Having a baby....

ppolly

I just wanted to send a word of encouragement. You have every right to have this baby and bring it up as a single parent, if that is what you want. I have a good friend who has done exactly that, she has found it hard, but has managed, and the bond between her and her daughter (who is now 17) is a delight to see. They both have contact with the father, who contributes financially in a very casual way. Don't get married because you think you 'ought' to. There may not be a 'right' thing to do, there are certainly numerous options that you need to investigate and consider carefully, preferably with your boyfriend if possible. P.S. there is no 'right time' to have a baby!

thorsoak

You are in a situation that was not uncommon in the UK in the early 60s when contraception was a little more "hit & miss" than it is now. If you feel, deep down, that you really want this baby, and can raise him/her on your own, with little support from the state, then you will - it wasn't easy then, and it won't be easy now - but others have done it, and so can you - if that is what you really want.

Good luck - may the ground rise up to meet you, may the sun be always on your shoulder.

Plans_all_plans

You could also speak to LIFE, they are a pro-life organisation who can offer you practical help and advice to enable you to carry on with your pregnancy. They can also offer housing at one of their centres if they have room/operate in your area. See here for more information: http://www.lifecharity.org.uk/ and this is their helpline number 0800 915 4600

I would strongly advise you speaking to them if you are worried how you will cope financially and mentally. I was in your position at 21 and had only been with my daughter's father for 5 months when we found out I was pregnant. Neither of us had jobs (were both students) but now we have our gorgeous daughter together. Good luck.

ETA: We are now married, my daughter's father is now my husband. He works full time and I work part time.

Duncombe

ppolly wrote: »

You have every right to have this baby and bring it up as a single parent, if that is what you want.

thorsoak wrote: »

If you feel, deep down, that you really want this baby, and can raise him/her on your own..

The OP has not mentioned being a single parent! She only stated that she didn't wish to marry her current partner - that doesn't automatically mean she is heading for singledom!

clairec79

To be fair if he can't remain in the country and she wants to stay in the UK then for all intents and purposes she will be raising the baby on her own (even if they are still together)

DX2

clairec79 wrote: »

To be fair if he can't remain in the country and she wants to stay in the UK then for all intents and purposes she will be raising the baby on her own (even if they are still together)

She may not be entitled to any benefits either what with her being out of the country for sometime, what will she do if the state can't help her...best that she is warned what may happen.