What would you do in my situation?

dannimaycox

Hi, i'm 19 years old and i have a form of muscular dystrophy and need 24/7 care from my mum. We live in a 4/bedroom rented house with my grandparents. The problem is, everybody is ALWAYS arguing. 3 generations living under one roof, you can probably imagine what it's like. It's making me depressed, i'm miserable all the time, it's like walking on egg shells because i never know when they are going to start. It's particularly my mum and nanna who argue, i tend to stick up for my mum most of the time and then i end up falling out with my nanna aswell. The atmosphere is so uncomfortable.

They've had a big argument today, my uncle was here and he started intefering, in my nannas eyes my uncle can do no wrong and she worships the ground he walks on.

I'd love for me and my mum to have our own place but i don't think the council will rehouse us because this house has been adapted for me. What would you do in my situation? I don't know if this was the right place to post this question but i just need some advise.

Valley's_girl

Hi Danni
Just a suggestion could you explain to your mam and nan how the arguing is upsetting you, and see if they can work something out so that the atmosphere improves.

I am not sure about the rehousing suitation. But if you talk to your family about how the suitation is making you feel hopefully things will be more calmer at home.

Keep your chin up love
Take care
ally xx

Oldernotwiser

If it's your mother and grandmother arguing I think that you would be better to keep out of things rather than sticking up for your mother and ending up arguing with your grandmother. It is, after all, your grandmother's house and having siding against her can't be easy ,particularly after giving yourself and your mother a home.

You can't do very much about other adults' relationships but you can make sure that nothing that you're saying or doing is making the situation worst.

MRSTITTLEMOUSE

I can't help you with the rehousing question but I'd say I agree with Oldernotwiser when she says you can't do very much about other peoples relationships.
It's probably hard to do but it's best if you can try and stay neutral and not side with anyone,let them sort their grievances out themselves.
It should'nt need to involve you at all.
It must be realy uncomfortable to have to deal with this,I realy feel for you.
Take care.

Lakelady_2

I would say that at 19 you should be able to have some sort of independant living with additional care. Can you phone Social Services or housing for some advice?

Oldernotwiser

Lakelady wrote: »

I would say that at 19 you should be able to have some sort of independant living with additional care. Can you phone Social Services or housing for some advice?

But the OP says that the council have already paid for changes to the current property to make it easier for her. You can't really expect both,

mumps

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

But the OP says that the council have already paid for changes to the current property to make it easier for her. You can't really expect both,

I think they will look at circumstances, I know a young man who is very disabled. His parents house was adapted for him and then he wanted to be more independent and got a housing association place. It is a lovely new house and has been adapted for him.

To the OP, speak to local authority or housing association and see what might be available for you. It can't be good for any of you.

dmg24

mumps wrote: »

I think they will look at circumstances, I know a young man who is very disabled. His parents house was adapted for him and then he wanted to be more independent and got a housing association place. It is a lovely new house and has been adapted for him.

To the OP, speak to local authority or housing association and see what might be available for you. It can't be good for any of you.

Are you not aware of the mass shortage of social housing? Priority is not going to be given to someone who already has suitable accommodation.

mumps

dmg24 wrote: »

Are you not aware of the mass shortage of social housing? Priority is not going to be given to someone who already has suitable accommodation.

I only know what I said, this young man did get a housing association house, it was all specially adapted. He is a close friend of my sons and my son told me the house was lovely. He was living at home, also adapted, but wanted more independence. I don't know if he was given priority but obviously a suitable place was available and he got it. This happened this year.

I don't know where the OP lives, do you? I don't suppose I would know the circumstances in that area even if I did know where they were. All I said was that I think they look at individual circumstances. I don't think I said there are loads of houses available, or did I? Do you think the OP shouldn't ask? What harm is that going to do?

dmg24

mumps wrote: »

I only know what I said, this young man did get a housing association house, it was all specially adapted. He is a close friend of my sons and my son told me the house was lovely. He was living at home, also adapted, but wanted more independence. I don't know if he was given priority but obviously a suitable place was available and he got it. This happened this year.

I don't know where the OP lives, do you? I don't suppose I would know the circumstances in that area even if I did know where they were. All I said was that I think they look at individual circumstances. I don't think I said there are loads of houses available, or did I? Do you think the OP shouldn't ask? What harm is that going to do?

I think the OP should be realistic, and your little story was far from representative of reality. I don't know where the OP lives, but I do know that there is a shortage of social housing everywhere.

mumps

dmg24 wrote: »

I think the OP should be realistic, and your little story was far from representative of reality. I don't know where the OP lives, but I do know that there is a shortage of social housing everywhere.

But my little story would suggest that it is possible for a young disabled person to get social housing. Perhaps the young man I know was considered a priority, perhaps there isn't a shortage where he is living but whatever you think the OP might be able to get housing I think they should give it a try if that is what they want to do. The reality is that some people get social housing, you might not like that, you might not agree with it, you might not even believe it but it is true.