Home Birth

Doozergirl

Becles, as you're pregnant, I think you have official permission to override all of his wishes. By being completely irrational.

I hope everything goes swimmingly for you, wherever you decide to have your beautiful baby.

Peakma

Becles wrote:

I know what I want to do if it was just up to me!

But I need to consider what he wants to do as well which is where the problems start. Once he's made his mind up, there's no changing it. He goes silent, won't discuss things and just says do what you want. If I do what I want to do, I'm ignoring his wishes and doing what I want and I might lose his support, so it's easier to put up and shut up and go along with what he wants.

I already feel awful because I'm going to breastfeed against his wishes, so I think it's probably a good compromise to give birth in hospital, so we each get one thing we want.

I really don't mean to be rude,but I recall from other threads you haven't been married long.I'd start as you mean to go on.Don't just do things his way to avoid him sulking! If you feel you'd prefer a home birth,and would feel more relaxed,and therefore more liked to have an enjoyable birth at home,then you should have a home birth.Although you should consider his wishes and points,it is at the end of the day your body which is giving birth,and the over all decission I think should be yours.And as for the breast feeding,eveyone knows breast is best,and thats whats important,the best way for a Dad to bond is to spend as much time with baby from the beginning as mum,which is another vote for a home birth! Don't worry he can catch up on his feeding duties when baby is 6 months old and eating mushy solids ,which as I recall takes ages ,and your own dinner goes cold!
Like I've said before,I had all my three at home,and all were absolutely amazing,miracle moments in my life.They just couldn't of been anywhere near as wonderful in hospital.Obviously the overall end product baby would be the same, but the whole birth experience would be so different.All my babies were all really relaxed happy healthy babies.Maybe if I had been in hospital,and been stressed during labour,they would of been stressed out babies?!
The weirdest thing happened as soon as my daughter was born,literally as soon as she was delivered a weird lightening storm started outside,it was so odd as there was no thunder,and went on for ages, the midwives,my partner and I had never seen anything like it.It was so odd,like the world was welcoming her in some weird way! I hope I'm not sounding like a crazy lady now!! I can assure you I'm quite sane,but did enjoy giving birth three times!
Good luck.

bella4uk

Becles wrote:

I know what I want to do if it was just up to me!

But I need to consider what he wants to do as well which is where the problems start. Once he's made his mind up, there's no changing it. He goes silent, won't discuss things and just says do what you want. If I do what I want to do, I'm ignoring his wishes and doing what I want and I might lose his support, so it's easier to put up and shut up and go along with what he wants.

I already feel awful because I'm going to breastfeed against his wishes, so I think it's probably a good compromise to give birth in hospital, so we each get one thing we want.

I can understand his concerns about a home birth but honestly becles the breatfeeding issue is your choice, don't let him make you feel awful, you are not there to fulfill his wishes, pass him an old lamp if he wants that.... Keeping quiet for the sake of peace is not the way to go....keep talking on here if you need support...
Sorry if I have overstepped the mark!

Gingham_Ribbon

Becles wrote:

We're also having an "argument" over me wanting to use washable nappies, and he wants disposables. Should have had these discussions before deciding to have a baby I think

DH wasn't keen on the idea of washables either. But I went ahead and got them anyway. He took only a few days to decide that they were the best thing ever and we both hated it when DS grew out of terries and had to go onto disposables as our shopping bill went up and so did the rubbish we throw out.

sairz

my oh was the same with our first baby where he didnt really want me to breastfeed as he wouldnt get to feed the baby but i breastfed anyway and as i also couldnt get on with the pump i found hand expressing alot easier,trust me once you have a cpl of bottles made up for baby give your partner a nudge in the middle of the night for HIS TURN and the novelty soon wears off, i have succesfully breastfed all my children and im still breastfeeding number 4, it has so many benefits for yourself and the baby, it helps you get back to your pre pregnancy weight much quicker and helps build up your babys immune system making them less likely to pick up illnesses apart from this you dont have to worry about sterillising and making up bottles, when baby wakes in the night theres no faffing about sortimng bottles you can just lay the baby at the side of you and relax, there are also plenty of places for you to breastfeed when you are out and about or if your like me and dont care you can breastfeed anywhere you please:j and of course you get the benefit of bigger boobs through the duration:p