Nanny/Childminder costs? (plus a wee update on us)

dizzybuff

At the end of the day , many kids cope. Babies are more resiliant and I know you will want to spend time with your little one , but you need to do whats best for the future. Even if he will be 6 months old it will do him the world of good. As you will be sending 3 children to a Childminders you need to realise they will charge you for all 3 , for the time they are there , but you will probably get a sibling discount.

Have you thought about giving the CTC helpline a ring to see what help you will get on the wages you are on . This may be enough to get a nannie . All in all you need to do whats right both mentally and financially for you .

I personally would recommend childminders over nursery , but I cant comment on nannies , and an au pair ( personally) I wouldnt e happy leaving a baby with . But the choice is yours . Talk to a few of your freinds . Look at websites and visit groups whilst you still can . If there is a play center ( soft play ) near you pop along there as you will find many childminders go on a specific day . Good luck finding the best solution for you ..

GobbledyGook

Oh don't get me wrong dizzybuff I'm not saying there's anything wrong with nurseries at all. I know many people have to go back to work and that nurseries can be wonderful settings.

I'm just still struggling to get my head around the fact that he has not and will not get the same start that I was able to give the girls (in many ways, not just this way).

I'm just not sure if the extra wages will make up for the costs. However it's not really about that. It's more about the opportunity it will afford me in the years to come once my children are older.

mountainofdebt

when I had Junior (many many moons ago) I went back to work when he was 6 months old and he went to a nursery.

Absolute loved it there, and when he left I sat in the car for ten minutes before I went in crying and sat in the nursery crying for ten minutes as all the staff had become like family.

When he first started, the child : staff ratio was quite high so he more or less got one to one attention.

He never had a problem starting school and is a socialable so-and-so.

When my sister had her twins, she had a live out nanny and the twins consider her to be like an Aunt.....they often went to baby/toddler groups and sometimes the nanny would babysit for them if my sister and BIL wanted to go out. Very often sister and BIL go out with nanny and her boyfriend on a social basis.

The nanny came through an agency so there was never any problems if nanny was off sick or was on holiday.

Twins are socialable so-and-sos as well.

Whatever you choose to do your children will survive and thrive.....after all they have a very strong mother fighting in their corner.

Savvy_Sue

GobbledyGook wrote: »

I'm just still struggling to get my head around the fact that he has not and will not get the same start that I was able to give the girls (in many ways, not just this way).

OK, let's think about this.

Each of your children is different. You're doing your best for each of them. So baby will not get the same start as his sisters, but he's getting the BEST start you can give him.

You can do no more.

You've had a rotten hand dealt to you, and you've done your best with it, better than many would have managed. However, there are many other rotten hands which could have been dealt to you, and you'd have managed those as well.

I know because it's around the year you're bound to think about what might have been, but it might be worth not spending too much time regretting that your baby isn't getting the start you'd planned, or the start the girls got. There are many reasons why that might not have happened: if your DH hadn't been an idiot, he might have fallen under a bus / lost his job / fallen very ill, and you'd still be faced with the need to get out to work as the best thing to do in the long term, and that would still mean your baby wasn't getting the start you'd planned.

At least you are back in the larger house, and you have many options. Please try to concentrate on the best one for THIS situation, not what the best one would have been if ...

nikkilou1984

I'm a nanny - where do you live? I'm after some more work hehe

mookiandco

My little girl started with her childminder when she was just 4 months old for 4 days a week 8:15am to 5:45pm. She is now 16 months old. She adores her childminder and my childminder says she is 'the daughter she never had/never will have' (for medical reasons). My childminder has a 3 yr old son who is now at full time pre-school and my little girl and him are the best of friends. My daughter runs up their drive way every morning to see her little friend who stands looking through the letter box waiting for her! It was the hardest decision to go back to work early and to put her with a childminder, but looking at all my friends who have gone back to work after a year and who are struggling to settle their little ones into nursery/with nanny etc, I know that I made the right decision.

My daughter is far more advanced than any of her little friends because the childminder takes the time to do things with her and also because she has spent so much time in the company of an older child. She's been talking in sentences for months and can count 1-10 and with a little help recite her alphabet etc. She goes to a playgroup twice a week and to the library once a week. She also goes on trips to soft play, parks and farms etc. The childminder has a playroom full of toys and has purchased lots of little girl toys for my daughter (although she prefers the cars and trains!). I get a daily diary every day and a monthly newsletter. I also get photos about once a week and videos too. My childminder provides all meals, snacks and babywipes at no extra cost. All I have to do is provide the nappies!

I pay a flat rate of £35 per day but considering everything my childminder does I think this is amazing value!! I met with three other childminders before I settled with this one and I went with my instinct. The others just didnt seem right and didnt seem that interested in my little girl.

Going back to work early has also meant that we have been able to afford luxuries like holidays that we would have otherwise not had. I cannot tell you how fearful I was and the heartache I went through before going back to work and putting her in childcare, but I dont regret my decision at all and I dont feel that I either me or my daughter have missed out on anything.

I hope you too find your 'Mary Poppins' and wish you all the best xxxxx

dizzybuff

I know I know this is one of the hardest decisions you will make in your life. But you have to look at the hear and now, you have been presented an oportunity that is too good to miss, it will set in stone your future , you child will develop at an astounding rate and love which ever childcare you choose. ( Not without ups and downs) You have to look at the here and now , you will do what is best for your children , so they can grow up knowing mummy provided for them , thats the biggest olesson they will ever learn . I know i have an amazing mummy that did that for me

Floxxie

Hi,

I've got three children and their father left us recently. I am due to go back to work shortly and I am struggling with childcare. I have experienced childminders and nurseries before - my last childminder was appalling and the nursery are unable to offer me more than 1 full day. The after school club closes 15 minutes after I finish work so I am completely stuck. And then I considered employing a nanny.

I am hoping that this proves to be successful as I really have no other support but she has agreed to take the children to school and pick them up and that in itself is worth it. As with regards to her cost, it is comparable to the cost of putting the children in nursery, before and after school clubs and holidays clubs but it should be a lot less hassle. I also like the idea of her being in our home and the children being in familiar surroundings.

The downside is having to be her employer and sorting all the paperwork and stuff that goes with that.

GobbledyGook

Have you thought about using a Nanny agency to deal with all the pay stuff? That's what I plan to do. Although it costs a little, I think it'll be very worthwhile.


I've decided to go down the road of getting a nanny. I think it'll be the best solution for us and I've met one that I really like and who I think I'll be comfortable with.

My cousin's eldest daughter is on her gap year and is moving in with me for a month when I first go back to work. For pin money she is going to help out around the house and will help with any overlaps that are unforeseen until we're in a routine.

I've also been quite lucky in that my work have offered the role on a 3 month temporary basis, but will allow me to go back to my own job if it doesn't suit or fit with family life at the moment.

janthemum

Gemma,

Could you consider not going for this job and looking after your little boy yourself as he is only 6 months old...

Especially as you may end up not earning much more than now.

I feel the best start in life for your little ones is being with them if you can. And as you or perhaps others have said you probably would not be better off.

You will never get theae months and years of your childs/childrens life back. try and prioritse what is most important for you your three little ones or a couple of days more at work to make you feel better.

Yes Im sure this will be contovertial but dont throw these precious years away.