Got a question about income support changes for lone parents?

4leafclova

FBaby wrote: »

Sick children is a problem but surely the potential of a few 48 hours not being able to work isn't enough justification to say you can't work


It's good to hear of success stories of juggling work and motherhood and applaud you for doing so.

For every illness my son had I would need to claim holiday pay or fake as my own illness in order to get paid!! !! NB, when I really was ill I would have to work to keep sick record figures down! Colleagues then complain that I pass on my germs!! Please note chicken pox needs to be scabbed over before they can return to nursery = 1 week atleast, impitigo = 2 weeks..... to name but a few.......( you do the maths) this resulted in bad illness record for me and virtually no holiday days left to take for...... well a holiday, not to mention the bad attitude and greif I took from my manager because of this situation. I agree not all situations are the same thou in my experience it has alway been frowned upon to take time off for my childs illness and first remark is always "Do you have family who can help out". Parental responsibility is just that, the responsibility of the parent (both mother and father) however in my case there was no RESPONSIBLE father and so it always fell on me.

If only it was a case of just 48hrs then maybe this would be plausable, unfortunately as a lone parent that has first hand experience of this situation you couldn't be further from the truth.
I wonder if you would still be as dedicated to work if you knew you had no possible chance of a break from work or a paid holiday other than to take care of your child when ill? where is your personal incentive then?

4leafclova

FBaby wrote: »

Childcare is made affordable with the childcare element of WTC. It's been written here about 3 or 4 times, yet the claim that a single parent can't work because of the cost of childcare keeps coming back...

........and when the tax credits mess you about, stop payment due to a fault on their part resulting in your childs suspension from nursery for non payment....... where is the incentive to get back into work???? (personal circumstances addressed)

My wage £866/ mnth Nursery fees 633/mnth

Not a question of can't work, more a question of is it really worth it????

FBaby

4leafclova wrote: »

FBaby wrote: »

Sick children is a problem but surely the potential of a few 48 hours not being able to work isn't enough justification to say you can't work


It's good to hear of success stories of juggling work and motherhood and applaud you for doing so.

For every illness my son had I would need to claim holiday pay or fake as my own illness in order to get paid!! !! NB, when I really was ill I would have to work to keep sick record figures down! Colleagues then complain that I pass on my germs!! Please note chicken pox needs to be scabbed over before they can return to nursery = 1 week atleast, impitigo = 2 weeks..... to name but a few.......( you do the maths) this resulted in bad illness record for me and virtually no holiday days left to take for...... well a holiday, not to mention the bad attitude and greif I took from my manager because of this situation. I agree not all situations are the same thou in my experience it has alway been frowned upon to take time off for my childs illness and first remark is always "Do you have family who can help out". Parental responsibility is just that, the responsibility of the parent (both mother and father) however in my case there was no RESPONSIBLE father and so it always fell on me.

If only it was a case of just 48hrs then maybe this would be plausable, unfortunately as a lone parent that has first hand experience of this situation you couldn't be further from the truth.
I wonder if you would still be as dedicated to work if you knew you had no possible chance of a break from work or a paid holiday other than to take care of your child when ill? where is your personal incentive then?

But at least you tried, and that's where the difference is. Most children are not ill that much, I had two in nursery at one time, so double chance of being off, but it wasn't too bad. Still there are solutions, maybe asking your boss to work a .9 rather than full-time, then you continue to work you your 37.5 hours, but you take the difference in days off (which would account to 26 days a year).

From experience, I think the frustration with employers with mothers of young children (single or not) is the attitude that they can't help it if there are off because of the children. Most employers will be much more flexible if the mother shows an effort to deal with it. As I said, when I suspected my children might catch chickenpox, I always mentioned it in advance to my boss, so we could consider the workload in preparation of it happening. It did in the end, they caught it one after the other, it was inevitable! I took some days off, some days I worked at home, and a couple of times I had meetings I had to go to, I managed to get a friend to have the children (her child had had chickenpox before so she wasn't bothered). I 'repaid' her by having her children during other holidays. In the summer, I go along with two other mums to 'trade' days. We meet in June and go over the days we can exhange kids and as soon as we have a planning, i go to my boss with it. This means that I usually have 2 days a week off, which is fine with him because he knows well in advance. Yes, it is tiring because during these days, I have at least 4 children, sometimes 6, but they are all well behaved children who get along well, and we usually organise a day out to the park or the beach. These friends, I have made through nursery and work because even though they are not single, as working mothers, they face the same difficulties, it was just a case of one suggesting helping each other without feeling embarassed, after that, it made life so much easier for all of us.

