Moving onwards, the family home and making it MF. LP diary pt2

gratefulforhelp_2

LilacPixie wrote: »

Anyway HV been and gone, had a go at me because Ava was sleeping in her basket beside me on her side/tummy. Did the she shold be sleeping on her back blah cot death etc etc. So i told her it was my 3rd time arond the block, DD3 is happier on tummy, she is 6 inches away from me and my risk assesment is while i'm keeping an eye on her then she can nap on her side or tummy. Night she is always on her back bt never settles as well.

A bit of life experience goes a long long way. Woman needs to develop ways of saying things that don't get people's backs up, and realise that each mother is the expert in their own child.

LilacPixie

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

A bit of life experience goes a long long way. Woman needs to develop ways of saying things that don't get people's backs up, and realise that each mother is the expert in their own child.

too right but unfortunatly most HV's i have came accross are robots trained to read little scripts and rattle off 'current guidance'. Did you know babies should not be bathed for the first 2 weeks of their lives?? could stop the cord stump from drying out according to 'current guidance' I ignore and trust my instincts...

LilacPixie

I think I need to up my game... I have been speaking to DH about 'things' The plan was DD3 was our final baby and DH was getting the big snip later this year.. for reasons unknown (probably because i am a nutty cow) I don't want him to be snipped I am obviously mad because I could not cope with another pregnancy and 3 kids ranging from 2 week to 4.5 is enough for anyone but still i am not 'ready' for the certainty of no more kidlettes. Yes i'm nuts its probably hormones.

Other piece of enlightened information is this place is fine for the 5 of us as is at the moment.. us plus 3 teenagers will be a different matter. Our aim is to be MF in just under 10 years.. that would put the girls at 14, 12 and 10 so now we are thinking that being MF forever by that date might be pie in the sky.. Looking at 4 bed houses in areas with decent schools.. Some looking about suggests we would ned to be spending around 150k for a 4 bed 100 yo semi needing the usual work a 100 year old house needs. Looks to be mostly sound with good windows and roof its just decor, kitchen, bathroom and has no central heating.. I would guess a rewire also needed. Looking 170-210k for 'done' houses ranging from new builds to 1930's type semis or detatched. variable sized garden and parking too. Currently this place is worth 135k. Assuming house prices increase or stay stagnant at the same rates then we could be looking at having to find another 75k for a bigger home.

This house is a semi, we can extend out to one side or up into the attic but to be honest I think for the cost of that in comparison to what value it would add to the property I would rather buy the 150k fixer upper type property and well fix it up... We are both reasonably handy, have family who are tradesmen that can access the trade only places plus do work for us (gass fitters and electricians) so..... I have been thinking that for now we stick to current plan which is DH pays his debt with his earnings.. surplus funds after budgetted things and after CC bill paid dh uses to overpay his debt therefor saving interest. Amounts 'saved' by me spending less on something or cashback or other incidental amounts goes to the mortgage.. if we need to go over budget on something then it goes on the credit card and is paid when bill is received..

LilacPixie

Currently a substancial part of DH's debt is a loan that ends May 2012 or there about 16 payments to go apparently.. and it is £480 a month :eek::eek::eek: He has other things mostly student loan and overdraft which should also be clear before that date so we are looking at around £800 a month extra by that stage with roughly 100 mortgage payments to go to our MF date.. I am now thinking if we can get a bit of a break with the SVR come December 2012 and wage rises over the next 5 ish years that we could be in a position to be totally MF and have a nice little buffer of savings by 2021 or at the very least a larger home than current property but a much smaller mortgage... :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: Its trying to get the balance right I guess.. moving to bigger house without breaking the bank but the fact we probably will need a mortgage means considering minimum amount we could borrow. Also if debt and mortgage free we could be saving £1500 a month + on current wages and realistically closer 2k :eek: isn't that scary.. we 'take home' around 3.5k a month so with no mortgage to pay we could easilly 'live' on £1500 a month without making lifestyle adjustments I would imagine..

Easy seeing i'm getting better I am focusing on the detail and numbers now..

Ten percent off at approved foods this weekend and my mum wanted an order so i did that for her and slipped some more 00 flour and naan bread mix in for me plus some scone/doughnut mix and more noodles.. I use the stuff so may as well take advantage of the not having to pay postage and mum was offer and stock my store more..

gratefulforhelp_2

LilacPixie wrote: »

too right but unfortunatly most HV's i have came accross are robots trained to read little scripts and rattle off 'current guidance'. Did you know babies should not be bathed for the first 2 weeks of their lives?? could stop the cord stump from drying out according to 'current guidance' I ignore and trust my instincts...

