!

About 4 minutes into the cooking of the pasta the electricity cut out... and didn't come back again for a good few hours... And we had an electric oven!

After all that effort and stress we couldn't eat it and had to go and get a takeway. I was not a happy man!

Anne_Marie_2

HappyIdiotTalk wrote:

Hehe, unlucky! I bet you never forgot that Christmas.

About 4 minutes into the cooking of the pasta the electricity cut out... and didn't come back again for a good few hours... And we had an electric oven!

After all that effort and stress we couldn't eat it and had to go and get a takeway. I was not a happy man!

Ha ha ha! Yep, sod's law and all that. One reason that I got a gas cooker now. Ok, it needs electricity to ignite it automatically, but if there is a powercut, can always light it manually! So, if there is a powercut, at least I can make something hot to eat/drink, and heat the kitchen. (That is, barring the no-water situation on Monday).

This just reminded me of something that happened last week with my gas oven. DD's boyfriend was doing oven chips in my oven. I happened to pop into kitchen when he was turning them over at "half time", and commented that they were all very neatly laid out on tray. All regimentally laid out in rows. Said that if it was me, would just put a pile on the tray and give it a shoogle about. Ages later, chips still not done, so thought maybe too many on the tray, even though it was very neat...he must have turned them all over, as suggested by an earlier poster. Turned out, he was using the timer on the oven, but inadvertently turning the oven off, in doing so! Why he didn't realize that things weren't hot? Apparently I have a stupid oven! :rolleyes:
Not the first time he has said that the oven was really slow/temperature setting was wrong, and I couldn't understand it. All fallen into place now. :rotfl:

elona

When visiting DH while we were engaged I decided to cook chicken in red wine.

Put skinned chicken with veg and lots of red wine into pyrex dish and baked it.

Because I did not know you had to seal the meat - the chicken came out of the oven nicely cooked but bright pink - it looked like a flamingo!!!!:eek:

DH said "Is it meant to look like that and is it all right to eat?"

I unblushing told him it was meant to look like that and we proceeded to eat it - it was eatable lol;)