Sorting out my life - Part 2!

cazmcf

How are you today?

jwil

copperjar wrote: »

I'm feeling really teary today and just can't see how things are going to get better. I don't know whether to even write it all on here because if anyone's reading, I must sound like a complete desperate sad sack. Its all just so hard.

I'm trying to be so careful with money its starting to get me down. I did the weekly shop today and was pleased to have only spent £25, but thanks to my new iPhone app I can see exactly how much money I have to get me through to the end of the month. £200. Payday is 3 weeks away and I have £200 left if I want to pay my OD off. And I have the car service to pay for on Thursday - £160. I might make £70 (tops) from ebay this week, so that means I'll still end the month OD, then I have Christmas to pay for and my debts just aren't coming down quickly enough. I've only really paid the minimum off this month, the same will happen next month too.

I was thinking last night about how quickly I could get the credit cards paid off. I'm aiming for the Virgin card to be gone by end of March, then I'll have another £2200 on the Santander card which if I'm really tight, could go by Sept 2011. That's nearly a year away and I'll still have the two loans...and I'm not even sure I can be this tight/frugal/obsessed with money for all that time without going insane.

Then there's the whole failed relationship thing that's really getting to me today. We haven't spoken for over a week now when at first she was so determined to stay friends. We went out the Friday before last for my birthday with a mutual friend and it was all a bit awkward. Now, call me a selfish cow, but I kind of think I had a right to be a bit upset. It was my birthday week, I'd been planning on spending it with my partner 6 weeks earlier, then we broke up and everything changed. So the Friday was a little tense. This seems to have been the signal to us both that we needed a bit more space from one another and were rushing the friendship thing, but I guess I'm upset that she hasn't really bothered - hasn't even asked friends if I'm okay or said she's feeling upset too. Oh I know I'm acting the victim and I know she can't do right for doing wrong, but argghhh!

So I just ordered a book someone recommended to me to help me move forward....but I'm stressing that it cost me £7.18 that I don't have! Its never ending. And and and....last bit, my ebay stuff has lots of watchers but no bids and I'm even thinking about taking some of the stuff off because its personal items from my childhood with lots of memories. Is it really worth losing for £30? £30 that a week ago I would have spent on crap without a second thought? I just don't know.

I need a cigarette

Sorry you weren't feeling very good yesterday, caz is right with the advice, if it's too much, slow it down a bit.

Your diary is here for you, so whatever you need to type, put it down there! Often it helps just to get things off your chest and I don't think you are a desperate sad sack :rotfl: I think you've got a lot going on so are entitled to feel that way.

It's a really busy time of year, and I've made the decision that I am going to try and get by until after Christmas. My car's MOT and insurance are due soon, as well as the other expenditure. My aim is therefore just to keep on track and if I can pay some off, then great, but if not, I don't want to add to my debt. Perhaps you could do something similar?

Remember that even if you just pay the minimums your debt will have gone down a bit. It might only be £5 but it's a fiver less than it was last month!

You have every right to be upset about your relationship, but maybe it's a little too soon to be friends. In a few weeks when it's all not so raw it might be easier. Just because she hasn't contacted you or asked friends about you doesn't mean that she isn't hurting too, it probably means the opposite. You're not acting the victim, it's a natural way to feel - been there, done that :cool::o

If the book works, then it's £7.18 well spent. If it doesn't - well, list it straight back on amazon and get some of that money back! Your emotional health is important and you should look after yourself.

Remember most people don't bid on ebay until the last minute. So if you have loads of watchers then hopefully that's a good sign.

I am queen of selling anything that isn't nailed down, but if it is something that means something to me, then it won't be going. Have another think about the things that are precious to you - would you miss it once it's gone? Would you ever be able to replace it? If I won't miss something I'll sell it, if I could replace it, I would, but otherwise I would keep it.

Alternatively, if you're not that fussed, and could really do with the money, then take a nice photo of it for your own memories.

jwil

Well done on not smoking by the way! :j

copperjar

Thanks so much to you both. I really do appreciate the support and advice. I feel a bit silly about my mini crisis yesterday, but so grateful for the encouragement and support. Thank you.

