Have you ever TOLD people what to buy your kids?

PabloNeruda

....for Xmas?

Well, not TOLD them, but politely suggested?

I decided this year that I was fed up with all the useless tat that my daughters receive annually from their many uncles an aunts, and which gets chucked under the bed never to be seen again.

Today I therefore sent a group email to them all politely suggesting that if they were stuck for an idea this year, would they consider a monetary gift towards horseriding lessons for them both. I'm a mature student working part-time, and I already fork out to send them to violin and piano lessons, theatre school and art lessons.

The above lessons are paid for in advance on a term-by-term or monthly basis, and are budgeted for. However the horseriding is paid for weekly as and when they attend, and they are often left disappointed when I tell them on a Sunday morning that I cannot afford it.

So, to me my proposal seems a perfectly reasonable one. I gave them bank details of my 2 daughters for direct money transfers, and the name of the Riding school if they wished to make a cheque out directly to the school instead. I also told them hour much a one hour lesson costs (£11 per hour per child) and even provided the phone number, should they wish to verify what I have told them. I did all this to remove any doubt that I personally would pocket the money in any way for my own benefit, which I'm sure is the reason some people don't like giving cash to kids.

I am pleased I have done this, and would encourage others not to be too proud to do the same.

growingafamily

this is a great idea - My Stepdad just lost his job (he was self-employed but contrated and work has dried up), and my lil bro has been going to scouts and karate with his best friend from school - might see if my mum would prefer some money towards those instead of lots of little pressies (will still get him a cheap board game like every year) ??? thanks for the heads up !

full-time-mum

It sounds as though you have handled the situation admirably. Suggesting money is always difficult but you've suggested Riding Lessons.

I agree entirely about the tat thing. The trouble is, I now seem to be expected to have done all the donkey work and just provide with web address/shop catalogue number etc. DD2's birthday is on Wed and grandparents have asked for an idea but it has to be got in a certain place on a certain afternoon.
I know that if I don't come up with a suggestion then they will go to toysrus and find something/anything.

One year I suggest ELC microphone on a stand. They weren't in stock so one was purchased from Argos which wasn't a suitable age and spends the entire time in bits on the floor or is unusable as it doesn't switch itself off and the batteries have gone flat.
Sometimes, I think it would be easier to just go and buy x number of presents and then distribute them.
Then there are the times when you say, please, no more barbies and everyone ignores you....:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

OK, I feel better now I've shared that. Sorry if I've hijacked your thread.

Becles

I offer suggestions to people who are willing to listen. I think it's a good idea so the children get something they like, and the giver gets pleasure out of knowing the child is pleased with their purchase.

Last year my MIL bought my boys a much desired playstation game. She had no idea what it was, so we bought it for her but left it with her to wrap up and give to them. When they opened it, she got a lot of pleasure seeing them screaming with excitement at the game, and they've played on it loads over the year.

My ex's parents refuse to be told what to buy and as they live 350 miles away, they are totally out of touch with what the children are into. They also hate modern toys. Usually they send up craft kits like Airfix or those plaster of paris models you make and paint. However, neither boy is very artistic and they don't enjoy doing them. Most of the time they sit in the cupboard, then go to the second hand stall at the school summer fayre. It's a shame as the boys get no pleasure from their gifts, and I can't stand seeing money wasted.

kal25

Hi, we have done similar pablo. My boys always get too many toys most of which sit in their toy boxes for most of the year unplayed with. this year we have asked people if they would like to give money (towards something they want or put away)or clothes.However, obviously the kids don't want no presents and so most will buy one small present to be opened on xmas day. Last year we didn't buy half as much and they were still happy. I think sometimes people will be relieved to hear this suggestion as sometimes it can be hard to think of presents.

Sarahsaver

You did the right thing. I appreciate it when people ask what the kids want else they would end up with a ton of selection packs!

victory

I think that is brilliant pablo, especially the bit that you will not pocket the money, all the details are there, it is now up to them to do it! Excellent,well done xxxx

*vanessa*

Perhaps a school trip might be another Idea, my son wants to go France next year, and another of my Boys wants to a residential, both of them are expensive trips, So I might ask for "donations" to that.

Otherwise the boys won't be going, because we can not afford it:(

LearningToSave.

my family have always done the buy what told thing!!!
when we were all small you'd have a huge as kids do list and you'd get a few things on it...now it only tends to be one or two things.
great as you always get something you want.

Rachie_B

various relatives ask for a "list of ideas" of what to buy our 2 boys

then they choose from the list

bobbadog

I ask my Aunt for lists for her three little rascals, which I then pick from. Though as they're getting older I think Vouchers are easier.

My mum rang me earlier and said if i'm stuck for a Christmas idea for her, she'd like a garden spade. Not sure if she has anything sinister in mind with that, her and her man do argue quite a bit