Sorting out my life - Part 2!

copperjar

I really think I should have given my diary a snazzier title! Its very dull but I guess reflected how I was feeling this time last week! I'm glad to be focussing on my debts but I don't want to forget my other aims and goals. I'm supposed to be "sorting out my life" and that means a whole range of things. One step at a time I know, but it doesn't hurt thinking about the other changes I want to make.

My main issue is confidence (or lack of). People at work, aquaintances rather than friends, people that don't know me that well have a completely different image to how I really am. I'm painfully shy at times, worry about anything and everything, feel guilty about things that aren't my fault and the worst one - I'm lonely. I said that getting out more and meeting new people, accepting invites to go out with friends, starting a new hobby would be a real focus for me after I split from my ex. Things started well but have slowed right down the last few weeks. I don't think its neccessarily been a bad thing, I needed a bit more time than I first thought to really accept that my relationship had failed. But I don't want to lock myself away and get withdrawn from everyone again. That's what I've done in the past. So although its easy to say no to invites at the moment because "I don't have any money", I don't want to use that as an excuse. I must remember to budget for days/nights out and not feel guilty for spending money on seeing my freinds.

The other main thing I want to change is my health and fitness (and weight!). I've put so much weight on in the last 2 years its scary. I know I can't do everything at once, but actually, eating well does seem to save me money as well because I could have 2 or 3 takeaways a week plus spend £5 every day on lunch Mon-Fri! I'm a bit disappointed that the weight just hasn't dropped off, what with me not eating as much junk any more. But alas it hasn't! I've lost about 7lbs in 8 weeks which is slow going. I'm thinking the ready meals I've been buying probably aren't that healthy, even though they're low in calories. So aims for next week in terms of health and fitness are:
- go to the gym twice!
- weekly shop to contain fresh veg rather than packaged meals.
- buy a cookbook and plan some menus.
- eat breakfast.

I want to do all that so its not a chore and doesn't feel like I'm depriving myself of anything. Because the advice I was given on my last (failed) diary was that I was trying to do too much. The diet/fitness thing is the one aim that sometimes might have to give. My priorities are to stay smoke free (now 5 days!!!) and to focus on my debts. If that means that I have toast and jam for breakfast rather than cereal (today!!) because I've got it in and fancy it, then so be it.

Phew, it was good to get all that out!

I listed 8 things on eBay yesterday and one on amazon. Just need to find another 2 things to eBay and I'll have met one of my targets for the weekend. Still need to tidy the spare room and sort through my clothes. I'm adding boring chores today too - do my washing and clean the lounge + hoover the whole house. Really must get dressed if I'm going to achieve those!

copperjar

A nice little bonus for me today, just checked my Topcashback account and I have £32.71 to withdraw. I love making free money!! Although I should really put it towards the £200 I'm trying to scrape together to pay for my car, I want to make at least one payment a week (Copperjar's very own version of a PAD!) to the CCs, so I've paid it straight to my Virgin card. It'll give me a nice little boost to see the total coming down a bit. I'm also spending so frugally the overdraft will most certainly be reduced this month...if I'm really really tight and also manage to make the £200, I might even manage the unthinkable and get it totally paid off! If not, then I think it will be at least halved which is good.

Logged into my YouGov account and have £17.50 in there....but I need to get to £50 before I can withdraw! That's an awful lot of surveys! Talking of which, there's one waiting for me right now, so off to do that...then the cleaning (anything to put off the housework!).

jwil

There's nothing wrong with your diary total.

Definitely don't try and do too much in one go. Well done for the smoke-free days, that's great!

Budgeting for a social life is a good thing to do. You could also invite your friends around for a DVD night or drinks at your place, or going to theirs rather than necessarily going out all of the time which should help make it cheaper.

I really need to do something about my weight and fitness too, but unfortunately that is the thing that is taking a back seat at the moment, with everything else going on. I'm getting there though with the motivations so you never now. And by the way - 7lb in 8 weeks is a good, healthy weightloss, so if you've done that with little effort then that is a great result! (Even though I'm saying that though, I completely understand why you are not happy with it as I would be the same :rotfl:)

Well done on the ebay and amazon listings, and that's good news about the cashback! Free cash is always good.

