a bit gutted really, dress related

twirlypinky

I told h2B that I'd found a bargainous dress (£30 but unworn, tea length, lovely) for our destination wedding. I didn't describe it, just said it was only £30 which was very mse.

Anyway, long silence followed by "you are wearing a proper wedding dress aren't you?"

So, i put a website on full of dresses and asked him to go through them saying yes and no. Turns out that all the dresses he really likes are very long and look rather a lot like my dress from my first wedding (obviously something i want to avoid) and he thinks that short dresses are not proper wedding dresses.

Now, i really want to look like his dream bride when i appear at that little chapel, but i also want to be wearing something i love, and not really expensive.

Upsest now

lindaatno9

What's your budget?

binkyboo_2

I too spent £30 on a monsoon long grecian style dress in gold and ivory patchwork material. I loved it at first but as our planning went on I realised that everything else I had chosen was more 'traditional' wedding style but my dress wasn't. I also started panicking that h2b was expecting me to turn up in a 'proper' wedding dress and I so didn't want him to be disappointed on our day.
So I looked around and bought a second dress off ebay for £150. once it had arrived and I knew I loved it I decided to show oh the original dress and he didn't like it at all, it was nothing like he was expecting and he thought it would be a shame to miss out on the traditional bridal look.
I guess ultimately I made the right decision to change dresses but I am having a december hotel wedding ceremony with wedding breakfast etc. You are having a destination wedding. A full length bridal dress will be hot, heavy etc. If you love it and you feel it is right for your big day and both of you then keep it, but if you have doubts then maybe consider looking around with an open mind for something else?

twirlypinky

well it was always really going to depend on the dress. Obiovusly, i don't want to spend more than i have to, but if i need to spend £500 i can, i'd just rather not!

twirlypinky

Well I've not actually bought it yet, i just thought i would. I didn't have my heart set on that specific dress, but i did have my heart set on a short one.

h2b just looked at the short ones on the page and didn't even take them seriously, he just went, "oh well, they're not even proper wedding dresses". He said he doesn't want me looking like i bought it from Oasis.

This is my second wedding and i really didn't want to do the big dress thing. It feels hypocritical really.

themull1

i married for the second time last year and i had a long 'proper' wedding dress. Its not my husbands second marriage, its his first and i wanted to look bridal for him. its not hypocrytical i don't think, although my marriages were not religious, but if it was me, and i knew my husband to be was expecting a long wedding dress, i would get one. You could get a shorter dress for your evening celebration? maybe compromise that way? i was nearly 41 when i got married the second time, but i didn't feel as though io was mutton dressed as lamb, why not try some dresses on and see how you feel in them? Good luck.!!

aliasojo

twirlypinky wrote: »

This is my second wedding and i really didn't want to do the big dress thing. It feels hypocritical really.

Have you actually talked to him about this...or just shown him pics for his opinion?

twirlypinky

I will try them on, but to be honest, i want a short one more because i really like them than anything else. They're a bit different.

I can't really change as the ceremony is at 6.45 in the evening and then we're going straight to a taverna.

This is the silly thing, up till now we've been trying to keep it all very informal. H2b isn't going to wear a tie, yet I'm supposed to be in a "proper" wedding dress.

I've come a long way forward, to be fair when we first got engaged i was just going to get a pretty dress, i had no intention of going into a proper shop.

twirlypinky

aliasojo wrote: »

Have you actually talked to him about this...or just shown him pics for his opinion?

Yes, i've tried to be as open about it all as i can because that's just the way we are. It's very out of character for us to have a secret this big. It's like the last four days of our trip, we're going off on our own for the honeymoon bit at the end and i'm not allowed to know where it is. It's very strange.

He suggested going to a shop with me and seeing me in some because seeing them on the internet isn't the same as seeing me in them, but i don't think you're supposed to do it like that.

I'm torn between wanting to look like his dream bride and wanting to wear something i love myself.

Sammy85_2

Just because its a long length dress doesnt mean it has to be a "big" dress. There are plenty of examples out there that are lighter and more fitted, but still have the "bridal look".

Perhaps you could have your shorter dress for the night do?

Here are some dresses ive found, not sure what size you are though, but will give you an idea.

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Strapless-Ivory-Wedding-Dress-UK-size-12-14-/290483706142?pt=UK_Wedding_Clothing&hash=item43a22d991e

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Wedding-Dress-Size-16-Ivory-/110593426869?pt=UK_Wedding_Clothing&hash=item19bfe1c5b5

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/wedding-dress-/330482613430?pt=UK_Wedding_Clothing&hash=item4cf24c7cb6

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/bargin-wedding-dress-/250707775684?pt=UK_Wedding_Clothing&hash=item3a5f5910c4

Photos pants on the last one, but looks to be a corseted top with a ruffled/pickup skirt. Bargain price too!

Swinstie73

Now I'm worried twirlypink, I've got a tea length dress as we were supposed to marry in Barbados (ain't gonna happen due to flight times), so now we're marrying here, and I've been worried that H2B would like me in a more traditional longer dress. It's my first time but his second and I'm thinking maybe I should get a longer dress, but it's not really me IYSWIM! Decisions, decisions, but I loved the dress you picked twirly, it was lovely.