Help please! reviews and reassessments

lynn45

I didn't mean or expect this thread to go this way, and i'm sorry if i've started something that may have ultimately offended anyone.

I think the last post explains how a NRPP feels quite well, you're involved/married to this guy, & like me have a dd/ds, and you have to make the best of what you have, it is very hard. I think that it's one of those unless you've been there you can't possibly understand.

Many years ago when i met my dh, my sister gave me some advice, not asked for, and not taken, of just how difficult it can turn out to be (the step family thing) & at the time everything was tickety-boo - friendly with PWC, even had a giggle together sometimes, but that has changed a lot over the years. Without preaching some sociological theory, I studied the family/sociology and psychology a couple of years ago, and there is evidence which shows that a woman finds her partner's attention/emotions/money- whatever form the energy may take, spent on children other than her own, can lead to strife. And may be, and it's just my view, i'm no expert, this is the reason we NRPPs find it so hard.

Having said that, I'm v.angry with my dh for not keeping on track with the csa thing, because I know that it's very hard to make ends meet when you have kiddies. Also because it's made things hard for us, and especially my children- I dislike him intensely for this. But that doesn't mean i agree with PWC taking dh for a ride- not at all, because then my little lad suffers, this isn't good.

I have been receiving maintenance via csa for my eldest ds, it stopped a few months ago. I applied for it 2 years ago, and received payments for 18 months- i applied only when we were struggling due to my dh being made redundant X2, & we were really struggling. I have been separated from my ex husband for 9 years, and divorced since 2003. Throughout this time our ds has lived with me, and i received the occasional £50 a month from his dad, maybe 3 or 4 times until 2 years ago. I didn't expect that he paid a lot- he has his bills and life to lead, and was a good dad to our lad,a lovely guy, and I was happy with that. I couldn't and wouldn't expect any more from him.