unmarried & splitting up who gets what?

JollyM

First time I have posted a forum thread! Firstly thanks in advance for anybody you takes the time to help me out with any advice.

I have recently seperated with my partner of six years. Initially she moved out for a week with our two children (3 yrs and 10 months) to her parents house. Now she is coming back and I am moving to my mothers house.

I orignally bought the house and all its furnishings before I met my partner and as our relationship developed asked her to move in.

She brought nothing with her not even a car and made no contribution to the mortgage or deposit of the original purchase.

During the entire relationship I have been the only one bringing in a wage and have made all the mortgage payments, paid all bills and conducted and paid for all the home improvements.

That said she did bear two beautifull children with me and is a fantastic mother. During the good times when the children arrived I added her to the mortgage incase something happened to me. This was to ensure that she would get the house and thh life insurance policy would pay of teh remaining mortgage. It was peace of mind for me that my family would be OK with me not arround.

If we cannot save our relationship (which I do want to do) what are the options for the house?

I cant afford two mortgages and for the time being I will continue to pay all the bills for the house including the mortgage whilst we have some time apart, how ever this will only leave me with about £200 a month and me living at my mothers.

There is approximatly £120,000 in equity in the house some of which my mother paid £25000 towards teh the mortgage when my father died.

I put down the original deposit of £55000

Now if the worst happens and we do split I do intend to give her something and absolutly make sure my children are OK, I won't skimp, and just try to be the best dad I can even though I wount be there every day in person.

However I am worried that I will have to start all over again and that she would get everthing.

We are unmarried.

I look forward to any advise people can share with me.

All the best JollyM

opinions4u

Try to negotiate an agreeable settlement with her, and then get a solicitor to draw up the contract.

If not, this is going to be an expensive business and the lawyers will take a large chunk of what you've built up together.

Please prioritise the kids ahead of any self-interest. It sounds like you will do, but it's easy to get distracted and lose that focus in these circumstances.

The post below mine makes a lot of sense too.

http://www.relate.org.uk/home/index.html

lisyloo

My advice would be to put all your efforts into saving your relationship and don't worry about the money for the time being.
Worry about the money when you have 100% decided that the situation is irretrevable, otherwise you are splitting much needed mental/emotional capacity.

Have you tried considered marriage guidance/counselling?

JollyM

Thanks for your input,
It didnt really answer my question. Even though I bought the house before meeting her, and payed for everything as the only wage owner. Would the split of thh house and its contents still be 50/50 or would it be proportionate to her finacial input which has been zero.

Now I do intend to give her something but my question is what is the something? or is there some kind o fformula or general rules that I can use as a guide.

JollyM

Thanks lisyloo,
I have indeed, I even booked a session at relate and phoned citizen advice. I see it as the only way forward. Some guidance could only do us some good. But she wont go at the moment. I'm hopefull we will pull out of this nosedive but I am not sure we are going to make it. So I just wanted to know where I stood, options and considerations.

zzzLazyDaisy

JollyM wrote: »

Would the split of thh house and its contents still be 50/50 or would it be proportionate to her finacial input which has been zero.

You say you added her name to the mortgage - in order to do that you would also have to put the house into joint names. Assuming that it is a straightforward 'joint tenancy' then she is legally entitled to half the net proceeds of sale. The fact that she has not made any financial contribution is irrelevant. (There is another form of ownership called 'tenants in common' where the house may be registered in unequal shares - if you think this is the case, you need to check the position, but this is more unusual and I think you would have remembered if you had registered the house on that basis).

If you were married the courts would have had the power to adjust the shares of the property on divorce, but they have no such power if the joint owners are unmarried (having said that, as the parent with care of the children the property division would probably have gone in her favour anyway).

HalfPint

Hi JollyM,

I am unsure and this is only my thoughts, but I suspect she would be entitled to a minimum of 50% as she is on the mortgage. If she was not on the mortgage or title deeds, I believe she would have no legal claim on your house. (please someone correct me if this is wrong)

You need to be seeking professional legal advice from a solicitor, even if you hope to resolve your issues, it will help you know where you stand should the worst happen.

HP x

Errata

Have an initial interview with a solicitor who will tell you the legal position. Your OH contributed by staying home and looking after your kids, and this will be taken into account.

Hermanmunster_2

Sounds to me like you should be getting your £55000 Deposit out and your Mums £25000 out total £80000 and splitting the rest of the equity gain between you so that’s £20000 each .You could be more than generous and give her the full £40000 gain but I would certainly be wanting my initial personal outlay money back especially if you’re not married and she didn’t contribute equal money to the purchase of the house. You will of course have all the normal obligations towards your children.

UnderPressure

I agree with the general theme you need some professional advice you really need to go and see a solicitor to weigh up the legal side of things............

My understanding and please only take this with a pinch of salt I am by no means any great legal expert but this is my hunch if you like, after 6 years and 2 children I have a felling she may be now classed as your common law partner, in which case again you need professional advice but I think the marriage certificate is irrelevant and I think she may be entitles to half of everything plus maintenance, if this is the case you may not even be able to sell the house until your kids are at an appropriate age.

I say again take this with a very large pinch of salt it is just my own thoughts and by no means come from anykind of legal background.

I would if I was you, if this is the course you are definately going down I would be trying everything I can to make the whole thing as amicable as possible for 2 reason, firstly and most obviously the sake of your children and secondly you are never going to get her to agree to anything, certainly anything in your favour unless you can keep the whole situation "friendly".

Whose idea was it for her to move back into the house and you move out? If it was hers I would suggest she may have already checked out the legalities and may be 1 step ahead of you already, as a mother she has to make sure her and her childrens futures are as secure as they can be you really cannot blame her for this its a natural mothering instinct to make sure the "nest" is secure.

I hope it all works out it may well effect things if somebody is to "blame" for the break up due to a specific action of some sort such as adultery or domestic abuse only you know the full circumstances.............

I do hope it all pans out for you either way, get yourself down to the local divorce solicitor and seek some professional advice, you cannot decide for sure until you know the legalities properly.

Best of luck

sharpy2010

Lets hope that the situation is resolvable, and the two of you are able to work out your differences and stay happily together.

However, assuming that this is not the case, we need to know a few facts so that we can help give a realistic idea of possible settlement between the two of you.

Is she going to be as rational in her thinking as you were in the above post? If so, I think the following might be a basis for the settlement -: You get £80,000 which is your initial deposit and mothers input. You give your partner the remaining £40,000 so that she can make a reasonable go of things herself. That would be a pretty fair way of doing it, and if you could both agree to this, it would be the cheapest option financially.

If she is not going to be rational, and tries to grab everything for herself, then it would basically be gloves off time, I suppose.

Lets hope though, that the situation can be resolved without the need for a split.