I think my frustration with these kind of threads is that it inevitably becomes an accumulaltion of excuses as to why one can't work rather than sharing ideas of how to overcome the difficulties. I have tried it before, making suggestions etc... but it always come back with 'buts' which makes me feel that the posters never really have the intention to go back to work and it is easier to list all possible excuses rather than seeing that maybe it is worth giving it a try.

3guesses

Could you ask the minister why a single parent of a 7+ year-old child who is studying a degree (either full time or part time) should not be eligible to claim Income Support when they have NO other income, eg. they are having to re-train and therefore not entitled to ANY state funding - not even a student loan! - and therefore have no money to pay for their food yet alone their student fees (so much for student fees not disadvantaging the poorest in society!).

The current system effectively means that single parents CANNOT retrain, ie they are consigned to a benefits-dependent life at least until their children have grown up. Counter-productive does not even begin to describe this situation...

wintermare

Sorry but this is not true. And although i think of learning to a degree level or higher a lifestyle choice, it is free (In Scotland anyway) through OU Open Learning. And since you have no defined hrs of study IS HB CB& CBenefit and CTC can be claimed. There is also funding for computers and internet.
Perhaps students who are lone parents should be made aware of this option... it is also easier to do with children...After 9 at night and after they leave for school/ nursery.
Degree level is only 16 hrs per week (on some degrees). Plenty of time to take care of the kids and house.
Perhaps it would be better if this was presented as an option when the children turned 4/5 rather than stop benefits (as proposed"age 5").

debtmess

benefits are always going to cause a debate, however some of what has been said is not appropriate not all single mums are lazy or scroungers but sadly some are and we are all tarred with the same brush, since i have been single i have not looked to settle with anyone (hardly dated as simply don't have the time) let alone keep popping kids out, some need to be targeted (i know someone 6 kids more she pops out more she gets 4 different dads) but some of us are genuinely not single parents by choice.

i personally hate being on is and bringing up my 3 boys alone, i worked from when i left school at 16, met my now ex husband and got married at 19,moved to germany with his job (he was in the army) worked up until i had my 1st son (who is now 7) when i gave up work as my now ex could support us on his wages, we had 2 more children before he decided that he had enough and wanted an easier life,( he hardly see's his children and since august i have had £75 from him ! despite a court order for maintenance ) with 3 children under 3 i was on is, when i moved back to nearer my family(but still not near enough) i found work (eldest child just started reception), great i was happy but it was far from an easy ride, i was relying on a friend to take my boys to school/preschool picking up my youngest 2 from a childminder at 6ish and getting eldest son from a friend as no spaces at any childminders for him i hardly saw my children bar taking them home, rushing them a dinner and putting them to bed, i then found from my middle child (pre schooler) that his younger brother was being collected with him by our childminder and put straight to bed in a dark room (he was a handful from 2 but rather than tell me she couldn't cope with him she put him to bed, a year later my youngest was diagnosed with autism) my childminder imho was very expensive at 5.00 per hour (2 boys with her 11.30 till 6) 5 days a week. my boys behaviour went very downhill in this time my youngest went through a horrible time and in the end i gave up work.

my youngest has just started school (unit in a infant school, he has a sen statement, his school is 45 mins away ) i receive higher rate dla and careers allowance, however the laugh of it is i asked at my last work focused interview about possible courses and was told i was not expected to find work due to my youngest being in recipt of dla and his statement of special educational needs, i want to work now there all at school or i want to be able to do more courses.

so my question more than anything would be about affordable childcare for children with extra needs many childminders have no extra training/experance so the spaces are hard to find or the spaces you can get are not always a good option, with 6 weeks of summer holidays what is a working parent to do ?

