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Arnoldrimmers debt diary
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arnoldrimmer
Posts: 6 Forumite
I will begin my debt diary without a realistic prospect of ever being debt free but to give me a chance to focus and if anyone can suggest anything it will be appreciated, or needs help getting to sleep they could read it all.
I owe roughly £25,000 and all but one has now defaulted. I'm not sure of the total figures and see little point contacting as different agencies seem to write to me depending on what mood they're in. Would love to go bankrupt but there's no way I can afford the fees.
Last spoke to CCCS before everything defaulted, they recommended bankruptcy as my best option. Have not contacted them since as can't see what else they could do.
I gave up answering the phone as there's only so often you can tell people you have no money spare.
On the plus side I have recently cleared the arrears on gas, water and phone so only £90 owing on electic and the utilities are all square.
On the downside I have a meeting tomorrow to see if I can get a "discretionary housing payment" from the council as I don't have enough for the rent next month, let alone the council tax.
Unfortunately they base it on previous months income, on the basis of which I don't qualify.
My income fluctuates as its a seasonal job. I also get housing benefit. I have my son 75% of the time but his mum gets the child benefit and tax credit for him. She refuses to pay me half the child benefit each month as I'm "emotionally blackmailing her for it and I should just get another job". This being the same person who when I worked full time told me I was only doing that to get out of having to be a parent so I can't win on that one!
This month I will be paid £328 (by my calculations). I will get £39 housing benefit.
Outgoings:
Rent £550
Council tax £197 (this month, normally ranges from £45-£114per month), the calculation assumes I will be paid £900 per month between now and next March
Car insurance £29
Housing benefit overpayment recovery £10
Tax credit overpayment recovery £8
Electric £30 (£10 of which is to clear arrears)
Gas £20
Water £20
Petrol £40-£80
Food £50 (covers me and my son for the month, we don't eat well but at least we eat)
House phone £21.50 - arrears now cleared, can it be lowered?
Mobile/broadband £10
Last month I was paid £900 (6 months of holiday lieu pay of £500 in that) and got £326 housing benefit (based on earning less the month before), allowing me to clear gas arrears of £140 and put £80 towards electric arrears, I still have £150 left in my account now after last months bills but need it towards next months rent though I will still be short for direct debits, or direct debits can go out but can't pay rent. Landlord lives abroad so can't contact him to discuss it.
I sold the TV two months ago, the car is only worth £400 or so but that might have to go next which would mean quitting work as its 20 miles away with no public transport, childminder is 6 miles in the other direction. MOT not due until May but tax due in January.
I sign on as doing under 16 hours a week but can't get JSA as I get paid monthly in arrears so am earning too much until next month at least. Still get NI conts though. I apply for two or three jobs a week but keep hearing nothing, not even a "You're crap, go away" response.
I have aspergers with related obsessions, anxiety, stress, migraines etc but can't get DLA as I "need help but don't need help for several hours per day".
My son has some of the aspergers traits which apparently is also my fault according to my ex, in her words "If he'd just had you looking after him he'd turn out to be a complete F@@k up just like you have".
I think the most positive thing I do each day is get out of bed to look after my son as just want to stay there and never get up again.
Can't sleep well for worrying if I will have enough money to last month by month. Got told off by my ex for not having the heating on for my son, despite the fact I can't afford it to be on. Grrr. It's bulk tank storage for the whole street so can't shop around for cheaper.
I doubt anyone is reading this far but I'm going to carry on regardless.
Financially I would be best off unemployed as cost of petrol versus jsa and housing benefit would pay for the roof over our heads. I don't like the idea of having no job at all as suspect I wouldn't get another one.
It was summed up when I got a "staff recognition" award the month before last for excellent customer service of £150 bonus pay which meant I lost £200 of housing benefit for that month. I'd have been better off financially being crapper at work. Is that confusing for anyone else or just me?
I owe on around 5 credit cards and a loan, and two overdrafts but have my new main current account with co-op so am safe for earnings to go in. Around £2500 on each card when they defaulted, a £400 overdraft with Natwest, a £200 overdraft with HSBC and a £8000 loan with HSBC. Now all no doubt much higher with fees etc. I also owe my brother £550 (first months rent when I lost full time job) and my sister £900 (bond and months rent from when I broke up with my ex) but have no chance of paying them back either.
Would it be worth me sending £1 per month to each creditor or is it too late for that? I just ignore their letters at the moment. Would love for them to take me to court and make me bankrupt like they keep threatening but it has yet to happen.
Have sold most of what I own on ebay and amazon, all that's left is what wouldn't sell.
Am owed £500 in tax rebate but won't get it until end of the tax year.
My son has clothes thanks to ebay and the childminder who has given me her sons hand me downs. He always eats even if I don't sometimes. We spend lots of days out in town/parks with packed lunch as it means I'm not in moping and he's not bouncing off the walls.
Is it worth me going to the GP for any help headwise? Last time I went he didn't seem interested at all, even when I mentioned the suicidal thoughts I often have. My mum keeps wanting me to have a social worker/CPN to help me but I wouldn't even know how to find out how to ask for one or if they could actually do anything for me.
Feel like George Bailey on the bridge (guess the film?) but when I look back everyones lives would have been better if I wasn't around than if I was.
Rough background: lost my full time job last October when new boyfriend of my ex decided to make false allegations to my employer about me for a laugh (haha), my employer chose to believe him without any evidence. (very long story cut short, can elaborate if needed)I was forced to resign, and have only been able to find part time work since. Went from £20,000 per year, paying the credit cards minimum payments etc to my current £5000 per year. They did separate after he threatened to kill her and my son and then pretended to try and kill himself, but was too late for me by then.
Am on council house waiting list but am only entitled to a one bedroom place as I don't count as a parent because I don't get the child benefit for my son. Have been on the list for 6 months.
There's nowhere cheaper privately round here, that's if the credit check didn't just laugh at me. Nobody wants a houseshare with someone with a child either.
Housing benefit is also based on a single bedroom in a shared house, again I don't count as a parent so can't get benefit for the two bedroom place I'm in.
My ex told me I deserved it all for not being nicer to her when we were together.
She has just been given a new build two bedroom house for £350 per month with her new man. So each time I drop my son off at hers I see the double glazing, underfloor heating, shiny new carpets (costing £1600 as she happily told me), his huge bedroom, allocated parking etc and wonder how long before he starts saying he doesn't want to spend time at my house anymore.
The original debts built up over a ten year period of earning not enough to pay the rent and bills and using credit cards to make up the difference, when I got a full time job was slowly paying them back until that ended.
Would love to make money from writing but I used to think my writing was good but now I can't see how that could be the case, given how everything else I touch turns to crap (except my son I hasten to add, who puts up with the poor lifestyle with me stoically enough). Am also realistic enough to know about 1 in a million makes money from writing.
Basically I'd like someone to tell me is it all right to feel this crap about things or am I whinging for no reason? I keep thinking at least I have a roof over our head but I also keep thinking what if she's right? What if I am a waste of space, who can't provide for my son and can't get a decent job because I don't want to work and hide behind the "Aspergers excuse".
Am going to add more to this later but going to post it now so it's there for me to come back to and carry on with. And at some point will probably be asking for eviction help if things continue this way.
I owe roughly £25,000 and all but one has now defaulted. I'm not sure of the total figures and see little point contacting as different agencies seem to write to me depending on what mood they're in. Would love to go bankrupt but there's no way I can afford the fees.
Last spoke to CCCS before everything defaulted, they recommended bankruptcy as my best option. Have not contacted them since as can't see what else they could do.
I gave up answering the phone as there's only so often you can tell people you have no money spare.
On the plus side I have recently cleared the arrears on gas, water and phone so only £90 owing on electic and the utilities are all square.
On the downside I have a meeting tomorrow to see if I can get a "discretionary housing payment" from the council as I don't have enough for the rent next month, let alone the council tax.
Unfortunately they base it on previous months income, on the basis of which I don't qualify.
My income fluctuates as its a seasonal job. I also get housing benefit. I have my son 75% of the time but his mum gets the child benefit and tax credit for him. She refuses to pay me half the child benefit each month as I'm "emotionally blackmailing her for it and I should just get another job". This being the same person who when I worked full time told me I was only doing that to get out of having to be a parent so I can't win on that one!
This month I will be paid £328 (by my calculations). I will get £39 housing benefit.
Outgoings:
Rent £550
Council tax £197 (this month, normally ranges from £45-£114per month), the calculation assumes I will be paid £900 per month between now and next March
Car insurance £29
Housing benefit overpayment recovery £10
Tax credit overpayment recovery £8
Electric £30 (£10 of which is to clear arrears)
Gas £20
Water £20
Petrol £40-£80
Food £50 (covers me and my son for the month, we don't eat well but at least we eat)
House phone £21.50 - arrears now cleared, can it be lowered?
Mobile/broadband £10
Last month I was paid £900 (6 months of holiday lieu pay of £500 in that) and got £326 housing benefit (based on earning less the month before), allowing me to clear gas arrears of £140 and put £80 towards electric arrears, I still have £150 left in my account now after last months bills but need it towards next months rent though I will still be short for direct debits, or direct debits can go out but can't pay rent. Landlord lives abroad so can't contact him to discuss it.
I sold the TV two months ago, the car is only worth £400 or so but that might have to go next which would mean quitting work as its 20 miles away with no public transport, childminder is 6 miles in the other direction. MOT not due until May but tax due in January.
I sign on as doing under 16 hours a week but can't get JSA as I get paid monthly in arrears so am earning too much until next month at least. Still get NI conts though. I apply for two or three jobs a week but keep hearing nothing, not even a "You're crap, go away" response.
I have aspergers with related obsessions, anxiety, stress, migraines etc but can't get DLA as I "need help but don't need help for several hours per day".
My son has some of the aspergers traits which apparently is also my fault according to my ex, in her words "If he'd just had you looking after him he'd turn out to be a complete F@@k up just like you have".
I think the most positive thing I do each day is get out of bed to look after my son as just want to stay there and never get up again.
Can't sleep well for worrying if I will have enough money to last month by month. Got told off by my ex for not having the heating on for my son, despite the fact I can't afford it to be on. Grrr. It's bulk tank storage for the whole street so can't shop around for cheaper.
I doubt anyone is reading this far but I'm going to carry on regardless.
Financially I would be best off unemployed as cost of petrol versus jsa and housing benefit would pay for the roof over our heads. I don't like the idea of having no job at all as suspect I wouldn't get another one.
It was summed up when I got a "staff recognition" award the month before last for excellent customer service of £150 bonus pay which meant I lost £200 of housing benefit for that month. I'd have been better off financially being crapper at work. Is that confusing for anyone else or just me?
I owe on around 5 credit cards and a loan, and two overdrafts but have my new main current account with co-op so am safe for earnings to go in. Around £2500 on each card when they defaulted, a £400 overdraft with Natwest, a £200 overdraft with HSBC and a £8000 loan with HSBC. Now all no doubt much higher with fees etc. I also owe my brother £550 (first months rent when I lost full time job) and my sister £900 (bond and months rent from when I broke up with my ex) but have no chance of paying them back either.
Would it be worth me sending £1 per month to each creditor or is it too late for that? I just ignore their letters at the moment. Would love for them to take me to court and make me bankrupt like they keep threatening but it has yet to happen.
Have sold most of what I own on ebay and amazon, all that's left is what wouldn't sell.
Am owed £500 in tax rebate but won't get it until end of the tax year.
My son has clothes thanks to ebay and the childminder who has given me her sons hand me downs. He always eats even if I don't sometimes. We spend lots of days out in town/parks with packed lunch as it means I'm not in moping and he's not bouncing off the walls.
Is it worth me going to the GP for any help headwise? Last time I went he didn't seem interested at all, even when I mentioned the suicidal thoughts I often have. My mum keeps wanting me to have a social worker/CPN to help me but I wouldn't even know how to find out how to ask for one or if they could actually do anything for me.
Feel like George Bailey on the bridge (guess the film?) but when I look back everyones lives would have been better if I wasn't around than if I was.
Rough background: lost my full time job last October when new boyfriend of my ex decided to make false allegations to my employer about me for a laugh (haha), my employer chose to believe him without any evidence. (very long story cut short, can elaborate if needed)I was forced to resign, and have only been able to find part time work since. Went from £20,000 per year, paying the credit cards minimum payments etc to my current £5000 per year. They did separate after he threatened to kill her and my son and then pretended to try and kill himself, but was too late for me by then.
Am on council house waiting list but am only entitled to a one bedroom place as I don't count as a parent because I don't get the child benefit for my son. Have been on the list for 6 months.
There's nowhere cheaper privately round here, that's if the credit check didn't just laugh at me. Nobody wants a houseshare with someone with a child either.
Housing benefit is also based on a single bedroom in a shared house, again I don't count as a parent so can't get benefit for the two bedroom place I'm in.
My ex told me I deserved it all for not being nicer to her when we were together.
She has just been given a new build two bedroom house for £350 per month with her new man. So each time I drop my son off at hers I see the double glazing, underfloor heating, shiny new carpets (costing £1600 as she happily told me), his huge bedroom, allocated parking etc and wonder how long before he starts saying he doesn't want to spend time at my house anymore.
The original debts built up over a ten year period of earning not enough to pay the rent and bills and using credit cards to make up the difference, when I got a full time job was slowly paying them back until that ended.
Would love to make money from writing but I used to think my writing was good but now I can't see how that could be the case, given how everything else I touch turns to crap (except my son I hasten to add, who puts up with the poor lifestyle with me stoically enough). Am also realistic enough to know about 1 in a million makes money from writing.
Basically I'd like someone to tell me is it all right to feel this crap about things or am I whinging for no reason? I keep thinking at least I have a roof over our head but I also keep thinking what if she's right? What if I am a waste of space, who can't provide for my son and can't get a decent job because I don't want to work and hide behind the "Aspergers excuse".
Am going to add more to this later but going to post it now so it's there for me to come back to and carry on with. And at some point will probably be asking for eviction help if things continue this way.
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Comments
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Okay, breathe, calm down and try to relax. You've made a huge first step writing on here and should be proud of yourself. You're raising your son who loves you. You're chosing to work rather than live on benefits and are getting out of bed every morning rather than moping. And you have every right to feel desperate, but you're looking it in the eye and want to do something. Give yourself some credit for that.
I don't know enough about the ins and outs of bankrupcy etc, but I'm sure someone who does will be along shortly. It doesn't seem right that you get no help towards looking after your son financially, again not my area of knowledge, but I'm sure someone will be able to give you some advice.
There will be a way out of this, try to believe that.[STRIKE]Total debt 1.11.10 £23,446[/STRIKE]Save £6k in 2015 #129 £6121.66/£6000Save £6k in 2016 #39 £6000/£60000 -
Didnt want to read and run, sorry cant offer any real advice, apart from possibly visiting the CAB for some advice on your situation and whether they can help out by speaking to benefits office etc?
Best of luck for your future and I bet your son really appreciates and loves his dad
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There are some good bankruptcy people around i am sure they will be around with advice shortly. Miche and Angel but many others have good advice too. They have all been in similar circumstances and turned things around.
With regard to the depression, anyone having any suicidal thoughts must go to see their doctor, please make an appointment on Monday. There are lots of help they can offer and it will be one less worry on your mind.
Focus on getting better psychologically by thinking of your dear son - having a father around who fought his dragons and won will empower him to cope. You have worth in many ways and must keep believing in yourself. Posting on here is a fantastic start.
Good luck and all the best petal.Aiming for a minimal spend 20220 -
Hi Rimmer
I really admire you for posting on here, it sounds like you have gone through a truely rotten time. I spent years with an ex who 'put me down' at every opportunity, it's awful. You are obviously not a failure, you are bringing up your son and if you were such a bad person and father sure 'miss perfect' wouldn't want her son living with you!
I'm afraid I know nothing about bankruptcy so no advice there. However, it is not right that your son lives with you 75% of the time and yet she gets the Child Benefit and Tax Credits, you really need to get that altered and that would then entitle you to more Housing Benefit. Also, are she and boyfriend both working? If so you should approach the CSA as even with shared custody they should be paying you maintainence for your son, this will be based on the fact he is with you the majority of the time. I think she has had you emotionally over a barrell for too long, making you think it is your fault that you are struggling financially, you are infact supporting her lifestyle by not claim what you are entitled to. For your son's sake you need to rectify this situation as soon as possible.
Hope this helps, good luck and don't let the barstewards get you down.
321
PS if you want help from a CPN your GP should be able to refer you to your local service.REPAYMENT PLANBarclaycard £6700 0% repaying at £300 pmLOAN [STRIKE]£14000[/STRIKE] £9352 - DFD September 20220 -
Hi rimmer
Firstly welcome & well done on starting your diary. The main thing is to get advice so that whatever action you take is informed & properly advised.
Don`t beat yourself up over the debt.....it happens & can get out of control so very quickly....sometimes without us noticing & often by circumstance such as the loss of a job, illness, bereavement & that debt soon brings us down...it is well recognised as a trigger for depression & illness.
Bankruptcy (if you chose that route) will remove all the unsecured debt....immediately on the day of your declaration albeit at the cost of £600....however you will still need to be able to afford to live after BR which means a sustainable budget as there will be not safety net of getting credit afterwards.
Your GP will help with your state of mind & remember your health is worth so much more than the debt you have .....if the debt is making you ill then something needs to be done IMO.
See if your council has a Welfare Rights Officer....they can help with referrals & benefits/housing etc as well as support...if you need DLA assistance they can help with that too.
Citizens Advice (a debt advisor) will also support you on the debt side. I was ill when my debt crisis started & my CAB Advisor sent all the letters & supported me through every step....for which I will always be grateful.
In terms of offering a £1 you can send a letter with a financial budget statement & tell them that you are trying to sort the situation out...usually send a postal order attached to the letter. It is very unlikely that any of your creditors will make you bankrupt (that is just a threat they use)....it costs them about a £1000 & they get nothing back so they won`t do it unless you have realisable assets.
On the housing side it is good that you are on the Council list....but don`t forget the housing associations too..CAB & Shelter will be good place to get a list of who is in your area & advice too.
Lots of info there & I guess your head is spinning but you are starting to sort this & that is a very positive move. This is your life & your future....so don`t let anyone make you feel worse.....you will sort this out & you will find a better platform from which to face that future.
Sorry...I waffle on alot but I do understand....I took the bankruptcy step earlier this year...not my preferred route but on advice it was the last resort for me. 8 months later & I have my life back & although it was incredibly tough it has given me a completely new start.
Take care....do PM if you want to talk.
Angiexx0 -
savingwannabe wrote: »There are some good bankruptcy people around i am sure they will be around with advice shortly. Miche and Angel but many others have good advice too. They have all been in similar circumstances and turned things around.
.
Thanks SW....xx0 -
Hi there
check whether you can get a loan off parents or some one to pay the fees to go bankrupt?
I would go and see another GP if your current one wasn't interested in the fact that you had suicidal thoughts.
I think you are doing very well under the circumstances. I would also suggest going and seeing the CAB about the child benefit situation. If you have your son for more than half of the time, then surely you should get it? Or she should be paying you maintenance.
cheers
chevI want a job that is less than an hour driving away from my house! Are you listening universe?
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