Help needed please!!

Loopy_Girl

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

If that's all he's been taking.

Agreed ONW however those were the 2 substances mentioned.

bensonsmum

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Mephadrone and cannabis aren't addictive - habit forming, yes - but not addictive.

My son will tell you hes addicted to them!! you might say its a habit, well i smoke and thats classed as a bad habit, but i would also say im addicted, either way they have really mucked up his life and hes doing the best he can to get it sorted.

I spoke to him this evening and one of his new neighbours had given him some paint, so even though he hasn't as yet got himself a job he's been busy painting his kitchen and sorting out his flat.


I looked into the electric and apparently there is no debt on the key from previous tenants, but as i told the CS rep that when he first moved in and put money on the key it ate just under £4 straight away she sent him out a new key with five pounds credit on it, which will really help him out until i can get up there to see him.

I will get him to contact the housing association and find out how to regulate the hot water as i think this must be what is using all his money as he has nothing else switched on.

Thank you all for your advice you have all been great xxx

Kimitatsu

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Mephadrone and cannabis aren't addictive - habit forming, yes - but not addictive.

Sorry LG but I would disagree here - if he has been using skunk which is a highly potent type of cannabis then it is known to be highly addictive and would also go some way to explaining the depression.

BM - good for your son getting himself on the straight and narrow, does he have any support whilst he is there? He should have a support worker at the very least, if not perhaps you could suggest that he goes to the doctors and requests one? That way there is someone on hand local to him to help him out.

bensonsmum

Kimitatsu wrote: »

Sorry LG but I would disagree here - if he has been using skunk which is a highly potent type of cannabis then it is known to be highly addictive and would also go some way to explaining the depression.

BM - good for your son getting himself on the straight and narrow, does he have any support whilst he is there? He should have a support worker at the very least, if not perhaps you could suggest that he goes to the doctors and requests one? That way there is someone on hand local to him to help him out.

Im afraid to say that yes "skunk" is one of the things hes been using! when i speak to him later today will suggest he goes and sees a doctor reference a support worker and see how far he gets.

When i spoke to him last night i told him i had put an ad on the Gumtree website for work wanted - he sounded really positive and asked me to ad that he is quite willing to be a labourer as well as looking for work in his recognised trade as a roofer, he said in fact mum put down that i will do anything - sometimes i am so proud of him!! fingers crossed something might come up. He even suggested to state that he will work for a minimal rate for a day to show prospective employers what he can do!!

I also found a couple of jobs advertised which want a cv etc sending off to them so will be doing that for him today, as even though he can do it with the library being closed on a sunday he doesn't have internet access, I gave him my old laptop to take with him but since clearing it all and restarting it, it doesn't recognise the inbuilt modem or wireless card (or something like that, to do with the drivers i believe) so he can no longer access the internet.

I know hes finding it really hard as he said last night "do you realise your the only person ive had a proper conversation with in two weeks", i suggested that he try speaking to people as he use to be really outgoing and the life and soul of things, he said that he had tried but found that the people that he had managed to talk to, he found he needs to stay away from as he will end up back where he started.

Sometimes i could brain him for getting himself into such a state but other times i am so proud of him - i just wish i could wave my magic wand and make everything right for him, i know hes finding it hard but i really believe he will come out of this as a better person.

Oh and by the way if any of you are living in the Frome area and are looking for a roofer - he is brilliant at what he does and can supply brilliant references - thanks xxx

amersall

Well done to him, i wish him all the luck in the world xx and you x

eadieb

Hi, sorry I haven't had a chance to read all the way through but have the following suggestions.

I am a housing support worker and work for a housing assocation helping people sort the problems out exactly like your son. You might ask his housing association whether they have a support service for vulnerable people or approach the local housing team in his council offices and ask about applying for a support service funded by supporting people. Having a specialist support worker helping him settle himself in for a few months might be really useful for him. We do stuff like utilities, money management, benefits, debts, getting furniture etc.

He should find out where his local nhs funded drug service is and get himself a key worker who may know of lots of local schemes to get people with his difficulties back into work or into something to do in the day. For example in our area a local council owned farm uses volunteers for work as part of back to work programes. Many drug services are not just for people on heroin, they cover any problematic use of any drug.

the electric is a really common problems. People must always phone the supplier and get a new key issued when taking on a new meter. I have had clients paying off other peoples debts for over a year because they just carried on using a key they were given by the housing officer.

Very common is if people have economy 7 electric heaters. they have them on too high setting for the input and this takes loads of electric, then they have the outlet setting on full open and this is like running a tap of water on full, letting all the heat out in one go. Also with economy 7, they will have a boost button for the hot water. Lots of people, especially young people, dont know that they should only use this in emergencies. they should have their hot water heating up during the night on the cheap rate. sometimes people have the boost button set on all the time and this is eating vast amounts of electric.

He may be being charged a daily standing charge on his electric meter, which goes on regardless of whether you use any electric. He needs to find out from the supplier if this is the case. Also some suppliers are just too complex in their charges for key meters and he should consider changing to someone like equipower who have a simple flat rate per unit used for key meters.

for emergency food parcels we use local church groups including the salvation army who are fantastic.

He needs to get himself into the job centre and make sure that his claim will be up and running at his new address and make sure that his housing benefit claim is being processed.

Has he tried getting a budgetting loan. It gets paid back to DWP. he would need to say it is to purchase a cooker etc.

he could also apply for a community care grant. there are very specific criteria to meet but he would need to write on the form or in a letter with it, about how he has been leading an unsettled way of life. it is always worth a try.

The local housing office or CAB should know of where the local charitable furniture store is that supplies people on low incomes.

For bigger items like a sofa, bed, carpet etc. I frequently apply to charities on behalf of my clients. quite often there are local charities in the area and also far away ones, who if you write a letter explaining the difficulties he is under and trying to make a fresh start, they may send donations. This is where having a housing support worker comes in useful as we have a database of all the charities in england and who they provide for. Your local CAB might be able to help or at least have a copy of the charitable grant directory which you could go through. Many dont let the person apply direct themselves but some do.

hope things get better for him over the coming weeks

Mikazaru

bensonsmum wrote: »

I know hes finding it really hard as he said last night "do you realise your the only person ive had a proper conversation with in two weeks", i suggested that he try speaking to people as he use to be really outgoing and the life and soul of things, he said that he had tried but found that the people that he had managed to talk to, he found he needs to stay away from as he will end up back where he started.

What sort of stuff is he intersted in? Theres quite a few sports groups and clubs in Frome so that might be a good way to meet people? Trowbridge college isn't too far away, they have adult education/interest courses starting through the year, they might be free as he isn't working at the moment and a good way to meet people or pick up interest/skills.

If its an immersion heater he can take a look at the temperature reg himself, it'll be under the black cap. Has he got the water on all day or is being heated over night (if he's on Economy 7?)?

Kimitatsu

Morning

If loneliness is a big issue has he thought about volunteering somewhere for a day a week or even a few hours? He is not likely to run into people that will encourage him back into the drugs and it will give him something to focus on whilst he does get himself back together again.

Frequently employment tends to come from volunteering as people can see that he has changed and he will have a good reference to follow him. Not to mention it at least gets him out of the house and into the warm for part of the day!

Volunteering wont affect his benefits, as long as it is under a certain number of hours a week (will find out and come back to you on the exact number) but it may help a little.

RAS

As per my previous e-mnail, another group to get in touch with would be http://www.transitionfrome.org.uk/index.php as there will be people there involved in things like food growing who might well give him stuff, either just because or in exchange for a bit of informal help. They tend to be inherently inclusive so would give him an alternative set of commumity links and potential friends.

They have a meeting this Thursday night.

RAS

bensonsmum

You are probably aware that there have been frequent discussions on here and it is pretty much agreed that living in single accomodation it is well-nigh impossible to manage financially if you are under 26 as that is the way benefits work.

However, I can understand why your son needs to live independently for a while, until he can find people locally who are not users.