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Has being OS made you lonely?

edited 30 November 2010 at 5:25PM in Old Style MoneySaving
22 replies 11.8K views
2

Replies

  • Being OS hasn't made me lonely, though I do wish I interacted with OS minded people in my personal/real life rather than mostly just online. I can only echo the suggestions of others that you might find it rewarding to get involved in voluntary work or share your talents with others via starting up a small group of your own. i think it might be a bit too much for soe of us to take on, to start up and run a group when there isn't already one in existance, but i suppose it depends how much energy and inclination one has :-)
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  • zarazarazarazara Users Awaiting Email Confirmation
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    yes definately. its also made me really resentful of paying for coffee and cake on the rare occasions we get to go out (like twice a year). In this respect it has spoiled things for me. Also, because I am OS out of necessity and not lifestyle choice ,it can really get me down. Having to do home baking and soups etc because we are always short of money. It can get very wareing.
    "The purpose of Life is to spread and create Happiness" :j
  • HermiaHermia Forumite
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    I do find that the more people I talk to the more I find that they are closet OS'ers.

    I totally agree it with that. I'd say that most of the OSers I know don't look it. They are not SAHMs, they live in London and they do enjoy London life. But, many are into cooking from scratch, crafts, leading a eco-friendly life etc. We all love going out in London, but we mainly go to free/cheap exhibitions and events or craft groups etc. OP - I think if you start chatting to people you will be surprised how many will understand what you are doing. If you join things like craft groups I'm sure the people will 'get it'.

    I also wouldn't dismiss non-OS people. Some of my best friends are not MS! I think the friendships can work as long as the non-MS person isn't always wanting to go to expensive places. And also as long as the MS isn't always being judgemental about her friend's choices. I have a OS friend who constantly judges for friends and colleagues for how they live their lives and wonders why people avoid her!
  • Angel_JennyAngel_Jenny Forumite
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    I have only just started the old style thing so I can't say it has made me feel isolated.

    I feel like the odd one out most of the time any way, especially around people my own age. I just have some very old fashioned ideas! I get described as either a 1950's housewife or a Victorian so not very modern whichever way you look at it.

    I wouldn't say I feel isolated apart from when I am the only person with a certain view. It does make me feel like I stand out though, which I hate, as I really don't like being the centre of attention and someone saying "you believe WHAT????" makes me super shy!

    The only people I know that think like me are in a home making forum and they are all living in America. It is nice to have that support but it would be fab to know people in real life.

    Angel Jenny :A
    If you love life, life will love you back.
  • I kind of feel a little isolated, but only because I work with men, and the 1 woman on site prefers going out drinking then being organised or thrifty!

    My mum criticises my OS choices, but before she got into debt she used to applaud!

    My MIL criticises because I make her lood bad!

    My SIL doesn't understand the hours I put into gifts, instead of paying £20 for something perfect!

    My Sister appreciates my efforts, she told me she wished she could be more like me.

    But I find I don't know anyone IRL that is likeminded, most people say 'I don;t know how you find the time' or 'I wish I were more organised....' but all the time it ends in '...I can't be bothered!' or 'I don't have the time'
    We spend money we don't have, on things that we don't need, to impress people we don't like. I don't and I'm happy!
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  • Another thing to remember is that a lot of people who do not seem OS, may well have OS hobbies - a lot of people love to grow veg, make their own bread, sew, knit, be as green as possible etc. Just because they don't self-describe as OS doesn't mean you don't have a lot in common. People have all sorts of reasons for being OS, and all sorts of ways of being OS (which is just what this forum often celebrates). A lot of people who try and live sustainably may not call themselves OS, but would probably fit well with your way of live - is there a 'green' group in your area? I think sometimes OS folks feel they are very judged by the non-OS, but forget that often the non-OS types feel very judged by an OS type - because they might see OSers as being more sustainable, making more intelligent choices about life etc. etc.

  • alec_eiffelalec_eiffel Forumite
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    Hermia wrote: »
    I totally agree it with that. I'd say that most of the OSers I know don't look it. They are not SAHMs, they live in London and they do enjoy London life. But, many are into cooking from scratch, crafts, leading a eco-friendly life etc. We all love going out in London, but we mainly go to free/cheap exhibitions and events or craft groups etc. OP - I think if you start chatting to people you will be surprised how many will understand what you are doing. If you join things like craft groups I'm sure the people will 'get it'.

    I also wouldn't dismiss non-OS people. Some of my best friends are not MS! I think the friendships can work as long as the non-MS person isn't always wanting to go to expensive places. And also as long as the MS isn't always being judgemental about her friend's choices. I have a OS friend who constantly judges for friends and colleagues for how they live their lives and wonders why people avoid her!

    I couldn't agree more.
  • dandy-candydandy-candy Forumite
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    Thankyou so much for the responses, it's lovely that you are all so supportive and kind. I have been out of work for so long now, and as I can often go days without speaking to anyone outside of my immediate family it can really make me feel I have nothing worth saying or offering to other people. I think the volunteering is a great idea and also doing a course, I would love to be good at gardening so I could grow our own veggies so i'm going to look into that too!
    Angel_Jenny I know exactly what you mean - I think I was born in the wrong era, I get all my advice out of pre-1950's books and magazines - my kids think i'm barking mad!
  • HimeHime Forumite
    75 posts
    You sound as if you have oodles of talent, so you could also offer to teach people some of your crafts and or set up a little business selling them on line. Being old style is so IN now, so you are miles ahead of many who want to get back to their roots.
    Charity shops are always looking for help, but there are also places like hospitals and homes. Good luck.
  • bluebagbluebag Forumite
    2.5K posts
    The major cancer hospital near me is often looking for 'greeters', voluteers that show patients the way to X-ray or clinic or whatever.

    They are generally looking for someone with empathy and a bit of life experience.

    There must be plenty of opportunities in London.

    The olympics generally will need masses of volunteers, so that might be worth looking out for.

    With regard to friends, it may be useful to join a crafting class or a dry wall building session or green workshop type of thing, somewhere you are likely to meet people of a like mind.

    I have few friends for this reason, but those I do are the same as me and I would trust them with my life.
    I have loads of 'mates' though , a very different thing.
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