How do I discipline a 2.5 year old

liney

Perhaps he finds your reaction funny so is doing it all the more, so ignoring the behavior and redirecting him might work.

My DS is 2 and 4 months and we use the naughty corner with 2 warnings, but only with things that are dangerous or destructive. General misbehavior i move little fingers and find something that he can do. I also dont give long speeches - jumping on the sofa is ' sit down, or get off' for example.

My mother says boys are more difficult than girls when they are this age. *hug*

lil_me

Few things I will say

Whatever you try, try to make it positive. Rather than saying don't do XYZ say can you do ABC instead.

Distraction is always a good tool.

Time out in any way shape and form inc naughty step etc can work, but you must use it for at least 3 weeks to see any results and be extremely consistent, most parents who say 'doesn't work' either were not consistent enough or gave up.

Never give a child mixed messages, if you are going to make rules, praise and consequences make sure they stay the same or you will only confuse the child.

Taking things away is something I tend not to do or encourage if possible ever as the child will probably not even remember afterwards why it was removed and will only remember the consequence, making the punishment pointless.

With toddlers well worth looking into diet and how much sleep they have etc before trying to modify behaviour check the basics.

welnik

Thanks for all your replied.

I do think my daughter hasnt helped. I have caught her taking swipes at him and she does also wind him up. I caught her once, biting him! At the time, I said that he would remember what she had done and do the same to her when he was older.

She does also over-react. He loves to wind her up and make her react too. When he attacks her, I tend to put him on the naughty step and hug her so that he is not getting any sort of reward or attention for the bad behaviour.

He spends three days a week with a childminder and she says he is golden for her. He has never shown any aggression towards the other children she cares for. He does as he is told and never runs away. He is a totally different child. He is also well behaved for me when his sister is not around.

Today I took him to Wickes and there were no trolleys with child seats. Not the best. If he is in one of those he is easier to control. He kept running off and then when I caught him, he was refusing to stand up. I get worried about the running thing as we have recently moved out of a cul de sac onto a through road. He can just take off. He never does that with the child minder.

I find it very difficult to deal with him in public. If he is running towards a road, you have to chase after him and this fuels his bad behaviour even more. He is not quite so naughty with his dad and if his dad shouts he will get very upset and stop what he is doing. I know the advice is to try not to react when they are trying to wind you up, but when they are acting in a dangerous or destructive manner, you have to. Tonight, he went along my desk with his arm swiping all the things onto the floor. Whilst clearing that up he moves onto bashing the TV controls up the wall. When I sit him on the naughty step he just tries to find something nearby to destroy.

He just seems to be a very time demanding child. My daughter has always been very self sufficient and give her a wad of paper and sticky things and she is well away. She will play for hours with her dolls house. He seems to need attention every minute of the day which is just impossible to do.

His speach is not good for his age and I wonder whether this is another part of the problem.

For the last few months I have been having groceries delivered because its too much of a nightmare to take him anywhere and just not worth the hassle. I ventured into Sainsburys this morning and he constantly tries to escape the trolley. He can also undo his straps on the childseat and gets out whilst im driving. When I stop and put him back in he goes rigid.

Kids..................... who'd av em!

Elliesmum

funky-footprints wrote:

naughty step or time out has never worked with my daughter, my son would be mortified if you ever even looked at it.

What works best with my daughter is to take away something of hers that she loves. take it away for 10 minutes, half an hour, a day etc...all depending on how she has been.
x

I found this worked for my daughter and she's nearly 4 now. To be honest she has only really started to focus since she stared nursery school 5 weeks ago. She started playing up at about 2.5. It's like she woke up that morning and thought to herself, I'm now between 2 and 3 and I should be having tantrums! And did - for the next year!!!

