Have you ever TOLD people what to buy your kids?

alice's_mum

I always do this with my MIL and SIL and Sisiter I tell them what my two are into or have expressed a liking for (if appropriate) . For my mum, I just buy what I know the kids want or need and she gives me the money for them, and she wraps them. This works much better as she has no idea what kids want to play with and hates shopping, so my kids always get virtually everything on their lists, but usually their lists are only 5 items long so they are not spoilt but everything gets played with.

yabajaz

good for you

I've tried to install this with my new little family. it's so lovely that they want to buy something for the kids, but lets be slightly sensible..... I offer a suggestion to each adult for a 'main' pressie and let them top up with 'stuff' to thier hearts content.
I just don't see the point of people spending money they don't have, on stuff that isn't wanted.
And then have to turn thier heating down in february to afford it......
I LOVE SECRET SANTA
Anita

Baileys_Babe

My family all do lists, some things may be general ideas or specific, big or small, new or second hand, expensive or cheap or for the individual, household or couples. You do not have to get anything on the list they are just ideas.
My 5 year old nephew always includes experiences on his list ie a trip to the sea side, a trip to a museum - he loves museums and many have free entry these days so a very MSE present.
My parents always give each of their grandchildren a new outfit for birthday, christmas and easter as well as a book and a toy the children love all of it, probable helps my mum has a good sense of which clothes the children will like.
In laws have no idea so need all the help they can get.

Ettenna

Our families always ask what the kids want for Christmas and we tell them. It started about 5 years ago when there were 5 kids in total to buy for. I would rather get something that the other kids would appreciate and use and vice versa for our kids. One of my nieces has a list that ranges from £10 to over £300 (in her dreams!!!). We all agree on a amout to spend per child and choose something from the list.

sheenaf

We were really hard up when our girls were wee and really appreciated that my parents, sister and aunt always consulted and bought really practical but fun presents. As for MIL, I tried and tried but she insisted on doing her own thing. This was to present them each with a highly expensive and totally OTT party dress on Christmas Day. The girls did love them but as all their school parties and suchlike had passed they were worn one day only and were too small by the following year. This went on for years until they went to secondary school when she suddenly decided to give them M&S Vouchers which they delighted in spending in the sales and had clothes of their own choice to last through till spring. I think it had to do with her only having a son and no daughters of her own to dress up, but tell the story here hoping it may get some other MILs to think before they waste so much money on something extravagent when money is in short supply for essentials.

crazy_guy

Erww the thoughts of 10 selection boxes, 10 pairs of socks, 10 packs of horrid shampoo and shower gel and useless board games are coming flooding back!

Justie

we don't just do it for the kids but for us adults too as it saves the trip to the shops to exchange things...

All the kids end up with far too much stuff anyway and never know what to play with as there's too much choice.

PabloNeruda

*Louise* wrote:

OP - I think your email is a great idea, and the fact you have provided the info about the Riding school is top notch.:T

Many thanks.

Here is a copy of the email I sent.....

Hello everyone

I'm writing regarding Christmas this year and for a little help.

As you know, money has been a struggle for me over the past couple of years as I try to complete my time at university. At the same time I have tried to ensure that the girls participate in various extra-curricular activities, and they continue to attend various clubs to learn piano, violin, horseriding, theatre etc. which I think is really important for them and which they really enjoy

I though that perhaps for Christmas it might be an idea to ask on their behalf for help in allowing them to continue with these activities, as I am finding it difficult.

My idea was that if anybody was thinking of buying them a present this year but was stuck for an idea, it would be really useful to contribute towards the cost of the horseriding.

I pay for the piano and violin on a term-by-term basis, and the theatre school is paid for a month in advance. I can budget for these activities, but the horseriding often suffers and they often have to miss weekends and are left disappointed, although they understand the reason why and never complain.

If anybody WAS thinking stuck for an idea and would like to contribute in this way, the details are as follows :

The lessons cost £11 per hour per child, and they attend the ********* Riding School on Sundays (whenever I can afford it!)

You can confirm this on 01375 8*****

I would suggest either a cheque made payable to ************, or to the girls themselves, who now have their own bank accounts. Or for a transfer, their bank details are:

J**** *****
HSBC - Grays Branch Sort Code: 40-22-21 Account Number ********

L**** *****
HSBC - Grays Branch Sort Code: 40-22-21 Account Number ********


Thanks a lot

swampduck

We have always bought off the wish list or taken suggestions from Mum/Dad but if stuck for ideas will buy clothes from the bigger stores. These are wrapped and sent to the families concerned with an envelope enclosed addressed to Mum so things can be exchanged.

Personally I would never be offended if someone asked for a receipt so that something could be exchanged. Far better to have something useful or wanted than a load of tat. This goes for birthdays too.

Swampy

shazziere

my mum normally spends approx£50 on my 3 children.However,most of it is stuff from the pound shop...it is often very plasticky looking and gives me endlesss storage headaches as she really beleives in the quantity not quality theory.Most of the stuff is broken by Boxing day...in fact one Xmas i remember my youngest tripping up as we opened the presents and instantly 3 presents were broke as she landed in a heap on top of the pressies on the floor.

This year i thought i would try a different approach.My clan would love a trampoline ....Having seen one for a £100 i approached my mum very politely to say that if she got this as a joint gift she would be actually saving money (but also giving the kids what they really want and not showering the house with tat!)

The outcome was she was deeply offended.She said xmas was about the giving and opening of presents that she had chosen and not being told what to buy.I have now just accepted that for my mum she likes to do her own thing.i love my mum to bits and dont want to get her stressed out over this so have just let things lie.