I'm on YouGov too, and I think it works out on average that it's taken me about 2 years to get to each payout. :cool: They send it pretty quickly though!

copperjar

Thanks jwil You're right saying not to do too much at once...I'm just impatient to see results!! Whether that be debts, weight, fitness, social life. I want it all and I want it now! But I know these things take time so won't put too much pressure on, unlike my failed attempts in the past.

Have managed to get quite a bit done this weekend which is rather unusual for me. Most of my list ticked off, plus cleaned downstairs and have done my washing. Can I face ironing too? ...nah, that's taking things too far!

[STRIKE]Sort out cupboard in spare room for things to ebay
[/STRIKE] Unfortunately there weren't any gems to be found in here. Just lots of empty boxes and old papers! And all the cards and stuff sent to/from the ex _pale_ Mustn't dwell, but we've not had any contact since last Sunday and I've missed her loads today.
[STRIKE]Take hard drive out of old PC [/STRIKE] Very proud of myself for doing this. I took the floopy disk drive out first by accident but fitted it back in and then found the hard drive. I can do technical stuff. Who knew?
[STRIKE]eBay old PC[/STRIKE] Done. 3 watchers already, free listing. Hopefully I'll get a bid. Ends on Thursday.
[STRIKE]eBay at least 10 other items[/STRIKE] 9 items currently listed, plus a couple more on Amazon - so technically failed but I'm counting it! Have a bid on one item, watchers on another, but nowt on the other 6. Only one item might raise a significant amount if the right buyer is out there (or two of them), the others are just going to be for a few quid, but every little helps! Mustn't lose heart if they don't sell.
[STRIKE] sort out clothes[/STRIKE] Kind of done. Put some clothes on eBay but more sorting required next week.

Have also paid for Mum's birthday present and bought a healthy eating cookbook for 1p off Amazon! God knows if I'll be able to make anything in it, but I can try. Bet all the menus are for a family of 4 though!

Oh and haven't smoked.

You know, I'm doing okay - even if I do say so myself!

jwil

copperjar wrote: »

Thanks jwil You're right saying not to do too much at once...I'm just impatient to see results!! Whether that be debts, weight, fitness, social life. I want it all and I want it now! But I know these things take time so won't put too much pressure on, unlike my failed attempts in the past.

Have managed to get quite a bit done this weekend which is rather unusual for me. Most of my list ticked off, plus cleaned downstairs and have done my washing. Can I face ironing too? ...nah, that's taking things too far!

[STRIKE]Sort out cupboard in spare room for things to ebay
[/STRIKE] Unfortunately there weren't any gems to be found in here. Just lots of empty boxes and old papers! And all the cards and stuff sent to/from the ex _pale_ Mustn't dwell, but we've not had any contact since last Sunday and I've missed her loads today.
[STRIKE]Take hard drive out of old PC [/STRIKE] Very proud of myself for doing this. I took the floopy disk drive out first by accident but fitted it back in and then found the hard drive. I can do technical stuff. Who knew?
[STRIKE]eBay old PC[/STRIKE] Done. 3 watchers already, free listing. Hopefully I'll get a bid. Ends on Thursday.
[STRIKE]eBay at least 10 other items[/STRIKE] 9 items currently listed, plus a couple more on Amazon - so technically failed but I'm counting it! Have a bid on one item, watchers on another, but nowt on the other 6. Only one item might raise a significant amount if the right buyer is out there (or two of them), the others are just going to be for a few quid, but every little helps! Mustn't lose heart if they don't sell.
[STRIKE] sort out clothes[/STRIKE] Kind of done. Put some clothes on eBay but more sorting required next week.

Have also paid for Mum's birthday present and bought a healthy eating cookbook for 1p off Amazon! God knows if I'll be able to make anything in it, but I can try. Bet all the menus are for a family of 4 though!

Oh and haven't smoked.

You know, I'm doing okay - even if I do say so myself!

You're doing really well!

I'm kind of impatient too, and like to see instant results. I'm very good at talking the talk, but not at walking the walk

Well done on getting your items on ebay and amazon - it all counts!

