*** Tuesday 12th October Daily Chat

BILLIE

Lucifa73 wrote: »

No, no and er HELL NO!!!

ETA: Or what Billie said which is far better put...

No it isn't - just as I said been there and done it, got the 't' shirt and see the video!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but thanks for the compliment Luc xx

Lucifa73

BILLIE wrote: »

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh yes pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee xx

Will have a look tonight

tenmah

Sal - Also been there and done that. This is my own opinion and I know a lot of people don't agree with it, so here goes.....I have never hidden the truth about her dad to my daughter. I was not one of those woman who bit their tongue and made out he was an angel when he most certainly wasn't.

So when he didn't turn up to see her because he was lying drunk somewhere or had a hangover and couldn't get out of bed - I told her.
When he didn't give us any money and I bought her up alone financially for the first 11 years of her life - I told her.

You get the drift.

The reason I did this is because I didn't want her to think he was Mr Wonderful and then wake up as a teenager and realise it had all been lies, because they do find out eventually and when the scales fell from her eyes I didn't want 16 years of hurt to arrive.

So she knew what he was like from day one, and now if he says something, she knows to take it with a pinch of salt and she knows how hard it has been for me, but we are as close as close can be.

I know that is a controversial view, but it has worked for us. So if he didn't have the money or couldn't be bothered to buy a present for her for Christmas, then I didn't buy one to solve his conscience.

BILLIE

:j:j:j:j:j

Lucifa73 wrote: »

Will have a look tonight

:j:j:j:j:j

sallyx

Okay....I think im just too nice! I don't like to see him or her go without. Actually tbh I shall probably have to fund the trip up to his for B in half term. I guess I think that ive ended up with everything from our house (although I said he could take whatever he wanted) so feel a bit guilty he's got nothing

tenmah

Anyway loving all the creativity on this thread - you are all so talented.

Washing machine is now working - yay!

Daughter's office just phoned to see how she is (she is signed off sick for a week) and I am not sure they should phone her, even to see how she is. What do you think?

BILLIE

tenmah wrote: »

Sal - Also been there and done that. This is my own opinion and I know a lot of people don't agree with it, so here goes.....I have never hidden the truth about her dad to my daughter. I was not one of those woman who bit their tongue and made out he was an angel when he most certainly wasn't.

So when he didn't turn up to see her because he was lying drunk somewhere or had a hangover and couldn't get out of bed - I told her.
When he didn't give us any money and I bought her up alone financially for the first 11 years of her life - I told her.

You get the drift.

The reason I did this is because I didn't want her to think he was Mr Wonderful and then wake up as a teenager and realise it had all been lies, because they do find out eventually and when the scales fell from her eyes I didn't want 16 years of hurt to arrive.

So she knew what he was like from day one, and now if he says something, she knows to take it with a pinch of salt and she knows how hard it has been for me, but we are as close as close can be.

I know that is a controversial view, but it has worked for us. So if he didn't have the money or couldn't be bothered to buy a present for her for Christmas, then I didn't buy one to solve his conscience.

It is hard to be hard Ten, but as we know you have to be. I agree with this totally - I never told mine he was something he was not, but on the other hand never rubbished him in front of them. They are all now fine young men, because of me (yes I do now take the praise for that although that has only been recently because others have told me so). They eventually saw him for what he was - I never kept from them that he didn't support us financially because it was easier when they wanted something I couldn't afford. I am so proud of them and he has missed out on so much and for what .................... Sorry Sally this all sounds so harsh I am sure, but in 10 years you will look back and think differently. Billie xx

BILLIE

sallyx wrote: »

Okay....I think im just too nice! I don't like to see him or her go without. Actually tbh I shall probably have to fund the trip up to his for B in half term. I guess I think that ive ended up with everything from our house (although I said he could take whatever he wanted) so feel a bit guilty he's got nothing

Oh yes I did that - many a trip to daddy was paid for by mummy cos otherwise it was turned around that "mummy doesn't want you to come"!! Mind games Sally. You will come through it all cos you are a tough cookie when you have to be and not soft at all just human. xx

sallyx

Tenmah I think you have probably done the very very best thing there...your daughter knows the truth and thats important. Ive always been honest and dd knows daddy doesn't have a job or any money at the moment. Anyway he could be creative and do something like take a nice picture of them together get it framed for a few £'s and give it to her...wouldn't cost him anything and she would really really appreciate it. There are many things he could do but thats up to him, he's just always been the grand gesture type (after all he spent £150 on her birthday!!)

BILLIE

tenmah wrote: »

Anyway loving all the creativity on this thread - you are all so talented.

Washing machine is now working - yay!

Daughter's office just phoned to see how she is (she is signed off sick for a week) and I am not sure they should phone her, even to see how she is. What do you think?

It depends Ten on whether you think they think she is pulling the wool. Or are they genuinely concerned. Also I think (think) under employment law they are allowed to make contact and also can visit. Am sure someone will correct me here xx Hope she gets better soon though xx