advice for son

juliethemuse

Hi everbody
i wondered if anyone else had an autistic adult child who could advise me
my son Daniel is 21, he has autism and moderate learning difficulties,
he has no friends and never had had any to speak of,
well, he did have one but he moved out of the area and hasnt seen him since,
he's never had a job, he claims disability benefits,
he was on a learning for work course at college, but is very hit and miss with his lessons and now rarely goes at all, he says he's not returning as his tutor is a b*ich,
they keep on ringing me up (he wont use his mobile) and want to know whats the matter, i tell them i dont know, which i dont,
i am always asking him whats the matter he dosent seem to want to go out the house, except to check the bank to see if his moneys gone in ok, he wont really get into a conversation about college,
he's been in further education since he left school at 16, and he says hes sick of it, so i said 'why on earth did you pay out £130 for your course then? he dosent answer,
he just stays in his room most of the day on his ipod or ps3,
i am at my wits end with him, he will always have a home with us but what will happen if/when me and his dad die? we are in our late forties so not thinking of 'popping our clogs' yet lol
would SS help me do you think? i dont want to make an idiot of myself by asking if they wont,
i mean help out by advice for what he can do regarding support in the community or living away from us with support if he wants to, i'm not trying to get rid of him, i just want him to have a more normal life, he's 21 and he behaves like an old man of 90, it 's not healthy for him living like he is, he's got no life at all,
thanks for reading

jackieglasgow

Is there a befriending service in your local area, where someone else will take him out socially, and get him more involved in community groups etc.?

juliethemuse

dont know jackie i'll check it out

jackieglasgow

Sorry that's about all I can suggest just now, my son is still a child. My uncle worked in such a job in his later life and found it hugely rewarding, and I know that even now, when he's retired he is still in contact with one or two of the families he worked with. But that was in Scotland.

SEK_2

My older brother has learning disabilities he is 43 now. He worked for Tesco for 15 years and now he works for the RSPCA. He's been there for about 15 years now. He only works 2-3 days a week and he helps muck out the animals & walk the dogs. He has got both his jobs through Shaw Trust http://www.shaw-trust.org.uk/home

He is also a member of Mencap. The group in his area meet monthly and also organise trips out and other social activities. http://www.mencap.org.uk/

Both websites have lots of other useful info on them.

LJM

i would suggest getting some information on groups that he could join for fun activities, has he any hobbies you could encourage him with. i am on the iow and i know that there are weekly and monthly meets here that consist of disco's, meals out justa friends circle basically maybe worth looking into

tori.k

www.brandontrust.org/


I dont know where you are in the world but the brandon trust are really good at helping bring people out of themselves well worth getting in contact with

emmaroth

Hi Julie,

Definitely approach adult social services in your area! They should have most up to date information about different groups and resources out there. It might also help him to have someone outside of the family to speak with? I understand well where you're coming from as my elder brother has Down's syndrome and lives at home with our parents. He hated college and wasn't too chuffed with the adult training centre he worked at but is now very happy working in a supported placement in a local fruit and veg shop - Social Work should have a list of such placements in your local area.
Good luck!

sheilavw

My youngest brother has downs syndrome and poor speech. He works voluntarily at a local garden centre 2 days a week. He has made new friends and they have fund raising evenings, just a couple of weeks ago a meal at a local indian restaurant, with music and raffle. They have a Christmas party. He loves going

Gemmy_2

I really don't know that much about autism at all, but all of you've said sounds a lot like my mums friends son. They managed to get him one of those disability dogs (i'm sorry i honestly don't know the correct name for them). Anyway, this dog just made amazing changes in her son. He knew he had responsibility - went out took him on walks etc.. he began socializing with people.. going back to college etc.


EDIT: http://www.support-dogs.org.uk/AADogs.htm
theres a link!

juliethemuse

thanks everyone i will contact adult SS, see what they say, i will let you know what they suggest,
i live in Peterborough btw, but thank you all for the advice,