and for now, i do 2 college courses (numeracy/literacy level 2) 3 other courses (based at schools via local childrens project) and read 2 times a week in my kids school

i feel almost stuck as to what jobs i can do i really do not want to go back into retail, there is not a huge amount of jobs with hours to fit around schools, more and more are training to become teaching assistants making that harder to get into (thats what i would like to do but the sen route ) i cannot train as a childminder as i have 3 of my own 9no good holiday time) and my place is simply to small to even consider it

where are all these new jobs really going to come from ? and for those that cannot find anything suitable how do we manage when jsa etc gets cut ? my rent alone is £850 ( i really think rents should be capped as sorry some ll are greedy)with no hope of renting anything that costs less (4 of us in a tiny 2 bed flat) if i could move anywhere nearer to my mum (she is 35 mins away) my issues would be no more, i could work and she would happily have her grandchildren, collect them from school and provide a parental rolemodel ) but sadly you don't get that with a childminder as said earlier to some its about the ££££

i daily feel stuck between the rock and the hardplace, all the changes are worrying me, i go to bed with the same worries running through and through (2.40 and still up)

kingfisherblue

Debtmess, I studied for my degree part time while the kids are at school. It took five years rather than three, but it gave me something to work towards. I did a foundation degree first, in Supporting Teaching and Learning, and then topped up to an Honours degree in Inclusive Education. It didn't impact on my benefits because it was part time, and I received a £250 grant every year to pay towards costs such as travel, books or childcare.

Also, ask at your local council about DCATCH - it's to do with childcare for disabled children. My local council also offer some palyschemes for disabled children at Easter and summer, although disabled children in mainstream schools are often missed out and parents have to request it. Might be worth asking though.

3guesses

wintermare wrote: »

Sorry but this is not true. And although i think of learning to a degree level or higher a lifestyle choice, it is free (In Scotland anyway) through OU Open Learning. And since you have no defined hrs of study IS HB CB& CBenefit and CTC can be claimed. There is also funding for computers and internet.
Perhaps students who are lone parents should be made aware of this option... it is also easier to do with children...After 9 at night and after they leave for school/ nursery.
Degree level is only 16 hrs per week (on some degrees). Plenty of time to take care of the kids and house.
Perhaps it would be better if this was presented as an option when the children turned 4/5 rather than stop benefits (as proposed"age 5").

I see, so single parents should only be allowed to do Open University courses. No doubt, they should also be grateful that they are even allowed that privilege. And whether or not they can actually do their course through the OU is a completely irrelevant detail.

I shall give you the example of my friend. She is studying a part-time degree which requires ~10 hours/week attendance at university. Her course also requires that she does a number of placements to get sufficient practical experience in that field. They require another ~12 hours/week. Because all of these are separate, she has total travelling time of about ~8 hours/week. Her course also requires about ~12 hours/week private study and research. So that is ~42 hours/week already. Since her son is over 8, she has to be available to work another 16 hours/week. And as a single parent she has sole responsibility for all of her son's needs. Since she is re-training, she gets no State funding (not even a student loan), so her only income to fund herself through all this (living costs and tuition fees) is JSA.

So, on top of the 42 hours/week her course requires she is also expected to be a full-time mother (and father) AND to work 16 hours/week. When exactly is she supposed to have something pertaining to be a life, or even sleep? It would be tough enough as part of a 2-parent family for her to do all that is required; as a single mother it is near impossible without suffering a mental break-down.

But what does a person's mental health matter, providing they are not costing the State £65 per week...

SingleSue

For me, OU fits in with what I have to do for the care of my boys...I don't see it as a lower choice but as a means to an end - I can get my degree and still be a carer, a win win situation.

It also means that if I am lucky enough to find a job which fits around my boys, I can still study.

I've no idea why I didn't do it sooner!

wintermare

I agree Sue it fit perfectly and is a great option. Study is a lifestyle choice and just because you are a parent/ single parent you shouldn't be under the impression that everything is given to you on a silver platter.
University/ having a degree is an honour and single people come out of it with mountains of debt. In the US as soon as the child is conceived they start a uni fund. Here we take so much for granted and whine when not given hand outs.
I really don't want to be told to get a job in retail (for min wage) when my youngest turns 5 so im doing everything i can now.