I've had a much better day today, feeling positive again (although still obsessed with money saving and money making!). Was asked to go out for tea with a friend tomorrow but said no because we're already going out on Friday, so we're just meeting up for a coffee instead. Usually I'd have just thought, "sod it, put it on your card" but I'm determined and my friend understands.

I've made a decision about the overdraft and car. I'm setting myself up for failure trying to pay the overdraft off in one month, when I've also got the car to pay for. So I'm going to pay for the MoT and service on my Barclaycard (currently has a balance of £0) and will pay any eBay sales straight onto the card and then will pay the balance off in December when I get paid. Won't be charged and hopefully will be able to end the month having cleared the OD (if I can keep the frugal living this month) or max £50 overdrawn. I'm also going to put money aside for Christmas out of Decembers pay - and just pay what I can off the CCs until the new year. Although its disappointing the debt won't be going down, at least it won't be going up!! I usually end up putting about £500 on my cards over Christmas, so if I don't do that, it kind of is paying off debts (just before they happen!) :laugh:

The writing lists thing on here seems to be working, finally got round to ringing someone about the boiler (although it meant I didn't get time to go to the gym :whistle:. Ahem). Anyway, good news is that I've found a very nice boiler man who seems trustworthy, unlike the one I've been (slightly) ripped off by twice now. Its all on a knife edge though, he couldn't find the fault and has one thing left to check. Either the leak won't be found but the boiler will be serviced and all should be fine - £60. Or the leak will be found within the boiler itself which will mean a whole new boiler needed - £1200 :eek:

Now, the reason I'm not in a complete panic is that my parents have very kindly said that they will "sort it" whatever happens. I'm just so relieved and so lucky to have the parents I do. They've been so generous over the past year and have helped me out with lots of house repairs that I just couldn't have got done without them. In fact, my dad even seemed to be hinting to me tonight that he would also pay for the car - but I want to do that myself so I said I'm fine to pay for it. Bit silly maybe, but they have been incredibly generous recently and I don't want to take advantage (although I think I probably already have several times this year).

It does make me feel a bit guilty though. A couple of years ago, my brother got himself into a right old mess financially and had to tell our parents everything and ask for a loan. He's paying them back a huge amount every month, but it makes me think he must have been in real trouble if he had to ask them - probably was being refused credit elsewhere. Or maybe he was in the same position as me and I'm just burying my head thinking I'll manage to pay it off! Anyway, it really stressed (and still does) my mum out, the amount of debt he was in and the amount they had to lend him...and they both think I'm the sensible one because I've never had to ask for the same :embarasse.

So in a way I feel like a complete fraud. If they knew about my debts they would be so disappointed. And at the same time, I think they have been so generous this year because I, quote, "don't give us any worries, unlike your brother".

Oh dear.

God that's awful really isn't it? Anyway, I need to keep that in mind whenever I'm feeling down about not having any money because I'm paying off my debts. I will get them paid off. I will take responsibility for myself. And I will get it all sorted.

jwil

copperjar wrote: »

Thanks so much to you both. I really do appreciate the support and advice. I feel a bit silly about my mini crisis yesterday, but so grateful for the encouragement and support. Thank you.

I've had a much better day today, feeling positive again (although still obsessed with money saving and money making!). Was asked to go out for tea with a friend tomorrow but said no because we're already going out on Friday, so we're just meeting up for a coffee instead. Usually I'd have just thought, "sod it, put it on your card" but I'm determined and my friend understands.

I've made a decision about the overdraft and car. I'm setting myself up for failure trying to pay the overdraft off in one month, when I've also got the car to pay for. So I'm going to pay for the MoT and service on my Barclaycard (currently has a balance of £0) and will pay any eBay sales straight onto the card and then will pay the balance off in December when I get paid. Won't be charged and hopefully will be able to end the month having cleared the OD (if I can keep the frugal living this month) or max £50 overdrawn. I'm also going to put money aside for Christmas out of Decembers pay - and just pay what I can off the CCs until the new year. Although its disappointing the debt won't be going down, at least it won't be going up!! I usually end up putting about £500 on my cards over Christmas, so if I don't do that, it kind of is paying off debts (just before they happen!) :laugh:

The writing lists thing on here seems to be working, finally got round to ringing someone about the boiler (although it meant I didn't get time to go to the gym :whistle:. Ahem). Anyway, good news is that I've found a very nice boiler man who seems trustworthy, unlike the one I've been (slightly) ripped off by twice now. Its all on a knife edge though, he couldn't find the fault and has one thing left to check. Either the leak won't be found but the boiler will be serviced and all should be fine - £60. Or the leak will be found within the boiler itself which will mean a whole new boiler needed - £1200 :eek:

Now, the reason I'm not in a complete panic is that my parents have very kindly said that they will "sort it" whatever happens. I'm just so relieved and so lucky to have the parents I do. They've been so generous over the past year and have helped me out with lots of house repairs that I just couldn't have got done without them. In fact, my dad even seemed to be hinting to me tonight that he would also pay for the car - but I want to do that myself so I said I'm fine to pay for it. Bit silly maybe, but they have been incredibly generous recently and I don't want to take advantage (although I think I probably already have several times this year).

It does make me feel a bit guilty though. A couple of years ago, my brother got himself into a right old mess financially and had to tell our parents everything and ask for a loan. He's paying them back a huge amount every month, but it makes me think he must have been in real trouble if he had to ask them - probably was being refused credit elsewhere. Or maybe he was in the same position as me and I'm just burying my head thinking I'll manage to pay it off! Anyway, it really stressed (and still does) my mum out, the amount of debt he was in and the amount they had to lend him...and they both think I'm the sensible one because I've never had to ask for the same :embarasse.

So in a way I feel like a complete fraud. If they knew about my debts they would be so disappointed. And at the same time, I think they have been so generous this year because I, quote, "don't give us any worries, unlike your brother".

Oh dear.

God that's awful really isn't it? Anyway, I need to keep that in mind whenever I'm feeling down about not having any money because I'm paying off my debts. I will get them paid off. I will take responsibility for myself. And I will get it all sorted.

I think you're doing really well to try and get yourself sorted without your parents help, and I'm sure with the help of this site you'll be able to. It's really kind of them to help you sort your boiler out though.

cazmcf

Aren't parents the best:j And as jiwl said your doing really well dealing with this on your own with the support of us and this site. And if they ever do find out I dont think they would be dissapointed as you are trying to deal with it before it gets out of hand.


I think of you can manage to get through the rest of this year without getting into more debt then that is an achievement in its self. In a way you've had your lightbulb moment at the worst time of year , with xams coming up, but the main thing is you've had it and slowly but surely thngs will get better.

copperjar

I think you're right - my lightbulb moment came just at the wrong time! Typical of me! :rotfl:
But at least I can stop the debt going up even more.

I've had a bit of a slack day. All my good intentions left when my friend came round for a coffee and we ended up getting a takeaway :doh: But in a way I think I needed it - a full night chatting and having a laugh topped off with a lovely takeaway. Naughty but nice. The cook book arrived as well, some things look reasonably straight forward (I think!) so I'm hoping it will help reduce my shopping budget which is pretty huge considering there's only me! Ready meals be gone!!

Have found a good iPhone app to keep a record of my spending - which is throwing up some unexpected results. Despite saying and feeling like I'm living on virtually nothing, I've not managed one NSD this month yet! How on earth do people do 10+ every month? Whether it be less than a pound here and there, or the odd big expense, every day I've spent something! I've been really good with actual cold hard cash, the £6 from last week is still going strong and the £25 from ebay joblot last Tues still intact (until the takeaway :whistle: ). But I've still managed to spend a fair bit online - some essential things, some not so much! Think I might start an actual spemding diary on here for a few weeks, if just to shame myself!!!

Boiler has cost £55 today, with a quote for the big work still to come. Looks like I can get away without needing a new one, but the something something has a leak which needs replacing! I wasn't expecting him to do the boiler service today, thought it would all be done at once, so wasn't expecting to have to pay the £55. Car going for its service tomorrow, then its MoT - my poor iPhone app won't know what's hit it!

God, November is turning out to be an expensive month - and I still haven't bought one Christmas present yet :eek:

jwil

It's never the wrong time to have a lightbulb moment, at least you can control it over christmas rather than having it in January only to find you've added several hundred pounds to your debt without thinking about it!

