Next of kin?

Ames

Thanks (mostly lol).

Good to know grandad wont be able to take over.

The macmillan nurse has been great and has given me her card so I'll speak to her about getting a letter for the mortgage people etc, and mum said she's happy to sign something for me.

I can't really go on her account as a joint holder because I'm on means tested benefits, plus my credit rating is shot and the bank probably wouldn't let me anyway. On top of which that could cause inheritance problems between me and my sister since anything joint would automatically become mine. If it comes to it then it'll have to be done, but hopefully it wont get to that point for a long time.

Tattyuk, I'm not really getting any support, I'm single and don't have many friends. My dad's trying but he struggles with emotional stuff, and besides he's trying to deal with how he feels about it, they were married for 20 years but it ended really badly, and he's feeling guilty that he doesn't really feel anything. I'm supposed to be seeing my book group on Saturday for a coffee and a gossip, I'm sure they'll be great when I tell them.

I'm just waiting for my sister to get here so I can tell her, I said a bit about it yesterday but she's driving from London to Yorkshire today so mum didn't want her to know the full extent and be worrying while driving.

RAS

Hi Ames

There is a huge difference between having a joint account, which means they look at your credit record and being a second signatory on your mother's account. You would not have any rights to the contents of your mother's account and you poor credit rating would not affect her.

Are your parents still married, because if so in the absence of a will, he inherits everything.

ailuro2

I think you might need lasting Power of Attorney so if she feels too poorly to deal with things herself at any time during her treatment, you can make decisions on her behalf without her having to give you additional permission.

It does require a lot of trust for your Mum to allow you to have this POA, but it's a good precaution to take in case she ends up needing it.

thorsoak

Ames - I'm sorry to read your posts and hope that your mum comes through this okay.

One thought occurs to me - is she in a pension scheme at work? If so, she should make sure that the Trustees have what is known as a "letter of wishes" which means that in the event that she doesn't get through her treatment, any pension entitlement she has goes to the people that she would like it to.

DX2

arrontdep wrote: »

State pension can be affected by a stay in hospital.

Really....
Going into hospital

You can carry on getting your State Pension while you are in hospital. Any additional pension (SERPS or second state pension) you get is also not affected by a hospital stay.
http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/life/benefits/benefits_for_people_over_sixty.htm

Ames I am sorry for hijacking your thread but when I notice incorrect information I guess I have to point this out. I would hate for anyone to be given wrong advice from arron.

Best wishes to you and your mum.

Ames

RAS wrote: »

Hi Ames

There is a huge difference between having a joint account, which means they look at your credit record and being a second signatory on your mother's account. You would not have any rights to the contents of your mother's account and you poor credit rating would not affect her.

Are your parents still married, because if so in the absence of a will, he inherits everything.

Mum doesn't want me on her accounts because she doesn't want to make me personally liable for anything.

My parents aren't married anymore so that's not an issue.

thorsoak wrote: »

Ames - I'm sorry to read your posts and hope that your mum comes through this okay.

One thought occurs to me - is she in a pension scheme at work? If so, she should make sure that the Trustees have what is known as a "letter of wishes" which means that in the event that she doesn't get through her treatment, any pension entitlement she has goes to the people that she would like it to.

I'm not sure if she's in a pension scheme, I don't think so but I'll ask.

We're starting to get our heads around everything, I've got a list of stuff to ask the macmillan nurse about.

Thanks everyone for your help.

Susan_Frost

OP, this is a worrying time for you and all the family. Hope mum gets some better news as her health is dealt with. Good luck and best wishes.

Please may I ask a question of posters about POA

Is it true that if applying for POA a letter for permission (in case of objections, I think) has to be sent by the solicitor to all the ill persons siblings and children.

And what if contact has been lost with one of these people.

Hope I'm not hijacking anything.

Thank you

Errata

Macmillan nurses seem to have a checklist as long as your arm, from my experience, they cover things you may not have even thought of just yet. They really are excellent. If your mum is being treated at Jimmy's there's a Macmillan office there in the Bexley Wing. If you need someone to talk to or offload on to the chaplains can be great people for those of all faiths or none.
One thing I would suggest, although you may be doing it, is to note everything down every day in a large notebook: details of phone calls, notes you take whilst you're discussing things with medical staff/bank/DWP etc and also put all the paperwork, and there will be loads, in one folder. That way everything is in the book or in the folder and can't get mislaid or mis-filed.
I can't know what treatment plan will be designed for your mum. Treatment can often make people very tired and chemo, which isn't called loopy juice for nothing, can make it hard for someone to remember things, think things through, make decisions. This is transient but forewarned is forearmed so if you can try and sort out as much as possible with your mum before any treatment starts it will make things very much easier for both of you.
Wishing you well and HTH

Mojisola

Errata wrote: »

Macmillan nurses seem to have a checklist as long as your arm, from my experience, they cover things you may not have even thought of just yet. They really are excellent. If your mum is being treated at Jimmy's there's a Macmillan office there in the Bexley Wing. If you need someone to talk to or offload on to the chaplains can be great people for those of all faiths or none.
One thing I would suggest, although you may be doing it, is to note everything down every day in a large notebook: details of phone calls, notes you take whilst you're discussing things with medical staff/bank/DWP etc and also put all the paperwork, and there will be loads, in one folder. That way everything is in the book or in the folder and can't get mislaid or mis-filed.
I can't know what treatment plan will be designed for your mum. Treatment can often make people very tired and chemo, which isn't called loopy juice for nothing, can make it hard for someone to remember things, think things through, make decisions. This is transient but forewarned is forearmed so if you can try and sort out as much as possible with your mum before any treatment starts it will make things very much easier for both of you.
Wishing you well and HTH

Brilliant, really useful post! Thanks, Errata.

Ames - take care of yourself and best wishes for your mother.

**curlywurly**

Susan_Frost wrote: »

Is it true that if applying for POA a letter for permission (in case of objections, I think) has to be sent by the solicitor to all the ill persons siblings and children.

And what if contact has been lost with one of these people.

Hope I'm not hijacking anything.

Thank you

No, it's only if you have an Enduring Power of Attorneythat you need to register, and then only when the person over whom you have the EPA is losing mental capacity.

All the info you need is here: http://www.publicguardian.gov.uk/

I would advise the OP to seriously consider getting a PoA or an Enduring/Lasting PoA. It does not cost "several hundred pounds" as suggested above. You can actually do it youself. However, I would probably seek specialist advice, particularly if getting an Enduring/Lasting PoA. Again, all the info you need is at the above website. If you can broach it with your mother, you should also try to persuade her to write a will asap.

V sorry for OP and her mother - best wishes to both of you