Meal Planning Advice Needed

canspendnomore

I'm sure there is a bette place for this question, but I wasn't sure where so please move it where it best fits. Thanks.

I used to meal plan reasonably well, but now my mother lives with us (for the past year) and we have completely different tastes in food. I don't really want to get into cooking different meals for us and her, but I'm finding it very difficult accommodating the differences. I am most definatley on a tight budget as we're in a mess debt wise, so I can't afford to keep cooking meals that don't get eaten.

For example, I've just done spinach and ricotta pasta. We both love it, but she wants it with a few fried tomatoes and I'll have a cheese sauce. Problem is neither likes it the other way and she'll say it makes her ill and wont eat it.

I'm getting very disheartened as I'm finding her very difficult to feed. I try my best to compromise but we do have very different tastes. There is obviously a bit of common ground, but we can't live on those.

To make matters worse I have a 3 year old who doesn't like trying new things at the moment, though I can get him to eat his fruit and veg, just as long it's in a format he's used to!!

Any ideas of how I can stick to my budget and still keep everyone happy would be gratefully received.

Thx

betterlife

what about doing some batch cooking, get her to write a list of what she likes, if its not the same as you then cook up double quantities of what she does so you always have something in the freezer, same for meals for you. does she help financally towards the food bill? i know she`s family but if she`s being fussy its making it more costly for you. good luck

Fruball

Sorry, can't help much here but definately empathise. My ex MIL was a freakin nightmare... Would only eat really plain food and on occasions would push food around the plate with her fork saying "eughhhh what is THAT?"

It got to a point that I just retorted with the same contempt as her "ITS FOOD, EAT IT" or "Look, everything on your plate is edible so stop poking it - if you don't like it, LEAVE IT" She was lucky she didn't end up in a pot!!!

I always made an effort to make nice food for his family but I don't think it was ever appreciated - when the nephews and SIL came it was like a hoard of locusts on my buffet type lunch and they left barely anything for anyone else... and never said thank you... and when we went to them we eventually offered to go and get fish and chips as it was getting late and nothing was happening in the kitchen department :mad:

On a practical level, could you batch cook a load of stuff she likes and freeze it so when you want a nice meal, you can throw it in the microwave... It might get repetitive for her but thats the choice, either eat what you are eating or have another one out of the freezer?

Fruball

betterlife wrote: »

does she help financally towards the food bill? i know she`s family but if she`s being fussy its making it more costly for you. good luck

I was wondering that... also, is she able to cook? If so, why not suggest that she cooks a couple of times a week?

canspendnomore

She does cook very rarely - usually cooked in a way I don't like. My kitchen is a bit like my life at the moment, chaos, which she says she can't cook in.

I'm sure that some of why she's so fussy is that she'd rather be living on her own doing things her way - she's waiting to get her own place - so hopefully things wont be like it for too much longer. Probably a little symptomatic of us living together too. It's not going too well really.

She contributes a small amount to the household budget, but I'd rather she saved her money for her house so she can afford to move.

She's not really happy with us all having different meals at the table, even if they are only out of the freezer. I have to agree to some extent, I don't want my 3 year old thinking that different meals at the table are alright. I don't want to start something that will cause me a problem when there's just us again. I can usually find meals that we all like as we're less fussy when it's just us.

I guess I'm back to praying the conveyancing and building work wont take long. Where's the valium?!?!?!

Frugal - I'm trying to work out how my mother can be your MIL, but it's not coming together. Maybe a parallel universe!!! Never thought of putting her in the pot. Mind you we'd never agree what sauce to cook her in!!!

wssla00

Is there not a way to accommodate her for the time being? Why not make individual portion in smaller pots and cook them in the oven at the same time?

E.g. My mum hates spaghetti Bolognese but likes cottage pie. I on the other hand hate cottage pie but do the base pretty similar then add the extras to the individual portions, then cook them up. Otherwise I make up a load of them and freeze them so when they are needed they can be popped in the oven when needed.

It just takes some time to gel together. Good luck!

tori.k

we have this problem with 3 out of 5 veggies and one with food issues i plan most are meals around one thing, like tonight was mash two had sausages &mash one just had a veggie sausage butty and i used the rest of the mash to top a quorn cottage pie, tomorro it will prob be rice, mushroom risotto, rice & chicken & wraps,plain mushrooms & rice & wraps.
Its still a pain but not as bad as cooking 4 complete different meals

sarahsarah

IMO if someone is a guest in your house, they should be a bit more respectful! You decide what meals are best for you and your family, if she wants to eat with you then like it or lump it i say! Don't put yourself out cooking different things for different people! Maybe if she doesn't want to eat what you are eating she can stay away during meal times and take herself off to the shop for a ready meal to be eaten after your little one is in bed!

Pitlanepiglet

You have my sympathy, we have my 76year old Dad with us and have been dealing with all of these issues. I'd guess you're entirely right that the food problems are just a symptom of the other problems and TBH I doubt that different dishes will solve the problem as food isn't the actual problem (IYSWIM?)

How much do you want to solve this? I suspect your Mum feels like she's lost her independence and feels that she ought to be the parent but isn't and you feel resentful that you're having to deal with her whilst dealing with all the other things in your life.

Ideally you need to have a chat about how you both feel and try to reach some compromises about how you'll deal with food (and anything else that is bothering you). Other than that you need to look for a solution that works - you currently seem to be focusing on why things won't work which isn't going to get you very far but I imagine that's down to the way you feel about the whole situation generally.

I'd go for batch cooking and letting her eat what she wants, I know what you're saying about your 3 year but the issues that you're currently having around food don't set a good example to your LO anyway and don't teach him how to manage conflict in a sensible way.

Good luck, it won't be forever x

Long_tall_sally

I agree with Piglet but some of the comments have really made me laugh! I am actually dreading my Mum coming to stay at xmas & that's only for a week as the only veg she will eat is from a tin & she will only eat very plain food.

Linda32

Hi,

I'd be the same if my Mother lived with us, you do have my symathies, as it must be hard to say the least.

I sometimes shop for my Mum and she seems to exist on Pork Pie, Cheese, Whipped Cream and Tea, she announced last week that she would try half a cucumber, then if it didn't suit she'ed only wasted half a cuc!

As for a solution, does she like soup, cheap enough to make a decent batch, and easy enough to re-heat whilst you do the meals that you all want.

Best wishes and good luck