Kids! :eek:

EM x

flossy_splodge

Ever watched a dog training programme? THere are lots of useful tips to be had.
If your child runs away and that could be dangerous make sure they are on reins. No they won't like it but that's the whole point, it's about teaching who's in charge - just like a dog. You let the child get the upper hand and that's the basis of the problem. I do NOT agree that a quick smack on the legs is of no use. With a child under about 3 (depending on its state of development) all the explanations in the world are water off a ducks. Ignoring bad behaviour and hugely endorsing good is definitely the answer UNLESS there is imminent danger in which case a smack on the legs acts as a sharp reminder not to do that. But frequent smacking iis just as bad as it loses its 'surprise' effect. My younger daughter was just horrendous from the age of 1 to about 18 months. She didn't actually DO anything, just screamed and was unruly. In this case the more she screamed the more cuddles she got and the more I told her I loved her UNLESS she was actually naughty. In that case she got a smack. She is now the most beautiful well behaved 23 year old you could wish to meet . She knows right from wrong and has integrity in all her dealings and often says to me that I taught her there are consequences to bad behaviour. It worked for me. Maybe it could work for you. Whatever road you choose, do it with love and remember they all grow up so darned quick you'll soon be looking back and wondering what got you so worked up. Honest. x :A

saverstacey

I am a school Nursery teacher and have 2 boys of my own with a 3rd due to be born in 3 weeks! I think that a lot of the suggestions that have been made can work, but you must be consistent and in control at all times. Timeout, sticker charts, positive praise, taking away toys can all work and all have their place, but consistency with both children is the key. Children are very astute and will quickly pick up on differences and inconsistencies in the way they are expected to behave. In my experience, 2-5 year olds need to know where the boundaries are in order to feel secure and in knowing what is expected of them they are able to acheive and suceed. Every child likes to feel they are pleasing their parents and that they are 'good'. It is very easy to get into a pattern of being 'naughty' and then the child feels they are 'naughty' and so it goes on. Another thing I think is really important is to 'pick your battles' and concentrate on which aspects of the behaviour are the most important to maintain. For instance, if my 3 year old refuses to put his trousers on the right way round, I just ignore it (who cares which way round his trousers are?) He is trying to assert his independence and I let him. However, if he is rude or shouts at me when I ask him to put his trousers on then he would get put on the naughty step for 3 mins and then he would have to say sorry to me for being rude.

Above all, you are the parent and you are in control. This little person trying to assert his independence is actually looking to you to show him the boundaries and the consequences of his actions, both good and bad.

BTW, my children are not angels by any means! They will run round tesco screaming at times like any other child- I would rather that than a child who is so frightened of punishment that they don't say boo to a goose- but there are limits........ HTH

Dumyat

no two kids are the same and boy did I find that out. I agree with the pick your battles but you have to be consistant, not only yourself but Daddy too. that was our biggest hurdle. daddy who spent less time with them let them do whatever when he was in charge...mixed messages.
we used the ignore tactics with my daughter..she was the attention seeker. with my son that didnt work because that was what he wanted if you know what I mean. Its working out what makes them tick and using that. It works even now, for my daughter grounding is the best but grounding doesnt work for my teenage son. For him taking the cable for the modem to work with me works a treat!!

Its different when they are young though because safety is an issue..and I'm sure the little darlings play on that while they run for the nearest busy road.

Becles

If mine were naughty in shops, I used to grab them by the wrist so they couldn't wriggle free and just drag them along while I continued shopping, totally ignoring their behaviour. They would scream, yell and try and make themselves heavy to pull away, but I never loosened my grip and I never even looked at them. After a few minutes they realised they were not getting any attention from me, calmed down, then I'd involve them again in whatever I was buying.

It worked for me, but you have to be prepared to put up with stares from other shoppers!

Hazel01

Probably a long shot, but have you looked at his diet? My son seems far more sensitive to additives and so on and behaves very badly after sweets, party food etc. It might be that your son has a food intolerance.
Or perhaps he is growing and has growing pains (like my son) or for another reason is not sleeping that well, hence the bad behaviour because he is tired...

My son is now 5 and my daughter is 7 but they still wind eachother up. My daughter looks as if butter wouldnt melt, but has the uncanny ability to wind my son up in about two seconds, then he gets the blame for kicking off!

Good luck with your little boy.

Gingham_Ribbon

Sticker charts and rewards for good behaviour might be worth a try. Any toy thrown gets taken off him. If he plays nicely he gets to choose and add a sticker to the chart. If he thinks smart and starts throwing his sister's toys, remove him to another room until he says sorry.

My son's not a thrower or a hitter, but he scares me to death with his antics. Leaping off things, trying to walk along the back of the sofa...they seem to have a LOT of energy. Maybe lots of extra trips to the park and encouraging him to walk rather than use a buggy might wear him out?