Finding it hard to keep positive

Sparklyfairy

Hi, me again . I was thinking about you all night & I just had to see how you are....You clearly are a very honourable man. You have been through hell & back & you want to stand by your wife through her illness & the debts that have been acquired as a result. But at what cost? No one doubts that you love her & want to do the right thing by her & the debts, but you are only human.

Can I suggest going to see your GP immediately? Have a chat with him/her because I feel you could really benefit from some medication or if you're on them, perhaps a change of medication. You need to be able to see the situation with clear eyes & a clear head. Also if your wife is acting out on her compulsions again, she may also need to have her medication altered. I was in a 4 year relationship with someone with acute OCD & his illness was all consuming...it was exhausting.

I agree with the other person regarding the effect all of this must have on your children. Please see your GP, ok? xx

foxgloves

You do sound like a very nice man who deserves better. A while ago, I came across an interesting quotation which I sometimes appply to issues in my own life. It was (this is a paraphrase, as can't recall exact words but this is near enough) 'The definition of insanity is to carry on as usual, but to expect different results'. I think this makes me agree with a previous poster who suggests that you change your pin numbers so what money there is cannot be accessed. The causes of illlnesses can be very sad and the illnesses themselves can be personality-changing & make us behave in very irrational ways but when they are impacting so much on other people and stacking up so much stress & debt for the future, they either have to be dealt with by trained professionals or there have to be damage limitation exercises on the homefront such as allowing no access to money. It sounds as though you have had the patience of a saint......but even saints have limits x

henna123

Hi - I am new to this site and I dont know all of your background etc, But it seems to me that therea re a couple of short term solutions,

We have been supporting a young boy in Honduras for some years now and theres no place for the 21 I spend thereI know it may seem hard/harsh but that is £21 you need atm (is it a monthly payment?), You can start it up again when you are able to, What happens to all the things that get bought? are you able to return them? if not try ebay/amazon is the mobile bill monthly? could you swith to payg? how old are the children? I got a job at 15 when neither of my parents could work for health reasons, it may seem wrong to some people but it meant i bought my own treats and clothes and paid for my own lunches at school if i didnt want to take packed lunches, it wasnt something they asked me to do but it was something i could do. i am not saying send them out to work but if they understand a little more its amazing how it helps ( and i am not assuming you havent spoken with them if they are old enough just that i dont know) I found my best part time job was in a restaurant as you got tips, I used to leave them until the end of the month to save up and have a little more I probably owe more than you so I am not trying to teach granny to suck eggs etc just wanted to throw a few things your way, I do think you should both go back to your GP's and i cannot begin to understand how to deal with your OH's overspending.
Hope you get some good news soon x x
P x

RAS

Dear Jim

Thank you for explaining the background to your situation. You have been an amazingly good man, husband and father. You are very good at looking at the other person's situation and empathisinging with them and yet you do not give yourself that same consideration.

i do not have time to post anything much but will come back later.

Mrs_Moneypenny_3

Hello Jim
I came across your posts a few weeks ago and thought what a lovely, resourceful man you are and you gave me a bit of a boost. I don't know how difficult it is for you with your wife's need to have things but I can imagine how frustrating it is. I know how draining it is to try and earn a bit there, save a bit here and how some days you feel like running away from it all. As soon as I think I have a little bit extra one month, then something comes along, school, scouts, car whatever and I am worse off than I was before.
Wish I had something wise to say but I don't but for what it's worth you're in my thoughts and I hope you get past feeling like this soon
Take care of yourself, you are a bit of a star
MP