Depressed & depression

lost_at_present

Hi

(Just a quick note that im posting under another ID for obvious reasons)

But to cut a long story short im very depressed and i'm not quite sure what to do about it.

I know everyone will say "everyone gets depressed" I realise this but I believe I have manic depression (high highs and low lows, rapdily intersperced) but they refuse to let me know my diagnosis.

I do have a councilor but I haven't been for weeks and my appointments have now been cancelled. I have been identified as suffering with depression since uni in the 90s.

Problem is, I feel stuck in a rut and I honestly don't know what to do with it. It doesnt help that a business I invested 6K I borrowed is about to go t1ts up.

I also realised I was starting to drink too much, not so much as to not be able to function normally but I went through a phase of drinking a 4 pack of Stella a night. Ok, I am now drinking less (ie a couple every other night or so) I belive this was out of boredom, because I have nothing else to do.

But what super depresses me is that I am in debt BUT even if I was rich all I would want to do is travel and buy a new car! I kinda have begun to enjoy my job after 5 years of hating it, and it is well paid but its not where I want to be.

I turn 30 next year and I look back on my life. I have done a lot in my life, I have been to places and done things very people would even know existed, I earned more at 21 than I do now, more cash than I could actually spend (deadly serious here)

But I guess it all comes down to " I can't do normal" and I cry at the thought of a conventional pay the bills, get old and die. I am even supposed to be getting married next year and im dreading it. I used to be able to just "do what I wanted, whenever"

But whilst this debt hangs over me, I feel its a hopeless task, ok, i could perhaps pay it off in 3 years or so, but to me 33 is past the hill (meaning no offence to anyone)

I had visions of being a success by 30 but nothing says im a success to me at the moment, in debt, overweight and depressed.

I am not the most social of people but I know what I like, and mostly what makes me happy but I haven't done anything I enjoy in a long time. Nothing seems to interest me anymore and I seem to have become a virtual recluse, so to speak, outside of work. It consists of coming home, working on my websites, and getting up and going out, rinse, repeat. Virtually all my friends have moved away.

I know I need to take steps, but being stuck in a rut is not fun.

I have no idea what to do now. I know people say emphasise the positive but I see very little of it and I can't get my mindset right and I see nowhere to get help.

tomstickland

Rather like dating advice, the world is awash with well intentioned but often ineffective advice.
I've been through long phases of mild depression in the past. It's always present at the back of mind. Despite being content, enjoying my job etc, there are always things that worry me.
One thing to realise is that, very often, those who don't suffer usually don't spend much (if any) time thinking about their situation. It's a sort of ignorant bliss, not far off fantasy behaviour.


Don't get married if you are not happy; a marriage cannot solve something for you and you might make the wrong decision.

I also realised I was starting to drink too much, not so much as to not be able to function normally but I went through a phase of drinking a 4 pack of Stella a night. Ok, I am now drinking less (ie a couple every other night or so) I belive this was out of boredom, because I have nothing else to do.

Ah, you could improve things if you tried some nice beer instead. Go down Tescos and buy some Staropramen or Bitteburger!
I used to drink out of boredom; thing is, it does make you feel better.

skintchick

Hi. Hugs. I know where you're coming from and it's horrible. CNa I suggest you have a look at https://www.livinglifetothefull.com and try the exercises on there.

Talk to your GP - why won;t they give you your diagnosis? You should have meds for your illness.

There's a thread somewhere on anothr board for people with depression - go on there and get some support.

YOu need some professional help, but have a big hug from me in the meantime

Headintheclouds_3

Hi lost_

I'm sorry to hear about your depression...everything you're feeling at the moment is down to this illness. Definitely get yourself back to your GP

And take care xx

Ames

I'm manic depressive, if you want any advice, info or a shoulder just pm me.

You say you were seeing a councillor, was it a proper psychiatrist or just a councillor? Was it arranged through the NHS? Did they suggest any medication?

If you're more depressed now than when you asked for help before then you need to go back and ask for more help and antidepressants. If you think you're manic depressive you have to talk to someone about that because you'll need a different type of anti depressant, I tried all the usual ssri's before finally being put on Venlafaxine which worked.

The 'everyone gets down' comments really anger me, no one would tell someone with a broken leg that they should just get over it without treatment yet it's fine to say that to someone with a chemical imbalance in their brain which causes depression.

MinnieSpender

This is the thread mentioned above.

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=218401

You're not alone. x

iolanthe07

Surely you all mean 'counsellor'? A councillor is someone you elect to serve on the council.

LittleL_4

Hi Hun - you sound very low and are viewing your situation as being very bleak. At 33 believe me you are still very YOUNG! I'm 37 and was really offended!!!! lol!!!!

I went through a horrendous period of depression/anxiety/chronic fatigue etc.... The only thing that helped and continues to is..............transcendental meditation. https://www.tm.org

The results are amazing.................I think you can learn it on the NHS now.

I could'nt work, hence why I am in debt but tonight I came home after my 3rd 12 hour shift (nurse) and i feel great!

Good luck!

L
x

ps. it may not seem like it at the mo but you can beat this.........

MinnieSpender

LittleL - I'm really interested in TM. I've looked into it but the cost seems really high - did you pay or go via the NHS?

Thanks for mentioning this. I'd kind of put it to the back of my mind. (Oh dear, that sounds like an appalling pun given the thread - apologies.)

rose07

hi l.a.p

there are a few of us over on the depression thread

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?p=3263890#post3263890

many of us have been through certain experiences that you might be able to relate to, and we are very friendly if you fancy popping in you know where we will be.

have you been back to your GP since?

take care
xxx

LittleL_4

Minniespender I'm so glad you are and have mentioned it. I was in a bad way - believe me when I say that and my sister and b/f paid it for me. At the time it cost £500 :eek: but now it's £1250 :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

...............................But it's worth it's weight in gold. I saw results within 2/3 days. It makes you feel so calm and it's like taking a mental bath every day. My sister is high up in her job and wasn't coping a few years ago with the pressure of it all ( she had to wear high crew neck jumpers to hide her rashed neck etc) but within a week after learning TM she said she felt amazing and coped/copes without any bother.

If you want to know more please pm me coz my enthusiasm may not come across but it truly is amazing. Oh and it makes you feel and look so much younger. I'm 37 but only look about 12!!!! lol!!!!

ps... you can't actually learn TM in the UK at the mo coz of the iraq war. I think you can in Southern Ireland though. This will change when the labour government go out....
L
xx