Good luck with the car MOT and service tomorrow.

copperjar

God this week is dragging.
MoT and service done - didn't have to get any additional work done, so it cost £190 in total. How I could have done without that...rubbish time of the year for it all to be due.

Had a really bad day at work today. We were talking about how to make the efficiencies we're required to make, and I found myself basically being asked who could lose their job. It was horrible and I nearly cried! Nobody else in the room had to be quite so personal about it all, but the teams I manage have made so many savings already through natural wastage and non staffing efficiencies, the only thing left to do would be to cut jobs. |I don't know if I'm just particularly sensitive at the moment, but I found the whole process to be utterly desperate and I didn't want a part of it. The really galling thing is, because I've already been proactive in reducing costs, in a way me and my teams are being punished further. I absolutely hate it and the way the others in the room were almost blaze about it, makes me imagine just what's been said about mine and my colleagues jobs by senior management.

So, I need to keep focussed and get as much of this debt paid off as soon as possible. Had 3 ebay sales today - £45, which was slightly less than I was hoping for but it all counts. A couple of things don't finish until the weekend, but I'm not going to make the £160 needed (to pay for the car service). Need to dig out some more stuff to sell.

Have joined Field Agent on the iPhone which is basically mystery shopping of sorts. Bit embarassing because you need to take photos in the shop you go to - I looked so suspicious when I went to Sainsburys to do a review thingy today...it wouldn't have surprised me at all if I'd been picked up by security! But it only takes a couple of minutes and its £2.50 a go - no hassle, just a tad embarassing. I guess it all helps though.

Have been reading some other diaries on here and picking up some tips and hints. Lots of ideas that I can incorporate into my DFW efforts, I'll write a focussed list for the new year. I've also been thinking about targets to set myself and I think I'm going to aim high and try to pay off £7.5k next year! :eek: Just got to plan how to do it...and not let myself get bored or lose focus. Its kind of exciting to think I could have my credit cards and one loan paid off by the end of next year, need to bottle up this feeling so I can sustain it!

Still not smoking - now onto day 9 :j That's about £60 saved - but why am I not seeing it?! Damn you car and Christmas!!

copperjar

Another expensive day. Why is it that when you're trying to be extra careful with the spending thing, you just can't stop spending?! And not even on frivolous, naughty things, but boring necessities which cost a bomb. Grrr.
£7.10 on a prescription, £40 on petrol, £20 on curry night out (okay so that was a bit frivolous!), £5.40 on a birthday card :eek: (nearly put it back when I was told how much it was when at the till), £2.80 on P&P for ebay stuff. And there it is. Before you know it, £75 gone, just like that!

And I've become so tight and obsessed with money, the meal out ended on a bit of a downer because one of the party of 4 demanded we leave an £8.00 tip which me and my friend thought a bit OTT. Its not like the service was even that good. Oh to be carefree again! I now have approx £70 to last me 2.5 weeks. Now, its at times like this that I would usually think, sod it, can't be done, and would start spending erratically on my credit card. Desperately don't want to do that this time, so I need to keep writing on here to shame myself into not spending!

Have been working out how much I can afford in Jan towards my debts and I'd like to make an extra £150 on top of the monthly repayments from my salary. So, I've shamelessly stolen an idea from another thread, and think I'll set myself a little challenge to make £15 a month in 10 different ways. That sounds much more achievable that making £150 a month in one go! Will need some ideas if anyone's reading on how to do this. So far have come up with:
1. £15 from FieldAgent (6 MMSs - mini mystery shops)
2. £15 from eBaying stuff found round the house
3. £15 from eBaying things bought to sell on
4. £15 reduction in food shopping
5. 5 NSDs per month (might increase this but so far in Nov I haven't managed one single NSD so its harder than it looks!)
6. £15 in loose change - possible but with every penny accounted for, not sure I'll have any loose change!

I'm a bit stuck after this. Surveys take much longer than a month to reach £15. Was thinking of doing competitions, but to be honest, I can't get into them at all, and the spam in my email is getting too much to bare! Cashback sites is another option - but again, I don't think I buy enough stuff to make £15 a month from it!

Any ideas?

More pressing though, how do I make £70 last 2.5 weeks?! :rotfl: