Help for bereaved Uncle - Please...

Pollycat

SandraScarlett wrote: »

I can't understand this either. The OP said the Aunt's legacy was given to a "family member", but then said there's only her, and an elderly sister of the Uncle.

Maybe the 'family member' who received the money was on the Aunt's side and has nothing to do with the Uncle so that could be why they are not financially supportive of the OP's Uncle and the OP is only including relatives of the Uncle when she says there's only her and his elderly sister.

meg72

dizzy-di wrote: »

I am looking for more advice please for my Uncle again, to recap, he lost his wife 2 years ago, when she was alive they got Pension credit Gtee,

He is a very proud man, and it took me ages to get him to accept claiming benefits in the first place, he could have got them years ago, but wouldnt claim. So now he is struggling he gets state pension, attendance allowance, small pension, and industrial injuries, and he had only £10,000 now in bank, he is housebound and so cant get to the bank, and so i am paying some of his bill for him, i pay his gas/elec £135 per month - he is 87 and had heating on even in summer.

I would love to fight this but as i said he is too proud, could i do it on his behalf?
I am so worried as i am his main carer, and he recently spent 6 weeks in hospital after a fall and i was scared he would need a care home, but he couldnt afford to pay and neither could i.

Any advice on what i may do would be a huge help, i do everything for him and wouldnt have it any other way, he is like another Dad to me, but i am worried for the future, he is very old school and thinks he should be believed because its the truth.

135 a month , 1620 a year, over 30.00 a week?for gas and elec seems very high, I also have my heating on a lot due to arthritis, and I do live in a small bungalow
but my gas and elec average 40,00 a month, and dont forget the
heating allowance currently 200.00 for a single.

Sorry have just noted that your uncle in over 80, the heating allowence is then 300.00.

SandraScarlett

Pollycat wrote: »

Maybe the 'family member' who received the money was on the Aunt's side and has nothing to do with the Uncle so that could be why they are not financially supportive of the OP's Uncle and the OP is only including relatives of the Uncle when she says there's only her and his elderly sister.

Yes, I thought of that, but assumed someone who'd received £12K, would at least have kept in touch, even if only to ensure they were "remembered" when the Uncle died.

Of course, human nature being what it is, you just don't know. Years ago I watched Heir Hunters, a programme on BBC, and couldn't believe what people were saying.

For example, a man had died, who was divorced, and, at the time of the divorce, had a baby son. A few years after the divorce, the wife remarried, and her new husband asked if he could adopt the young boy, who had no contact whatsoever with his birth Dad, and the Dad agreed.

Thirty or 40 years down the line, the wife and "new" husband had died, and the son, who knew where his Dad lived, became a frequent visitor, doing everything for his father - washing, ironing, shopping, cooking, bathing him etc etc, for several years.

He hadn't made contact whilst his Mum was alive, as she didn't want him to, but he did what he could to make up for lost time, taking his children round, and giving the father a family. The father didn't have much money, but owned his house.

Then Dad died, without making a Will. The son had paid for the funeral, but not only wasn't he reimbursed for that, he didn't get a penny from the estate - because he wasn't considered a relative, as he'd been adopted by his Mum's new husband!

They traced the beneficiary, some female 3rd cousin or something, and she'd last set eyes on the man who died some 60 years previously at a family wedding - and she got the lot! When they interviewed her and asked if she was going to give any money to the son she said "no, cos he shouldn't have got himself adopted and it's right that the money should go to a relative"!!!

I couldn't believe her atitude and that the son was not even reimbursed for the funeral, cos apparently he had just paid it, and not put it as a charge against the estate. That's stuck in my mind so much, and I suppose is a great lesson for making a will!!

xx

dizzy-di_2

mumblub wrote: »

Dont want to sound morbid or nasty..i hvnt read the whole thread..but cant he pay for his whole funeral / burial that will bring his money down about 2/6 grand.depending where you live..all in al good luck op..........gov seems to busy these days saying they will cut costs (but not on the rich) i guess he thinks if you earn 244.00 a week your rich..(whoppie doo) im loaded

Thank you for your suggestion, that is what he is keeping the money in the ISA for to be honest - his funeral, I will talk to him about pre-payment, its just quite awkward... i dont want him to think i am thinking he is going soon so want to get prepared!!!!

To me the problem is not what he has now anyway its what he has given away that is being questioned, he does have under the allowance, but its convincing them of that i am having problem with.

dizzy-di_2

ab.da54 wrote: »

Where is the relative who received the money?

Surely not took it and then ditched the uncle?

The relative is a cousin of mine, i dont see them at all, have never got on ever, they have never done anymore than odd yearly visits. My aunt had this stupid idea that she had been looked after years ago, by her sister, and so it was her way to repay this persons child. I didnt agree, but it was my aunts way, to repay, and maybe she had her own good reasons - i just couldnt see them.
My aunt had 2 sisters ( my mum + this other persons mum).

I say he has only got me, because its only me that is close to him and i always have been, i do everything for him, shopping, cleaning, bills, washing, hospital/GP stuff etc, he does have a sister, but she is 99 and though reasonable ok, is obviously very frail herself.
Hope this explains the set up a little clearer.

dizzy-di_2

SandraScarlett wrote: »

I can't understand this either. The OP said the Aunt's legacy was given to a "family member", but then said there's only her, and an elderly sister of the Uncle.

OP, I can't understand why, if he has £10K or £12K of his own money, what's the problem? Let him spend it, and when it dips below the lower thresh-hold, then he can claim again.

xx

Please see above post it explains family set up a little.

He wants to keep some of the money for a funeral, and also if his stair lift needs replacing, or other things, he needs to have a bit of money.

dizzy-di_2

meg72 wrote: »

135 a month , 1620 a year, over 30.00 a week?for gas and elec seems very high, I also have my heating on a lot due to arthritis, and I do live in a small bungalow
but my gas and elec average 40,00 a month, and dont forget the
heating allowance currently 200.00 for a single.

Sorry have just noted that your uncle in over 80, the heating allowence is then 300.00.

Well thats what we are paying.... he lives in a 2 bedroom house, and he even has heating on in summer, he feels the cold, is housebound, watches tv and has lights on quite a lot (large tree in garden blocks out day light).
Thank you, it may come down eventually as i had to have a bill of £300 included in DD, as he couldnt pay it from weekly pension, so i now pay it for him.