Next of kin?

Ames

Hi all.

My mum's just been diagnosed with lung cancer and I want to make sure that legally I have next of kin status for dealing with her financial and medical affairs.

I'm her oldest daughter, and she's put me down as NoK on her hospital notes, but does that count when it comes to making decisions and dealing with things? The last thing any of us want is her dad muscling in trying to overrule us, or worse. As an example of what a !!!!!! he is, she phoned him yesterday to tell him that it was bad news and he started going on about a mole he has on his cheek which needs burning off. Which to him is more important than her problems. So you can see why we don't want him involved!

I'm going to take over her affairs as far as the mortgage and stuff goes, but for that all I need is a statement authorising me I think?

Thanks in advance.

Any

As next of kin on the hospital paperwork it means that they will ask you about her final medical decisions if she is unable to do them herself I think.

However it means absolutely nothing to the bank or any of the utilities.

What you need is Power of Attorney I believe. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Power_of_attorney

Any

My sister had one done for my mother, and it only reaches as far as what is spelled out in the document - ie you can give power of attorney to only make decisions on specified matters or all decision if incapable.. Ask your solicitor and he will draw it up according to requirements.

Ames

No pension, she's only 51. She doesn't get any benefits, even working tax credit (she decided the hassle of applying wasn't worth a couple of quid a week).

I'll look into power of attorney, but I thought as long as I had her permission to speak to them on her behalf that was enough? I know it is for places like CAB, and on DFW (my usual home here) that's all people have needed? I don't really want to scare her with terms like power of attorney, she's got enough on her plate.

12bdebt3

The reason you need POA or permission is because of the data protection act. Getting authorisation off third parties to let them act on their dependents behalf can be a hassle. It does depend on the place you phone up, If she gives authorisation for you to act on her behalf then that's fine. I don't really want to mention this in fear of upsetting you which isn't what I'm trying to do. You mother has cancer so things could get worse or even fatal. If this do get worse and your mother can't simply answer the phone and talk to someone then they won't be able to help you out, you will definitely need power of attorney for things like that. You obviously won't like to think of it but if things do get worse then it'll save you a lot of hassle in the long run.

TonyMMM

Banks and utilities will be perfectly happy for you to make payments from your account into her accounts ( to pay her bills etc.), but they will not allow you to withdraw anything, vary DDs, open or close her accounts etc. unless you have a legally authorised Power of Attorney (which needs to be properly set up and registered) or you are a joint account holder with your mum.

Normally you would only take out a Power of Attorney when your mum is getting close to being mentally or physically incapable of making her own decisions.

Ames

Thanks, I was planning on just getting her to sign a statement authorising them to talk to me on her behalf, that's all I had to do with CAB when they were dealing with my debts. I wouldn't speak to anyone on the phone at all, for things as important as mortgages I want everything in writing.

DX2

arrontdep wrote: »

If your mother is going to be in hospital and in receipt of a pension make sure you inform the Pension Service as they need to know, she is entitled to one months pension while in hospital, then isn't entitled to any money after that until she gets out, just a heads up.

Wrong again!
How　does　being　in　hospital　affect　my Pension　Credit?
If　you　are　single
Your　Pension　Credit　will　normally　stay　the same　unless　you　get　extra　amounts　for:

• severe　disability　(you　will　stop　getting　this　extra　money　once　your　Attendance Allowance　or　Disability　Living　Allowance stops,　usually　after　28　days　in　hospital), or
• being　a　carer　(you　will　stop　getting　this extra　money　eight　weeks　after　your Carer’s　Allowance　stops).

If you and your partner are treated as a couple for the purposes of Pension Credit
If　one　of　you　goes　into　hospital,　your Pension　Credit　will　normally　stay　the　same for　the　first　52　weeks.　It　may　reduce　if:
[FONT=PODOS R+ Helvetica Neue,Helvetica Neue]• [/FONT]you　get　an　extra　amount　for　severe disability　or　being　a　carer　(this　will　stop when　the　Attendance　Allowance　or Disability　Living　Allowance　or　Carer’s Allowance　stops),　or
[FONT=PODOS R+ Helvetica Neue,Helvetica Neue]• [/FONT]one　of　you　is　not　likely　to　go　back　home after　leaving　hospital.
http://www.dwp.gov.uk/docs/dwp1029.pdf

tattyuk75

When my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer, the first thing we did was set me up on her bank account to make it a joint account (as at the time I was financially dependent on her), checked her will (the solicitor actually came to the hospital to set one up, although sadly, he actually died of a massive heart attack before she died), and set up a POA and a living will detailing her wishes. I know you don't want to bother her when things are going to be so difficult but trust me, it has to be done to ensure her and her wishes and business affairs are carried out by you, who she obviously trusts. If, dread the thought, she should become unable to deal with her own affairs, it will save a lot of heartache for her, you and the family. I hope you are getting the support you need at this time too, being there for someone in this way is really hard, I know.

Errata

Ames - sorry to hear about your mum, it must be a very upsetting time for all of you.
re: next of kin - if your mum isn't married and you are her eldest then you are her next of kin. Her dad appears in the NOK pecking order after all her children, so don't worry about him.

POA would be a good idea, but it does take time to set up and it does cost several hundred quid. I would suggest you ask her consultant for a letter stating her diagnosis and need of help to manage her affairs at this difficult time which you can show to Bank, DWP etc. accompanied by a letter signed by your mum giving her permission for you to deal with them on her behalf. Make sure you have good ID with you if you have any face to face discussions with Bank etc.
Finally, ask if you can be put in touch with the MacMillan Nurse and/or the hospital social work team. They will be able to advise and point you in the right direction for many things you may need help with.
HTH

Errata

Could people please stay on topic? Sniping each other does nothing to help the OP or their seriously ill mum.