Father contributing to baby stuff

arbroath_lass

EastMidsGal wrote: »

Thanks so much for the responses, I wasn't sure if he did have an obligation to help provide before the baby is born. So now I can see he doesn't have a legal obligation I would have thought morally he would still have liked to contribute.

Surely he will need to buy things for the baby for his own home too, though? E.g. cot, care seat etc.

Maybe you could, instead, make a list of things the baby will take with him or her when they go to Dad and ask him to contribute to them instead?

scottishchick27

I don't understand why you are texting him, wouldn't it be a lot easier if you phoned him and asked him outright?

Loopy_Girl

emsywoo123 wrote: »

Answered your own question there Loopy, well done. :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Not really.

Your case is you moaning on about your ex's drinking and how bad a person he is etc

The OP here was asking as a person who recognises that a child needs 2 parents.

EastMidsGal

scottishchick27 wrote: »

I don't understand why you are texting him, wouldn't it be a lot easier if you phoned him and asked him outright?

Because he has his phone turned off permanently it seems, every time I try and phone him it goes straight to his answering machine

balletshoes

EastMidsGal wrote: »

Because he has his phone turned off permanently it seems, every time I try and phone him it goes straight to his answering machine

okay so if I were you, I'd just get on with planning the pregnancy/baby and what it needs by yourself. Text him with anything that you do buy from the list which you sent him, so there can be no confusion about what the baby has or hasn't got.

Doesn't he have a landline you could call?

EastMidsGal

His last known address is his parents, I could phone there but would end up speaking to his mother or sister and since his sister has been calling me some pretty nasty names on FaceBook since I broke up with him, it would be an uncomfortable conversation I really don't need.

I want to give him the opportunity to be as involved as possible, but I am only going to bust a gut chasing after him so far. I wonder if his communication will be better when it comes to choosing the name and registering the birth

Loopy_Girl

EastMidsGal wrote: »

His last known address is his parents, I could phone there but would end up speaking to his mother or sister and since his sister has been calling me some pretty nasty names on FaceBook since I broke up with him, it would be an uncomfortable conversation I really don't need.

I want to give him the opportunity to be as involved as possible, but I am only going to bust a gut chasing after him so far. I wonder if his communication will be better when it comes to choosing the name and registering the birth

Just continue with trying to enjoy the pregnancyand I would agree with other poster about texting him if/when you buy any big things (cot, pushchair etc) in case he is buying them instead of giving you money.

Keep it civil and let him know how you are if you have scans etc but I would then leave it at that - let him do the running.

If it comes to it after the birth and he is showing no signs of offering a regular amount of maintenance then tell him you will need to go to the CSA as you are legally allowed to have a financial contribution from him.

EastMidsGal

He emailed me back and has offered to put £350 straight into my bank which is wonderful and I am seeing it as a bonus. He also said he wants to sort things out amicably, I hope we do, cos the last thing I need is stress with a new baby and with the ex lol

DVardysShadow

EastMidsGal wrote: »

His last known address is his parents, I could phone there but would end up speaking to his mother or sister and since his sister has been calling me some pretty nasty names on FaceBook since I broke up with him, it would be an uncomfortable conversation I really don't need.

I want to give him the opportunity to be as involved as possible, but I am only going to bust a gut chasing after him so far. I wonder if his communication will be better when it comes to choosing the name and registering the birth

Don't let mother and sister colour your outlook on your ex!

EastMidsGal wrote: »

He emailed me back and has offered to put £350 straight into my bank which is wonderful and I am seeing it as a bonus. He also said he wants to sort things out amicably, I hope we do, cos the last thing I need is stress with a new baby and with the ex lol

It's a long way to go from here, like 20 years, but assuming you do get the money, its a good start.

Googlewhacker

EastMidsGal wrote: »

He emailed me back and has offered to put £350 straight into my bank which is wonderful and I am seeing it as a bonus. He also said he wants to sort things out amicably, I hope we do, cos the last thing I need is stress with a new baby and with the ex lol

As opposed to seeing it as a father to be doing the right thing?