What a load of boswelox. If they are plastered in green poo, they need a bath:eek:

LilacPixie wrote: »

I think I need to up my game... I have been speaking to DH about 'things' The plan was DD3 was our final baby and DH was getting the big snip later this year.. for reasons unknown (probably because i am a nutty cow) I don't want him to be snipped I am obviously mad because I could not cope with another pregnancy and 3 kids ranging from 2 week to 4.5 is enough for anyone but still i am not 'ready' for the certainty of no more kidlettes. Yes i'm nuts its probably hormones.

Well known phenomenon. I am currently in the OMG what have I done? Camp...snip is looking like a great plan from here:rotfl:

cha97michelle

OMG woman. How far in the future is your head?

New houses, rennovations? Possibility of more bambinos? I know what you mean as i still think if i wanted to i could have another baby for at least another 10 years and wouldn't want to remove the option as then you would know you couldn't. But can you imagine any more under a certain age? And all those teenage hormones in the future.

LilacPixie

oh i know... all through the pregnancy he was getting snipped.. i was dne and that was that but now i'm thinking hmm im 30 i could have 15 years availible to have a 4th that a final no just seems premature..

Michelle - I work about 24-36 months in the future... this house is done decore wise for a good few years.. kitchen looks to be 18 ish months old and bathroom similar the biggest issue is we only have 3 bedrooms. Can you imagine puberty with 3 teenage girls and only 1 bathroom the a shower and bath.. I dread it..

Well NSD her today.. I made carrot and corriander soup and some nice cheese rolls which we had about 2 ish. DH just did a freezer special for the kids teas fishfinger and alphabites.. I think we will have a spanish omlette later tonight once kids asleep..

sarahevie

LP just been speaking to an old school friend. She's my age (26) blokey 12 years older.

She had her kids early 19/21 (was convinced she wanted only two). Now life has moved on, they are in a lovely mortgaged home, he's a higher tax payer so they are fairly comfortable. She works part time. Both girls at school. A lot of the old lot are now having kids (mid twenties)

She is desperate for him to get it reversed - he won't - got her a puppy:rotfl:I can't believe she made him get it done when they were only 22/34.

As for house issue - it's the same debacle as us (extending wouldn't add the value it would cost).

Our Three beds is ok for 3 under 10 kids I reckon. (I def want another waiting til Evie DD1 is four though, she's currently 2) and have to work on D I've had very difficult pregnancies emotionally and he's not sure he can do it again. If I can he bloody can:rotfl: -

I do think we'll need to move up when they start having friends over etc.

My mate had a house same as ours til hers were almost 8,5 and two. So think that gives us about 6 years as her house was getting small for them.

mummalove

Lilacpixie with all of that going round in your head...do you ever sleep? :rotfl: Crikey you have so many options ahead of you...but things have a way of working themselves out for the best.

I am 41 with a 15 yr old DS...my DH is 45 with a 19 yr old DS. When we first met, we had the 'do we want children together' discussion and we both 100% agreed that we did not...and got a cat instead Having said that, I have waited 7 years just to be sure and only now am ready to make the permanent decision I want to be sterlised, most probably later on this year. DH is totally ok with that...

One of the deciding factors was my ex-husband's g/f has fallen pregnant (unplanned) at 53 :eek: Now each to their own and all that, but jeez that is not for me nor would I ever want to make a decision what to do either

So what I am saying is, if you have any feelings towards having more children in the future, please don't rush into anything permanent and both of you take time...you have plenty of it ahead of you

cha97michelle

Hon. It might not be all as bad as you are thinking. I have 2 sisters. We were all teenagers at the same time. We all shared a bedroom. We also lived with my grandma, and have a younger brother. So, by the time i was 18, my sis were 16 and 13, and my brother 5. We had a 4 bedroom house, with one bathroom with bath, sink and loo, and a downstairs loo. You live with what you have, so if you can afford it all well and good, but it is not an entitlement, so if they can't have it they will have to put up. I have to say, we found it harder as there was no shower, but we all got on well, and were allowed friends to stay.

I agree i am a bit in the future in that i want the mortgage gone in the next 3-5 years, and i have ideas of a few nice hols with the kids when that is gone. I am also trying to think of the next couple of DIY bits in our house over the next 18 months or so.

Seems a shame you have only just moved and already thinking of the house as unsuitable in the future. I guess because i love my house and can't picture us not here.