Is it worth going to the CSA?

yimmin

My partner has two young children from a previous relationship which broke down just over 18 months ago. Since I moved in with her and the kids she has lost most of her benefits and credits.
In the past week her ex has decided that he is now going to keep a wardrobe with clothes for the kids in his parents house where he lives. He asked for the few (I mean very few) items of clothes he had bought back. My partner refused on the basis that over the past 18 months she has bought practically everything that the kids have worn bar a few fake items he bought back from one of his frequent holidays this year.
At the news of this he turned around and said that he was going to stop paying the nursery fees for the kids (his only financial contribution £50 p/w) and go to the CSA and agree around £30p/w. He thinks this is what he'll be told to pay due to him being a taxi driver and only earning around £5000 a year.
So far he's managed to lie to get legal aid for court cases regarding the kids which is costing us thousands, bought a 7k car for work, been on 4 holidays (Turkey, Thailand, Amsteram & Majorca) in the past 6 months, sold his old car for 2k cash and rented their old property out.
We've written to legal aid to advise them that we believe that he is making a false claim but cannot prove anything as all his money matters are in his mothers anme and paid in cash.

Is it worth us going to the CSA to get them to investigate the case?

So far I'm very dissappointed with the court system and any other legal/government body related to these matters. As I'm not the childrens parents I have no rights at all over them. I don't want to take them away from their dad in any way as I know how much they both love him and enjoy spending time with him but it seems like I'm left with paying and bringing up his kids while he swans in looking like the hero with presents, days out and holidays abroad.

Can anyone offer my partner and I any advice as she's ready to give up and let him have whatever he wants and I can't let that happen as I know she'll regret it later in life. The stress is just becoming too much for her.

Kimitatsu

Is he likely to stop paying - if she tells him that they will have to leave nursery if he does? If its a bit of cage rattling and he is making threats then take a deep breath and try and work it out amicably.

If he DOES stop paying then take it to the CSA, if he is only getting £5k a year on paper then ask for a variation to take into account the dividends which he gets (it isnt done autonatically) and if that brings up nothing then apply for a variation on the basis of lifestyle inconsistent with earnings. The money from the property that they both had will be taken into account, and if he has put it into his mothers name and you can show the bank account trail then it will be taken into account.

Its never easy and the only advice I can really give you is dont give up - it has taken a lot of us on here many years to get a decent assessment for our children, but put the needs of the children first rather than get involved in the pettiness of the arguments.

As for parental responsibility, you can apply for that at any time with the permission of both parents, so there is no need for you to feel side lined if you want to be a bigger part of their lives - although that may be a thread for another day!

Good luck

yimmin

Thanks for that Kimitatsu, it's info to move forward with.

I'm not sure what he's going to do, it's unfortunate that he's more of a child than the kids. We've told him that if he does stop paying we'll cover the cost of the childcare when in our custody and that he'll have to make alternative arrangements for his time with them be it him paying for that time or having to look after them himself.

I know exactly what you're saying about the kids first which is why we're both adamant that we don't stop him having the contact that he already has. This is between us and him and they should never have to know anything is going on.....smiley faces up front hey.

How would I go about acheiving parental responsability if you don't mind me asking?

DUTR

yimmin wrote: »

My partner has two young children from a previous relationship which broke down just over 18 months ago. Since I moved in with her and the kids she has lost most of her benefits and credits.
In the past week her ex has decided that he is now going to keep a wardrobe with clothes for the kids in his parents house where he lives. He asked for the few (I mean very few) items of clothes he had bought back. My partner refused on the basis that over the past 18 months she has bought practically everything that the kids have worn bar a few fake items he bought back from one of his frequent holidays this year.
At the news of this he turned around and said that he was going to stop paying the nursery fees for the kids (his only financial contribution £50 p/w) and go to the CSA and agree around £30p/w. He thinks this is what he'll be told to pay due to him being a taxi driver and only earning around £5000 a year.
So far he's managed to lie to get legal aid for court cases regarding the kids which is costing us thousands, bought a 7k car for work, been on 4 holidays (Turkey, Thailand, Amsteram & Majorca) in the past 6 months, sold his old car for 2k cash and rented their old property out.
We've written to legal aid to advise them that we believe that he is making a false claim but cannot prove anything as all his money matters are in his mothers anme and paid in cash.

Is it worth us going to the CSA to get them to investigate the case?

So far I'm very dissappointed with the court system and any other legal/government body related to these matters. As I'm not the childrens parents I have no rights at all over them. I don't want to take them away from their dad in any way as I know how much they both love him and enjoy spending time with him but it seems like I'm left with paying and bringing up his kids while he swans in looking like the hero with presents, days out and holidays abroad.

Can anyone offer my partner and I any advice as she's ready to give up and let him have whatever he wants and I can't let that happen as I know she'll regret it later in life. The stress is just becoming too much for her.

You may as well open a csa case, but the 3rd party may have already done the maths to fathom that he will be better off if you do.

Kimitatsu

<H4 jQuery1289736894056="15">Can the mother's new partner have parental responsibility for my child?

The mother’s new husband can acquire parental responsibility by either (a) a parental responsibility agreement (b) by the court making a parental responsibility order following the step-father’s application or (c) by having a residence order made in his favour (a joint residence order with the mother would be the norm). The mother’s new boyfriend/partner cannot have parental responsibility for your child – only her husband (or girlfriend, if she is in a formally recognised civil partnership).

Should the birth father himself not have parental responsibility, the mother (all mothers have parental responsibility) can, without the birth father’s agreement, enter into a parental responsibility agreement with her new husband [CA1989 s4A(1)(a)]. If you, the birth father have parental responsibility your agreement is required. You will not lose your parental responsibility should you enter into a parental responsibility agreement or the court makes an order giving the step-father parental responsibility.

Some birth fathers strongly resent another man having parental responsibility for his child whilst others recognise that if their child spends a great deal of time with the step-father, particularly if the step-father cares for the child alone, then it makes sense for that adult to have parental responsibility. Of course, we would expect the birth father to have parental responsibility too.

Allowing a step-parent to acquire parental responsibility was brought in by the Children and Adoption Act 2002 in order to address the circumstances in which step-fathers would apply to adopt the child in order to acquire parental responsibility. Prior to the Act around a quarter of all adoptions concerned step-parents. An ‘unmarried’ step-father, though he cannot acquire parental responsibility by way of a parental responsibility agreement or order can, if in an ‘enduring’ relationship with the mother, still adopt the child.

</H4>
Basically you download a form from the HMCS website and ask for the order to be granted - very few are turned down to be honest, it doesnt need a solicitor to go to court for you you can do it all yourself and as it is in the family court the hearing is relatively informal.

The notes accompanying the PRA Form give full instructions as to how to go about this. Currently, there is no charge for making such an agreement. The following points should be noted:

* Step-parents must apply on C(PRA2).
* The child must be resident in England or Wales.
* A separate form must be filled in for each child.
* All parents with PR and giving consent, and the prospective parents must attend with documentary evidence of their identity.

If the father does not agree to the parental responsibility order you can still ask the court to rule, as it would be in the best interests of the children but it means that you have to provide more evidence to the courts of your enduring attachment and why you would need it (so for school, medical consent etc)

Speedster can probably give you more advice than I can - pm him as he has dealt with other cases similar to this.

Other than that - keep smiling!!

speedster

yimmin wrote: »

As I'm not the childrens parents I have no rights at all over them. I don't want to take them away from their dad in any way as I know how much they both love him and enjoy spending time with him but it seems like I'm left with paying and bringing up his kids while he swans in looking like the hero with presents, days out and holidays abroad.

i'll give you some great advice.

keep out of matters that don't concern you.

i had my exes new partner poking his nose in for a while. my ex got told by the judge in my case to tell her fella to keep his beak out of matters that do not concern him. his EXACT words were "if you don't tell him, i will summons him to my court and tell him myself"

the matter is between the PARENTS. it has naff all to do with you, and with the attitude you have by your post above, it's little wonder the father has his heckles up. your involvement will only enflame the situation.

i'm guessing there is a lot more to this story as he has had to fight in court to see his kids. generally, NRP's only end up in court as a last resort.

speedster

just to add, as the father has a contact order and PR, you'd be more likely to see monkeys flying outta my butt before a judge granted PR to any other party.

shell_542

I'm wondering what the reaction would have been if a Step-mother had posted saying she thinks her step children Mother is an idiot and she wanted PR. She would have been shot down in flames. You may have best intentions at heart, but you will not get PR if their father is involved in their lives and he doesn't agree.

shell_542

Also, if he's earning £5000 a year on paper and you think it'll be hard to prove he's earning more, then is it really worth risking him stopping paying the childcare costs and paying less child support a month, just for the "very few" and "fake" items of clothing he has asked back.

It's entirely up to your partner, but on the other hand, maybe she would rather lose the £20 odd pound a week and know he has no hold over her on the finances front.

I think you may have a bit of a struggle with variations from reading threads on this forum.

pink_princess

Is it really worth all this ? Just give him the clothes ,why do people like to make things hard .

speedster

shell_542 wrote: »

I'm wondering what the reaction would have been if a Step-mother had posted saying she thinks her step children Mother is an idiot and she wanted PR. She would have been shot down in flames. You may have best intentions at heart, but you will not get PR if their father is involved in their lives and he doesn't agree.

that's where you're wrong. stepmother or stepfather makes no difference.

my wife does not get involved in matters regarding my daughter. she supports me, but afaic, it's my daughter with my ex and it is up to us to deal with it. i wouldn't dream of letting my wife get involved.

like i posted earlier, my ex does not have the same attitude. fortunately, the judge agreed with me on that one.