Most cook books seem to be for families of 4, so you can always just freeze the extra for those days when you can't be bothered to cook, or half the quantities and have two meals out of it - take some for lunch the next day. It works out loads cheaper than buying lunch, and when I do it, I just dish up that extra portion into the lunchbox at the same time as I am dishing up dinner, bung it in the fridge, then I haven't got to worry about preparing anything for lunch in the morning when I am getting ready for work.:T

copperjar

I'm feeling really teary today and just can't see how things are going to get better. I don't know whether to even write it all on here because if anyone's reading, I must sound like a complete desperate sad sack. Its all just so hard.

I'm trying to be so careful with money its starting to get me down. I did the weekly shop today and was pleased to have only spent £25, but thanks to my new iPhone app I can see exactly how much money I have to get me through to the end of the month. £200. Payday is 3 weeks away and I have £200 left if I want to pay my OD off. And I have the car service to pay for on Thursday - £160. I might make £70 (tops) from ebay this week, so that means I'll still end the month OD, then I have Christmas to pay for and my debts just aren't coming down quickly enough. I've only really paid the minimum off this month, the same will happen next month too.

I was thinking last night about how quickly I could get the credit cards paid off. I'm aiming for the Virgin card to be gone by end of March, then I'll have another £2200 on the Santander card which if I'm really tight, could go by Sept 2011. That's nearly a year away and I'll still have the two loans...and I'm not even sure I can be this tight/frugal/obsessed with money for all that time without going insane.

Then there's the whole failed relationship thing that's really getting to me today. We haven't spoken for over a week now when at first she was so determined to stay friends. We went out the Friday before last for my birthday with a mutual friend and it was all a bit awkward. Now, call me a selfish cow, but I kind of think I had a right to be a bit upset. It was my birthday week, I'd been planning on spending it with my partner 6 weeks earlier, then we broke up and everything changed. So the Friday was a little tense. This seems to have been the signal to us both that we needed a bit more space from one another and were rushing the friendship thing, but I guess I'm upset that she hasn't really bothered - hasn't even asked friends if I'm okay or said she's feeling upset too. Oh I know I'm acting the victim and I know she can't do right for doing wrong, but argghhh!

So I just ordered a book someone recommended to me to help me move forward....but I'm stressing that it cost me £7.18 that I don't have! Its never ending. And and and....last bit, my ebay stuff has lots of watchers but no bids and I'm even thinking about taking some of the stuff off because its personal items from my childhood with lots of memories. Is it really worth losing for £30? £30 that a week ago I would have spent on crap without a second thought? I just don't know.

I need a cigarette

cazmcf

:grouphug: copperjar, please dont give up, and please dont smoke you'll only regret it tomorrow.

Maybe your being too ambitious to clear the overdraft this month. How about clearing half or all bar £50? If your goal is a little smaller and easier to achieve then you are more likely to have that sense of achievment, which can be important when debt busting. You will get there but a little slower, after all you have an expensive month with your car and xmas.

It can be hard being frugal but try to imagine what it will be like when that money is yours to spend GUILT free. And your are allowed a treat every now and then, after all life is for living, not just paying our debts. It's learning to do it cheaply or budget for these treats.

I'm not sure what to say about your partner, I've never been in that posistion. But I hope that you feel better tomorrow and I hope some day you can become friends.


Get a good nights sleep, things will seem clearer and brighter in the morning.

copperjar

Good grief. Just read all that back following a relaxing bubble bath. The ramblings of a loon me thinks! Self indulgent, victim, feeling sorry for myself, !!!!!!!!!
Didn't smoke, didn't text the ex, didn't buy myself an expensive item online to cheer myself up. Maybe I'm finding some control!

Things to do this week:
- ring plumber re boiler. Don't know why I've been putting this off. Its freezing in this house, boiler is about to go bang, mum and dad have said they'll pay to get it done (thank you!!) - so why am I putting it off?
- post any eBay items that sell
- go to the gym twice (at least)
- buy mum's birthday card
- go to bed before midnight and SLEEP!

copperjar

Thank you cazmcf

Sorry for the drama!

cazmcf

We all have our moments;) and isnt it better you have them on here than smoke, text ur ex or buy something expensive? Well done and glad you feel a bit better.