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Has being OS made you lonely?

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Has being OS made you lonely?

edited 30 November 2010 at 5:25PM in Old Style MoneySaving
22 replies 11.8K views
dandy-candydandy-candy Forumite
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edited 30 November 2010 at 5:25PM in Old Style MoneySaving
I still totally believe that the OS life is the right choice for me and I love planning home cooked meals, knitting and making things for the house and family - BUT - I do find it really lonely! I know there's loads of people on here with similar interests but my "real life" friends aren't OS and don't really get why I like it :(
I have been a SAHM since I had my first baby (18 years ago) but now all my kids are at secondary school and although I didn't mind being at home before (always plenty to keep me busy crafting!) now that the years have gone on I am finding it less appealing. I'm very fortunate that my DH has always been supportive of my wanting to be at home and we didn't need an extra wage, but now I would like to broaden my horizons but keep to my OS values! What do I do with my life now? I know I could never fit into the average London life of working in an office, and my CV isn't likely to impress anyone who isn't OS themselves! Please help me out with this :o

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  • wmfwmf Forumite
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    ooooh what about volunteering? You have so much to offer! People who have stayed at home are constantly working, juggling, prioritising - think of all the financial/ budgeting skills you have as well. I used to run a volunteer centre in a smallish market town and our volunteers were very special! Maybe have a look online to see your nearest branch? Volunteering is also a great way to get up-to-date references, experience etc if you want to go to paid employment. Wishing you well with this.
    Oh - another thing - look out for OS meets. I think they happen reasonably often in London??? Then you can meet lovely peeps from here and share ideas.
    W
  • I still totally believe that the OS life is the right choice for me and I love planning home cooked meals, knitting and making things for the house and family - BUT - I do find it really lonely! I know there's loads of people on here with similar interests but my "real life" friends aren't OS and don't really get why I like it :(
    I have been a SAHM since I had my first baby (18 years ago) but now all my kids are at secondary school and although I didn't mind being at home before (always plenty to keep me busy crafting!) now that the years have gone on I am finding it less appealing. I'm very fortunate that my DH has always been supportive of my wanting to be at home and we didn't need an extra wage, but now I would like to broaden my horizons but keep to my OS values! What do I do with my life now? I know I could never fit into the average London life of working in an office, and my CV isn't likely to impress anyone who isn't OS themselves! Please help me out with this :o
    Was just gonna suggest volunteering too :).
    Something like HomeStart/SureStart where you could maybe pass on home-making/OS skills ?
    OS and home-making skills are seriously under-rated, people are starting to realise, but sadly very slowly!
    In the meantime there is always us on here to moan to/chat too/smile with.
    Shame I am a good 700 miles away, as you sound like a very helpful friend to have!
    xxx
    :heartpuls :heartpuls :heartpuls
  • Penelope_PenguinPenelope_Penguin Forumite
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    my "real life" friends aren't OS and don't really get why I like it :(

    I have been a SAHM since I had my first baby (18 years ago) but now all my kids are at secondary school and although I didn't mind being at home before (always plenty to keep me busy crafting!) now that the years have gone on I am finding it less appealing. I'm very fortunate that my DH has always been supportive of my wanting to be at home and we didn't need an extra wage, but now I would like to broaden my horizons but keep to my OS values! What do I do with my life now? I know I could never fit into the average London life of working in an office, and my CV isn't likely to impress anyone who isn't OS themselves! Please help me out with this :o

    I'm beginning to realise that I'm really unusual - my family and the vast majority of my friends are Old Style, so it's just what we all do, and what we talk about. I may be a bit more extreme than they are, but they all love me for it :D

    I got back into work by volunteering at CAB. I never intended it as a way back into paid employment, but a 6hr/wk job for 3 months came up, which it wasn't worth advertising externally. I applied,was the only candidate, was "interviewed" and got the job. That was 6 yeras ago, and I've steadily increased my hours from there.

    Write out what you do - organising, time management, multi-tasking, delegation, trouble shooting, etc, etc, and you'll be amazed at what skills you have :T
    :rudolf: Sheep, pigs, hens and bees on our Teesdale smallholding :rudolf:
  • lessonlearnedlessonlearned Forumite
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    Hi there

    Do you need to work for financial reasons?

    If you are not desperate for money at this stage you could try helping in a charity shop, whilst you have a think. I do this at a Scope shop and love it. All the helpers are natural mse'rs/os'ers and most of the customers too. It might also give you some ideas about what kind of job you might like to do. (I am definitely not a 9 to 5 office type, although I had to do this for many years and never really enjoyed it).

    When I get the time I do a few car boots/table top sales. Unfortunately my husband is now disabled and I don't get the opportunity very often. My long term goal is to start a little antiques/craft business working from home with the odd antiques/craft fair and a bit of online trading.

    I'm also looking into joining the WI because I'm sure that many of the members would be OSers too. Apparently there are several very good groups in and around London - it's considered very trendy. I can't remember the title but there is a very good book by India Knight which is all about OS (she's a big fan of Martin and MSE). The book has a lot of info about crafting and particularly mentions the WI groups in and around London. (If not you could try their website for your nearest branch).

    I do find that the more people I talk to the more I find that they are closet OS'ers. I think that more people are aware of the need to be
    OS - whether for money saving or trying to live a more sustainable and "green" lifestyle. I think that in the past it might have seemed a bit unfashionable but not any more. I'm nearly retirement age but I know loads of under 30"s who are seriously into crafting/recycling etc.

    You are definitely not alone.
  • Hardly any of my friends are OS but that doesn't lead to isolation. When we were first getting out of debt a lot of non friends disappeared, when we weren't out spending money all the time and stuff they dropped away. That was hard at the time but it's funny to me now.

    Some of our friends now have lots of money and do spend lots but it's not a problem for us. We still go out with them but we buy less stuff. Everyone likes a bargain so one friend loves the fact that we both research everything to make sure we're buying the right thing - him because he likes to know he has the best, me because I like to have the best for my money - it's not quite the same thing but it works. Whenever people come over we just have the visit set up as a relaxing time doing whatever we fancy. I've found that people really like coming here as it's just a time to chill and not do anything at all. Half the time we don't end up doing what we've planned and we will just sit about chatting. So it's not an issue, it's just all about setting it up in a certain way. When people know it's about the luxury of spending time together and not about scrimping then nothing else matters!
  • if you're crafty (or want to be) have a look at local groups for crochet/knitting/card making etc. Our local library has a notice board which groups use to advertise their meeting times etc. It can be scary joining a new group as often it seems a bit cliquey. Sometimes the group can be cliquey but often it's just that everyone knows each other and it take a bit of time (on both sides) for you and them to get to know one another. Somebody mentioned WI, which sounds good. A free or cheap college course is also a good way to get involved in your community. Might also be worth looking at charities local to you where you could help (obviously charity shops but often other areas - helping with children's reading, prison/sick visiting etc.)

  • hi

    why don't you look out for any meetings held by your local transition towns groups?

    I am sure they would welcome someone with such OS skills as cooking seasonal meals from scratch, various crafts, making and mending, etc etc

    art
  • Volunteering sounds like an excellent idea.

    Is there anything that you have always wanted to study? Adult education courses can be quite cheap. Whilst there will be some outlays, financial help may be available. This will widen your horizons and social circle too and give you something to add to your CV.
  • You sound such a lovely person and someone who I would gladly meet up with and share our interest.
    There are lots of great ideas on here and I'm sure whatever you decide, you will be a real asset.
    I know alot of schools really appreciate the help from volunteers with craft, reading and helping children with their literacy and numeracy.
    You might prefer to offer your time to being a volunteer in Adult Education, supporting adults with additional needs.
    You will need to be Police checked for these but if you ask at a local volunteer centre, I am sure they will be able to offer you some advice.
    If you are 50 or over then have a look at the University for the Third Age - lots of interest groups etc on there.
    Good luck.
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  • How about...

    ...if you are good at creating cheap, healthy menus: volunteering as a cook for meals on wheels, working as a school/care home cook...

    ...if you are good at repairing things (eg clothes, curtains): advertising that you are available for small repairs and sewing jobs - my mum does this and charges £10 a pair to simply take up trousers! People are happy to pay too... and she generally offers to drop off and collect when people are home, so many people are happy to pay for the convenience. Only you know how good you are and what you are happy to take on, but there are lots of people who need someone to do little repairs.

    ...making nice crafty type things... sell them at charity bazaars, join etsy and sell things or just donate them to a local charity shop...

    ...renovating furniture cheaply: volunteer at a charity shop that does lots of furniture and suggest that you will renovate donations to sell in the shop, if they will cover your (minimal expenses)...

    ...showing other people how to do things? Why not set up informally a crafting group (advertise in local craft shops) to do a different sort of project each week - a sort of stitch and gossip place. Charge people enough to cover hiring the venue and to cover cups of tea and a few biscuits. You could even do this as a more formal course if you were very confident of your skills (eg 'a thrifty homemakers' class - one week menu planning, one week on basic clothing repairs, one week on budgeting, etc - cover whatever you are interested in!). Or why not offer to do a demonstration to your local wives group or similar?

    Hope that gives you some ideas which don't involve office work!
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